What Makes A Mother?

Some people just can never take the hint. Even when it’s not so much of a hint, but a straight forward “leave me the fuck alone and let me get on with my life.”

As a parent I now realize that all parents have their faults. I too am not a saint nor am I the perfect mother, but I try my damned hardest. It’s my wish to have a good relationship with my children. Talking with my mom was done only when I needed something from the store and then when I got old enough I just got it myself. Truly, I resent my mother. To this day, yes, it’s petty and silly…I forgive her, but I can’t be apart of it any longer.

There is so much I could say…so many stories.

My sister and I had to get up at 4:45am in order to get to school on time, because I went to a private school that didn’t have a bus. My parents didn’t want us to walk too school and if it was left up to my mother…we were always late…ALWAYS. She used to make us keep secrets from my Dad. Come on…how fucked up is that?! My parents always sat in different rooms and never talked. They never did anything together. To keep my Dad from leaving her, my mother would always come down with “some strange disease” and this worked for 30 years. She never died…in 30 years of “near death.” Then after the divorce she really sank into a depression and lost her job because she just didn’t show up for work and tried to blame it on her illness. If it were a one time thing they might have…no, they would have been okay with it. Yet, just like her responsibility to get us to school on time she shirked her responsibility as a DON so she could lay in bed, get fat, and sleep all damn day.
She blames things on everyone but her. Yeah, I know I wasn’t the best daughter…there’s a lot of things I would do differently, but I can admit “I” fucked up. Yup, me…I fuck up from time to time. I’m human, but I learn from my mistakes and I pride myself on never making the same mistake twice…I can find new and better ways to fuck up…because I’m just that way. Why can’t people just admit that they’re a fuck up? You have to admit to the problem before you can do anything about it.

Why am I rambling on about all of this?

My mom called my little sister yesterday. She won’t call here because someone will always pick up. Smokey Smurf called me and played the recording.

I said, “So what does she want now?”

Smokey- “I don’t know, but she wouldn’t call if she didn’t need or want something…I’m not calling her back.”

Me- “I don’t blame you…it’s been nice without all of the drama. I wouldn’t call her back…too many bitches over there.”

Ass-Master in the back ground (you need to call her just to make sure nothing bad has happened)

Smokey and Me- “Hell NO!”

So Smokey Smurf calls me back later after she called our mother. (Yup, the Ass-Master talked her into it) And…surprise, surprise…she wanted something. Apparently she’s been falling down at work (yeah, uh-hu…I’m just so concerned can you tell) and she’s on paid suspension. She wanted my little sister Smokey Smurf to try and get her a job at the place where Smokey works. Then she goes on about how she doesn’t understand what’s going on and bla bla bla “I’m so alienated”…suck it up woman.

While Smokey is on the phone with our mother Smokey hears our stupid-bitch niece in the back ground saying “she’d better not be talking shit about us.”

SHUT THE FUCK UP, little bitch. Yeah, she’s turning out just like her bitch mother.

You know, our older sister was never really a sister to us and it’s always been her way or the highway. She’s an evil manipulative glory seeking bitch. She’s treating her kids just like our mom treated us. She dragged her two kids around from fuck to fuck and had herself committed after her divorce because she only married that guy because she felt sorry for him. How do I know this? She fucking told me. She told me the story of her ex-husband wanting sex and had been drinking so she told him to wait for her to freshen up and hid in the bathroom until he passed out. She told me how she moved out with one guy to go on a trip with another guy because she deserved it from what she had to put up with when she was with him and then moved back in with guy #1 when she got back from the trip. Where were her two kids during all of this? Who the fuck knows!

Fuck that…even if I have to give up a favorite hobby or pay cut or whatever!...I love my kids and will make sure that they have good memories of me. I will never forget them or make them late on a regular basis so that they get in trouble for something that is not their fault. I will sacrifice for them and make due with nothing so they have everything. I will talk with them and listen even if I don’t agree…it’s important to listen and try to understand how someone…anyone feels. I will NEVER tell them that I love their father more than them. I will not ever make them choose sides, should it not work out in my marriage, because Rogue Wit is a good father to them.

Why would you have children just to push them aside and hurt them?
How can a mother ignore and manipulate their children…and not try to protect them?