It Smells Like Rain Today

Mmmm...I love the rain!
Yet, it's just cold enough to make it not quite as enjoyable. I've had the windows cracked for an hour but, it's 37* outside and my piggies are already getting cold.

I talked on the phone with a friend yesterday. We did our usuall thing and bitched about things going on right now. LOL...It must be a woman thing. And we got on the subject of family. She said her younger brother's girlfriend is pregnant. So I asked if it was a good thing b/c the tone she used didn't sound as if she was happy.

"All we can do is just be supportive at this point."--my friend said

Turns out that he's a recovering addict and is in rehab for alcoholism right now as we speak. I do feel for her. I suppose I should feel for her brother too but, I don't.

Yeah, I'm a bitch.

I have a brother who is an addict/alcoholic/Satanist and is proud of it. He's not allowed to be around my kids much...And I don't go visit him. I don't want to have to explain to my children why "Uncle Crack-Head" is slurring his speech or hitting on their Aunt Smokey Smurf (Yes, we know it's disgusting but, that's what happens when he drinks).

So my friend and I were comparing notes. I know that most people believe alcoholism is a disease but, it's not. It's an addiction. No one forces you to take that first drink...peer-pressure is BS. I had peer-pressure and a lot of it but, I did what I wanted to do whether it be what my friends thought was or wasn't cool.
They don't consider heroine addictions a disease...Even though that one is much harder to break and more devastating. An addict is an addict is an addict. I have seen way to many of them working in hospitals. It's all the same. There are just different degrees of devastation. They waste away their lives in order to feed their addiction and it's the only thing that matters to them.
It can even screw up their minds...I know my brother's is. I know I kinda joke about it but, I swear Crack-Head is possessed! Or at least he has a split personality and it is Satan. His eyes change and he is just different...As in that "not my brother" different. It makes the hair on the back of you neck stand up. I used to stop by his place before I had my kids. It was so uncomfortable to be there. He kept all of his Satanist/BS every where. Crack-Head even had a couple of small alters about the place for when he had to bleed himself for some kind of spell. Man, you just DO NOT FUCK AROUND WITH THAT SHIT! So when I say he's possessed I mean it and I am not the only one in my family who feels this way.

You see a disease is something you don't have much control over and it may or may not have a cure. It's something that starts inside and moves out as it spreads it's disease.

An addiction is something that you do have control over in the beginning. You don't have to take the first drink, first hit, or bump...Or whatever. You don't have to take the 2nd or 30th or 100th time either. There is still some control you have over it but, let's face it by that point you just don't want to, don't care, or feel as if you have no control. Because any addiction leads to depression which numbs your will-power. An addiction starts on the outside and inside. The drugs or alcohol have to be ingested but, something isn't right on the inside for you to be wanting or trying them in the first place. But there is always a cure for this--be it hard or not, there is a cure.

I used to be a pot head and I drank and I still have a drink every now and then...Like a few times a year. But, I know I have addictive tendencies and that is why I choose not to do certain things. Pot wasn't really hard to give up; it was just a question of priorities and morals. I've never had to give up drinking b/c I have known too many drunks even as a teenager and I swore to never allow myself to become a drunk. EVER! That is why I only drink a few times a year or on occasion I have a wine cooler before bed.

It tastes good and it's legal...So beware!

Okay, so that's my rant. It is just my opinion but, it's a damn good one, LOL.

What I just do not understand is why people, like my brother, think that others will only like them if they're drunk?
Excuse me but, no one likes you when you ARE drunk either!