Native American (Indian) History Class

First off, GOD I am TIRED! ...But it's a GOOD tired.

Okay, so I get to class, right and first seat I came across was next to this old man. I figure, one seat is as good as another, right?

So I drag my "rollingbook-bag" (which weighs about 5 tons due to all the shit in it...JUST IN CASE!) and situate myself.
I wonder why only this old man is sitting at this row? Hmmm...

I start taking out all of my shit and getting "prepared," you know: class book, binder (which also has everything under the sun in it JUST IN CASE [it's that damn obsessive compulsive shit, I tell ya], and I start looking for my digital tape recorder before the professor starts the lecture.


MY PROFESSOR:

This man in probably in his early 60's (and I AM being nice) and has something wrong with his leg (or something). He walks with crutches because he said he 'refuses to use a walker.' Okay, even though a walker doesn't usually fall when you stop and try to pass out hand-outs AND there are those little "things" that hook in the front of a walker which allows you to carry shit without dropping all of it or something else...but HE doesn't want to "look" old. Okay...
well, it's kinda hard not too when you have WHITE hair. I can only describe it as something close to a bulls-eye. He did have hair all around his head...From ear to ear (about two inches in height)! Then there was nothing on the top except, what I swear was fashionshed just like a vanilla cone leaning slightly towards the right. The man reminded me of (okay, here I go trying to spell something I have no idea of how to spell) Orville Redenbacher...You know, the pop-corn guy...Yup, that's him.
Then there was a matter of his speech. He has a very noticeable lisp and tries very hard to cover it up. Plus, he speaks like he's Ben Stein from F. B.'s Day Off. LOL...What can I say...The man is hysterical.
This should prove rather interesting through-out the course...Seeing as it will be great to hear him try to pronounce all of these Indian words. Yes, I said Indian!

(Tangent Time)

First of all, I AM NOT prejudice...I hate EVERYONE including white people like myself.
Second, if you don't believe I'm not prejudice then you can speak with some of my X's: La Shawn, Tishomingo....(there are more but I won't bore you...And I'll let you figure out who was black and who was Indian [feather not dot])
Third, I dated my one X who was a Creek/Sioux for years. They don't appreciate either name we give them. Because Indians was given to them by Columbus because he was a very famous dumb-ass ("Oops this doesn't look like India but, what the hell...Let's call them Indians anyway!") And they aren't too fond of being called Native Americans either. Yeah, they were here first but, they didn't name this land "America" and they already had names for themselves as in different tribes and clans.
SO...What they prefer is for people to just be people and ask them about their tribe and not try to be so DAMN PC!
Honestly, do we call them Native Asians or Native Europeans? I think they would get pissy if we fucked up "what" they were or didn't give a shit "where" they were from....


Okay, better...


So, I'm unpacking my "shit" and the old guy next to me says,
"You've really got it together, don't you?"

I giggled and thought he was making fun of the fact that I have everything with me from: Anti-bacterial wipes to a mini-stapler and a hole punch to an umbrella and lab coat.

"Yeah," hehehe "I don't want to be without something in an emergency."

It was then I noticed he was looking me up and down as if I were some prime-grade-A-meat and he was starving. Then, the old perve winked at me. HE WINKED AT ME!
I know, I know...He's just an old man.

Yeah right.

I promptly flipped closed all of my crap and moved to the back of the room and sat next to this nice young black girl. Who, by the way, laughed her ass off at me as I sat next to her.

"Did he give you the eye too?"

I looked at her and we both laughed. Damned old pervert!