Are you ready for a month from tomorrow?

Do you even know what that is? I KNOW that every female visiting this site is aware of that “special” date!

I thought I’d give the HEAD’S UP for the men out there. A month from tomorrow is: VALENTINE’S DAY!

(I can hear the gasps and the “so what’s”)

So what?

Well, you had better start thinking about it NOW man!

Here’s an idea: Why not take advantage of all the sales and specials going on right now with the “Valentine’s Day” stuff that can be seen at any store, right now? ...And not wait until the night before or (for most of you) the day of!

BRILLIANT!

That way, even if you forget next month, you can say…"Wait…."
And grab the (already wrapped, right? Right? Wrap that shit buddy!) present and give it to your dear lady…saying,...

“Would I forget something like that?” Huh-huh?! I promise, you’ll be rewarded far beyond your wildest dreams!



WARNING: Do not buy things that will perish between now and then!
SUCH AS:

1) Roses (real ones, silk ones don’t wilt dumb-ass but, she’ll like the real ones better)

2) a cat (bad idea if you’re planning on stuffing it in your closet for a month)

3) a dog (-see previous parenthesis-)

4) clothes or lingerie (if you get the wrong size…you are forever doomed and will NOT get laid [yeah, they won’t perish but, you will if you screw it up—just felt the need to warn you])

5) or any kind of candy that is subject to perishing.



IDEAS:

1) Diamonds (they ARE a girl’s best friend—no matter what she tells you and on a ring [such as engagement or promise type one] makes them even better)

2) a gift certificate for a professional massage (ya'll don't do it right or long enough...LOL, could be said about other things as well--for some of you)

3) her favorite chocolate (ask her now and WRITE IT THE FUCK DOWN so she will be surprised when you get her the right kind on February 14th)

4) take her to a Bed & Breakfast (see you can [and had better] make reservations now)

5) a gift certificate for some kind of pampering such as a manicure or hair cut (note: do not specify on the card b/c if you should IMPLY anything [such as, you need a new hair style] you could be in the shit house)

6) GIANT fuzzy teddy-bears (we know how much they cost and we don’t want a “cute little tiny one” we want the HUGE ones so we know you care)

7) or [the best idea, if you’re married with or without kids even] send her off shopping with some money and CLEAN THE DAMN HOUSE while she’s gone…when she walks in she’ll be putty in your hands! I SWEAR it!