Big Harry Dildos of Clay!

Okay, so I'm a little bit disheartened (if that's a word).
I used to get about 90 hits a day. Used to being the key words here.
Now I'm only about 30-50 depending on my week.
What can I say, I'm an attention whore.

Mayhap it is my succumbing to the little "d" that I so loath.
Or maybe it's just that I say things like that and ya'll don't get it.
LOL, it's my hick accent isn't it?

Or could it be that the title of this blog implies a lot more HOT VAMPIRE ACTION!!

I'd be down with that. Oh, yeah....

One question though:
If you have a really hot vampire and he's putting the moves on you.
...Nibbling your neck and suckling your breasts...
If he's a vampire, he's technically dead.

Is it necrophilia?

How does blood get down there for an undead-hard-on-from-hell?

These are just questions I think of in my off time.



Now, on to the title of my post...

My best friend Tracy and I were always doing something dorky.
We were of course, the two biggest dorks in Shawnee for years.
Okay, well, maybe not the biggest dorks, but damn close.
Here's proof of our "Dorkdom":

My Dad tried several million times to get me into some type of extra-curricular activity.
It wasn't happening. I took swimming for a little while. Once I learned how to swim...well, why did I need to take more lessons?
He took me to gymnastics once and I never went back. Lets get this straight, I don't do tights and spandex [...anywhere but the bed room (and then only on special occasions)].
We had an ugly piano he tried to make us learn how to play.
Then there was the keyboards. Nope, still not a go.

Well, then one idea kinda took...kinda.
Though, probably not how he intended it.
He took us to a lady who makes and paints pottery and little ceramic cats and things.
I took a few lessons from her and that was it.
I must say that I learned what I felt like I needed and then I was done with it.
But...I was really into the paint thing.

Then my Dad thought, "Why don't you paint what you SCULPT?"
BRILLIANT!!
I was then introduced to several varieties of clay and mediums.

Well, you know you can only sculpt so many things before they get boring.
So with my best friend, a tub of clay, some paint, and some teenage know how we went out to make our mark in the art world!!

So what did we make?
I made a tiny penis paper weight.
Tracy made a nice take off of a doggy dropping.
I think there was some badly done ash trays and a crappy coffee mug.

That penis was wonderful though.
We kept it in my sock drawer.
If was great for tormenting people with.
And some times we just laughed that we'd made and painted a penis.
It even had pubes!

I wish I still had that tiny penis.
It's proof that it's not the size that matters, but the memories that lie within.