"All My X-es Live In Texas"

Well, not really. Especially seeing as how I've only been there a few times and mostly on my way through the state.

It's a funny thing about relationships. Everyone has their problems and baggage. Everyone has fights, be they big or small, arguments or disagreements...We all have them.

I have struggled to leave this one particular dip-shit behind. We fought all the time. I threw his ass into the privacy fence at the duplex and broke a plank with him. LOL, so we fought. Did I mention I have a little bit of a temper? I broke his TV once and the phone. Ah, good times good times.
Let me clarify that it was all for a very good cause mind you. I'm not one to just start throwing and breaking things. You have to cross a line, a very thick unwavering line.
I think this asshole liked to set me off.

Let me give you the rules in which I use to break up with you and that will set me over the edge:

1) Thou shalt not sleep with other women
-it's pretty self-explanatory, or so I thought
-once you have done this I am free to play the field as well
-I'm loyal as long as you are

2) Thou shalt not compare me to another woman
-again, pretty self-explanatory
-if you want them so much you can go back to them
-I change for no man

3) Thou shalt not call me the "B" word
-only my little sister and my closest girl friends are allowed
-I don't slap; I will deck you for it

4) Thou shalt not imply that I am stupid
-Ever
-EVER

5) Thou had best be (damn) good in bed for me to take you back
-okay, so this doesn't have anything to do with breaking up
-yet, it does
-you will further set me off by begging (depending on how you beg)

I thought that after the stalking and the threats on my best-friend's life I was away from this bastard. Yeah, I thought.

I hear from my best-friend (who he threatened to kill, by the way-the psycho) a few weeks ago that she saw him. It was with much satisfaction that she informed me he was with a really fat ugly chick and had gotten fat himself. So there is the good news.

The bad news: My little sister called me this morning to ask me if I knew a Tammika. Tammika from Shawnee who worked at the only Burger King in that town. Uhm, yeah I knew her as it was where my X, Tishomingo worked. GOD, my fingers just cringed from typing that.

Back in those days I was a pot-head and Tish sold to the manager of that place. Man people are so stupid. Anyway, I went there all the time when we were dating. And this girl Tammika was a skank! OH, yeah...How she has any self-respect for herself I will never know.

My little sister, Smokey Smurf, is now working with her at a nursing home in Noble. She politely informed Tammika that I am not with Tish any longer. Tammika was surprised because Tishomingo, she said, was really in love with me. Yeah, if you call stalking love.

I kinda wish I could see him one last time so I could bitch-slap him. Then I'd tell him he should've off'd himself like he kept threatening to do. I said it then when he kept calling my work and harassing me and I'll say it now..."Do it bastard so I can go on with my life!"

...Hum, that's not wrong is it?