Buckle Up...IT'S THE LAW!!

Okay, where to even start…

This semester I have had to learn to brave rush hour traffic. All of my other classes have been later in the evening. Also, I HATE HIGHWAYS!!! I can’t stress this point enough.

I grew up in Shawnee, Oklahoma. It doesn’t have highways that go through it…they go around it. Why? Because it’s the fucking black hole of Oklahoma, that’s why.

Bitter?

Yes.

So…I have learned the back roads of red man’s land. I know them, I love them, I drive them when ever I can.

Unfortunately I have to use part of a small highway to get to college on time as to not piss off my professors. No biggy. I just make sure to take as many back roads as possible before I get on it.

Well, it worked fine up until now…four weeks from the end of school! You see the Spandex Kings think that rush hour traffic is a good time to hop on their little bicycles and peddle 15 mph along my favorite route. The bastards!

Being the good natured (cough) person that I am…I changed my route. ~For Them!!~

Well, today as I am driving down my “new route” I get stuck behind “Ma” from The Golden Girls. Really…if you have to have a booster seat to drive and you STILL can’t see over the dash then it’s time to give it up!

The speed limit sign says 50 mph. I guess in geriatric that means “we can’t go over 35 mph.” And the purple haired bitch kept hitting the breaks.

AHHHHHH!!!!

Bitch! I have to be on time to take my freakin’ test! This is college…there are no make up tests and if you are late on test day…then you miss the test.

So, we’re going fifteen…then hit the breaks…up to 30…then hit the breaks…25…and she slammed on the breaks. I hit mine and barely missed the Depends Queen and thankfully the guy behind me was paying attention. He slammed on his brakes, locking them and veered off in the small ditch and was hit by the guy behind him.

Why did the Bi-focal goddess slam on her breaks?

To miss a fucking wiener dog!!!

I’d so have run the fuck over that dog…Matter of fact…Who’s up for some Chinese?