Fantastic Elastic!

Twas the year of "not-so-long-ago" that the Rogue Wit and I ventured to get a new bed...a bigger bed...a bed that wasn't older than my husband.

You see, I tend to sleep from corner to corner being as before we got a place I had been sleeping on couches...Because after one of my moves, I lost my bed. It was so nice to have a bed again that whilst I was sleeping my body would try to take over the bed...As in forcing my poor ol' man to the edge of his side as I drape my leg over him and mumble in my sleep.

So, Rogue Wit decides that we need a new bigger bed...We step up to a Queen. *Yes, I am*

It is delivered and set up and THEN it dawns on us that we have no sheets for that size bed. Oops!

So, off I go with my pregnant ass to the Wal-Mart to get some sheets. I find a nice set and decide while I'm there to get some of those snap-on sheet holders. You know, the ones that act like a guarder belt for you sheets so they don't pop off in the middle of the night.

Well, I bring them home and give them a good washing and about bed time we set about making the bed. This is one of my anal-traits...I cannot sleep in a bed unless it is completely made up.

Now comes time for the fitted-snaps...And it takes a while for me to remember how I used to work these things (because they're just like the one used to hold up fish-net stockings)...So I show Rogue Wit.

We set about doing the task, I on my side...He on the other.

I, being a woman and can do more than one thing at a time and at a more appropriate pace, get mine finished first. So I hop up on the dresser and chit-chat with hubby while he struggles along.

Now, yes, I could've helped...Or for that matter finished the other one for him.

Nope!

Every woman knows that if you don't let a man do something then he will think he DOESN'T have to do it at all...And won't. So, you have to just let them fuck with it until they get it done and know what the fuck they're supposed to be doing.

I don't fall for the, "I don't know how..." Thing.

Now, he starts on the last one and....SNAP!

The Rogue Wit falls over on the bed as if he'd been shot. I jump down and ask him what the hell happened...As I'm looking him over for a bullet wound or something.

He proceeds to tell me that the "Fucking snap-thingy" just "snapped" him in the balls.

I'm giggling even thinking about it. I know that that is evil...Laughing at the man you love as he is in pain. I couldn't help it...I was hysterical!

So...From that day forward...If there is a snap on the bed, I have put it there. He's not about to try that shit again and I, being the sensitive, loving wife, don't make him.

Yet, he still hears me giggle when I put the snaps on.