100 things about me (See I told you, Rogue Wit, that I could get it done in about an hour)

1. I’m blonde

2. I love music

3. My children are my world

4. I hope to one day become a world famous author

5. In high school I wanted to be the first white female rapper

6. I swore I would never have kids—I now have two (thank God for tubules)

7. I have dated more than three men at once (all of them but one was completely Oblivious to the fact and he still didn’t care)

8. I don’t pretend to know everything (but I damn near do, if I do say so myself)

9. I love to sing and I used to do solos, duets, trios, and was a lead alto in choir

10. I hate bugs…especially the ones that can fly!

11. That goes for spiders too…I hate them as well

12. I love snakes and would own one but, the old man is scared of them

13. I love pets (I have three green annuls, one bur bur skink, and a scraggly cat)

14. I procrastinate and piss myself off in the process but, nothing ever changes

15. I collect fairies

16. I collect lady bugs

17. I LOVE trees (they are everything that makes me smile)

18. I am easily entertained

19. I am extremely loyal (like that dog that never leaves)

20. I love to read about ancient Egyptian stuff like Hatshepsut for one

21. I watch the discover channel

22. I would love to do an autopsy

23. I like to dissect things in class

24. I am a book worm

25. I have a fascination with vampires

26. I am afraid of the dark—yes, even now at the age of 26

27. I can gag my husband with just the right fart

28. I have seen more penises than a seasoned porn star…LOL

29. I love Spongebob Squarepants

30. I still laugh when people fart

31. I love scary movies even though I don’t like to be scared anymore

32. I AM strange

33. I am artsy-fartsy (see…fart humor, LOL)

34. I don’t swallow

35. I have told others to “suck my misshapened hairy balls” and meant it (even though I Lack those particular appendages)

36. I like to watch shows like MXC just because people in pain are funny (except at
At work…I am after all going to be a Nurse…he he)

37. My whole family can talk about poop, urine, vomit, and phlegm while eating
And not get sick…and do it with a strait face

38. I have seen two men do it in real life (and yes, it’s disgusting…I will
Never be the same)

39. I love to give my husband “Dutch Ovens”

40. I used to smoke pot before I had the kids

41. I have never had a “golden shower” nor do I wish to experience such
(Bad R. Kelly!)

42. I do, indeed, have junk in my trunk

43. I can misspell my own name

44. I have run naked through the woods before (good times, good times)

45. I HATE math…any kind, even with a calculator

46. I think lesbians are missing out

47. I think gay men have it too good

48. I think long dark hair is sexy (my husband used to have it, but lacks the amount to
Grow it long now; bless ‘em)

49. Most of my family are psychotic

50. I like to bite ;)

51. I am very obsessive over particular things but, that doesn’t make me OCD does it?

52. I like to make a joyful noise…even when I don’t know the words

53. I have shaved someone’s ass before

54. I know how and have given a milk and molasses enima before (at work, no less)

55. I watch wrestling (…and am in love with The Rock)

56. I have learned that a quick smack of the head can deflate even the boniest of
Boners…Thanks for the info. Smokey Smurf

57. I have pulled unnatural things out of old ladies vanginas (you have to love working
At a nursing home)

58. I know what a UTI smells like and haven’t been wrong about a diagnosis yet

59. I love swamps

60. I am a neat freak

61. I don’t iron

62. I know the spot that makes a man’s testicles jump (on each side)

63. I speak Red-neck

64. I have experienced the unexplained

65. I love the water but, I’m deathly afraid of drowning

66. I think that driving is a privilege and not a right

67. I carry everything I need to survive the holocaust in my purse

68. I know how to take a blood pressure on some one’s leg

69. I’ve had to use CPR before

70. I love pumpkins

71. I am a fag hag

72. I can take down any sized man with four little words: grab, twist, and pull

73. I hate to fly—they should be known as the “Wrong Brothers”

74. I have never seen the Ocean…any of them

75. I have never been out of the country

76. I talk in my sleep

77. I used to sleep walk

78. I believe one of my brothers is possessed

79. I can no longer ear or smell bananas (after a bad 99bananas incident which I
Won’t mention…it’s to painful)

80. I have a cousin who still refers to me as “spread-eagle”

81. I hate having my name shortened (its Devona not Dev)

82. I hate having my name mispronounced (it’s pronounced:
De (with the e like in leg)- vuna (as in wanna, you wanna go out?)

83. I have broken my toes so many times that I can make the poor misshapened
things wave individually

84. I am jealous of my sister who can make fart noises using her knee and I
Can’t even do it with my arm pit

85. I love Hootie and The Blowfish

86. I know all the words to most any Neil Diamond song

87. I used to own some of Debbie Gibson’s tapes (God forgive me)

88. I’ve never gotten a tattoo but, I am planning on getting one when I get through
Nursing School

89. I love old Victorian houses

90. I like grave yards

91. I want to be a millionaire

92. My OBGYN used my as a puppet when I gave birth to my daughter…her hand
Was so far up my crautch that she could make me talk—puppeteer style

93. I believe in circumcision and if you’d seen as many 30-45-50 year old men
As I have come into the hospital to have one because of bad cleaning habits
You’d be a believer too

94. I know the secret to a man’s heart…one man, and it’s chocolate

95. I have road rage

96. I sing in the shower

97. I sleep with the night light on

98. I’ve kept a journal since the 8th grade

99. I like adventure…but not too much adventure because I also have
Anxiety problems, lol

100. I AM all that and a bag of chips