Belt Buckle City

It was out to the Cowboy Bar again tonight. Yes, I stood in the corner with my friend and we practiced the steps we watched the old cow-polks do.

Men are funny things. You all go to bars to meet women. Okay, don't you all know that that's why America leads other nations in the STD department? Some of that shit, if it doesn't make the little man fall off, can make you blind! Most of them you can't even get rid of...Disgusting.
...And trust me, I've seen enough penises (peni ?) to be an expert!

I watched this guy on the dance floor all night. His dancing is best described as Beavis's "ass-spank dance." The climax was when he dropped into the splits and dry humped the floor.
Leaning over to my friend I said, "Well, he has to have some kind of talent...It's the only thing going for him."

Really, if you know you look like Forest Gump's retarded midget brother...You have to have a gimmick.

Unfortunately, he was laughed off the dance floor by the group of girls (skanks...Cough) he was trying to pick up.

Speaking of skanks...Uh-hum...I mean girls...The bar flies were swarming. It seemed like the more skin you had falling, spilling, bulging out of your jeans and shirt...The more drunk men were hitting on you.

It was embarrassing, so I tucked my left ass cheek back in my jeans. (Okay, so that didn't happen, but I had to spice it up some what)

Next time out...I'm getting on the dance floor...I think I've gotten the steps down. Ain't no way I'm getting a mullet though. All though, I hear Blog Ho has a crotch mullet...and that's just sexy!