...And the Oscar goes to...
Does anyone ever find themselves with a lack of drive, of insinuate, of ideas, of...Inspiration...
It seems I have hit a mega dose of writer's block. I've had it now for quite some time and...I'm just stuck. The poems that I love to write and so easily have flowed from my finger tips in the past have left me. My mind won't put words in my hands.
I have many things that I want to say but, many of those I feel I cannot. Yet, what the hell...Here goes. I feel pissed off. I love Halloween and I love half of Thanks Giving and Christmas. It's my Mother's half that I have a problem with. My oldest brother was/is an ass. I could've bitch slapped him when he got onto my daughter and my niece (not his daughter). They were playing and it was a stupid foot ball game...He being the adult could've judged what was more important. Family fun or watching a damn foot ball game and ignoring the family that he feels are unworthy of his presence...Yup, that's a tough one. Then he insinuates that my schooling is poor compared to his own. He already has his masters from OU. Yeah, but he's still just a public servant. Yeah, that's right. I said it. He' s a stuck up cop! I pay his damn salary! He could at least pretend to be civil towards me. Fuck him! It's cool though, just as long as he leaves my daughter out of it. I'm a regular lioness when it comes to my kids-cop or no cop...I'll kick his ass. (there goes my temper again)
Then, my other brother (the addict) was over there with his step-kids and new wife. I don't even care. I jumped onto those little brats right in front of the bitch. Somebody needed to do it. If the child is sick, use some common since and keep him off of my 93 year old Grandma's bed. What, so he just wants her to get sick and die quicker?! Dumb ass! Yeah, I made the little brat get off of the bed and I also sat there assess on the couch while I called their mother inside to "handle" them before I did. *again, no one hits my daughter...The oldest boy did when she only wanted him to play with her. I don't know how they're being raised...I don't care...But they will not behave like that around me. My brother and his wife were oblivious to the fact that their youngest was out front in the street for a good ten minutes or more by himself. The kid is only...Maybe three, probably closer to two. I don't know about you all but, I know where my two year old and four year old are at all times. Fucking red-necks....Why do I have to be related to them.
Then...My last bitch for tonight--promise...My older sister and brother (who are technically only half but, my dad raised them and adopted them) looked up and invited their dad to the Thanks Giving dinner. Okay, first off...They don't even speak to my Dad anymore. It's not for the lack of my Dad's trying. And, my Dad is certainly not welcome to get near my Mother or the rest of them because they refuse to see the truth and be adults. Second, their Dad (who is just so much better than mine) dislocated my Mother's shoulder infront of them and left her their where she tried to kill herself. He was an alcoholic and abusive. He didn't want anything to do with them. Yet, he came to our Thanks Giving dinner. I wasn't giving thanks that day. My Dad may not have been Ward Clever but, he tried. He stepped in and helped raise them and did his best under the circumstances. Everyone wants to forget that my Mother should be held accountable as well. It does indeed take two to tango. They sat around and reminisced about "the old days" but, he wasn't in their life long enough to talk about. And how can they just welcome him in with open arms after the hell he put my Mother through!?
Am I crazy? I feel like screaming at them. The crappy part is that my nieces and nephews have to be dragged around through all of this crap. I love them...I love my nieces and nephews. With the age difference between my older sister and brother...We always got pushed off to the kids table and now we are closer for it. We're more like brothers and sisters than aunts, nieces, and nephews. Yeah, though I am doing all of this bitching and making known my up-sets, it doesn't really matter how I feel. I think the worst part of it was during the family pictures when Mom, Mark, Maria, and their dad (Mom's "X") sat on the same couch together. I sure as hell didn't take a picture. I mean, where was our Dad? They sure as fuck didn't invite him! Damn it why does every body have to be so dramatic...Including my Oscar-winning self.
It seems I have hit a mega dose of writer's block. I've had it now for quite some time and...I'm just stuck. The poems that I love to write and so easily have flowed from my finger tips in the past have left me. My mind won't put words in my hands.
I have many things that I want to say but, many of those I feel I cannot. Yet, what the hell...Here goes. I feel pissed off. I love Halloween and I love half of Thanks Giving and Christmas. It's my Mother's half that I have a problem with. My oldest brother was/is an ass. I could've bitch slapped him when he got onto my daughter and my niece (not his daughter). They were playing and it was a stupid foot ball game...He being the adult could've judged what was more important. Family fun or watching a damn foot ball game and ignoring the family that he feels are unworthy of his presence...Yup, that's a tough one. Then he insinuates that my schooling is poor compared to his own. He already has his masters from OU. Yeah, but he's still just a public servant. Yeah, that's right. I said it. He' s a stuck up cop! I pay his damn salary! He could at least pretend to be civil towards me. Fuck him! It's cool though, just as long as he leaves my daughter out of it. I'm a regular lioness when it comes to my kids-cop or no cop...I'll kick his ass. (there goes my temper again)
Then, my other brother (the addict) was over there with his step-kids and new wife. I don't even care. I jumped onto those little brats right in front of the bitch. Somebody needed to do it. If the child is sick, use some common since and keep him off of my 93 year old Grandma's bed. What, so he just wants her to get sick and die quicker?! Dumb ass! Yeah, I made the little brat get off of the bed and I also sat there assess on the couch while I called their mother inside to "handle" them before I did. *again, no one hits my daughter...The oldest boy did when she only wanted him to play with her. I don't know how they're being raised...I don't care...But they will not behave like that around me. My brother and his wife were oblivious to the fact that their youngest was out front in the street for a good ten minutes or more by himself. The kid is only...Maybe three, probably closer to two. I don't know about you all but, I know where my two year old and four year old are at all times. Fucking red-necks....Why do I have to be related to them.
Then...My last bitch for tonight--promise...My older sister and brother (who are technically only half but, my dad raised them and adopted them) looked up and invited their dad to the Thanks Giving dinner. Okay, first off...They don't even speak to my Dad anymore. It's not for the lack of my Dad's trying. And, my Dad is certainly not welcome to get near my Mother or the rest of them because they refuse to see the truth and be adults. Second, their Dad (who is just so much better than mine) dislocated my Mother's shoulder infront of them and left her their where she tried to kill herself. He was an alcoholic and abusive. He didn't want anything to do with them. Yet, he came to our Thanks Giving dinner. I wasn't giving thanks that day. My Dad may not have been Ward Clever but, he tried. He stepped in and helped raise them and did his best under the circumstances. Everyone wants to forget that my Mother should be held accountable as well. It does indeed take two to tango. They sat around and reminisced about "the old days" but, he wasn't in their life long enough to talk about. And how can they just welcome him in with open arms after the hell he put my Mother through!?
Am I crazy? I feel like screaming at them. The crappy part is that my nieces and nephews have to be dragged around through all of this crap. I love them...I love my nieces and nephews. With the age difference between my older sister and brother...We always got pushed off to the kids table and now we are closer for it. We're more like brothers and sisters than aunts, nieces, and nephews. Yeah, though I am doing all of this bitching and making known my up-sets, it doesn't really matter how I feel. I think the worst part of it was during the family pictures when Mom, Mark, Maria, and their dad (Mom's "X") sat on the same couch together. I sure as hell didn't take a picture. I mean, where was our Dad? They sure as fuck didn't invite him! Damn it why does every body have to be so dramatic...Including my Oscar-winning self.
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