S & M?

Yes, I know you're gay...thanks for sharing.

Whilst in class yesterday, this dyke (dike?) turns to me and introduces herself (it was her first day, she switched teachers so to speak, but was taking the same class...if that makes since).

"Hi, I'm (not her real name) Elaine, and by the way...I'm a Lesbian."

"K...I'm Devona and not gay." -I mean what the HELL are you supposed to say to that?

Yeah, I think that under our laws you are entitled to get your lovin' however best it floats your boat. That doesn't mean I approve or want to hear about it! I was some what of a fag hag in my younger days, really gay men just think I'm awesome. I'm their shopping buddy and someone they can tell their problems to who isn't like..."It's because you're gay."

So thinking I was maybe a bit rude (though not hardly), I decided to make a little more chit-chat...as to appear more friendly.

"So, does your woman go to college here?" -genuine question...see, I care.

Well, apparently, this is not a good question to ask and I got her gay-rights-activist-panties in a bunch. For now, she is explaining to me the difference between having a "woman" and having a "life partner." Excuse me, but this is Oklahoma and gays can't get married here (unless I heard differently about that vote)...so it makes them "girlfriend/girlfriend." Even still, if they could get married here...I'd call her your gay wife! Come on, you introduced yourself as gay (my bad, Lesbian...Man, am I going to have a test over the terms or some shit?) and then you go off on a tangent because I used the wrong term?! As you can imagine I became pissed off. I was just sitting there waiting for my gimp of a professor to arrived and this crotch-monkey has to get in my face about something that I don't give a DAMN about. So I went off.

I can't remember exactly what I said to her, but be assured it was very witty...well, maybe slightly anyway. I was just happy that she left for another table. God, get over yourself people! I don't care that you want to eat wild beaver, but as for me and my friends...we'll be heading out for some Long Johns. I don't think they should get any laws especially for them. Honestly! It's a sexual preference...just like this bitch kept yelling at me...so they admit that freely. With all the racism (which implies RACE...not sexual preference) who gives a shit about gays. They're wasting our lawyer's time. Bla bla bla...hate crimes, yeah I know, but the majority who commit hate crimes against gays...are gay. It's one of those "in the closet" type things.

My point, and I think I had one, is that I don't go around saying...

"Hi, I'm Devona...by the way, I'm a rider-not a ridee."

Hell, on second thought...maybe we all should make our sexual preferences known to whoever we meet. It might help more people come together and give us a wider range of choices.

"Hello, I'm Bob and I like to be tied up and whipped."

"Hello, I'm Jill and I like to tie men up and whip them."

...See instant match!

So from now on our greetings will consist of names and sexual preference...I mean, that's all anyone cares about anyway, right?