Un-Bear-Able

I can’t even think about the future at this point. I’m ready for a break, but I’m not sure if it is a break from school I need…or a break from life. I’m not really depressed. As a matter of fact…I’m not really anything at the moment. I’ve got finals coming up. There are a lot of essays and papers and projects that must be done in about two weeks. I guess my brain shut off.
…Or as they say, “My give-a-damn is broken.”
I’d been stressing so badly that my daughter was feeling the effects of it all. The last two days she had crying spells. She’s not five yet and was having crying spells!! I asked her what was wrong, but she only said that she was “just sad.”
So…we spent some Mom and daughter time. I took her to the car wash and sprayed her a few times and then out for some ice cream. Now it is sure to storm a giant-mutha-fucking storm because I WASHED THE CAR! Since I’ve been driving it I have not washed it until now. Wow, it looks good with all of that orange/red dirt off of it!

…I have nothing witty or interesting to talk about. It’s like my muse has run-a-way. I guess even muses get tired of people’s pissing and moaning.

So, I’ll tell you a story:

Once upon a time, in a land far away there were three bears. (No, this isn’t the “Goldie Locks Story.” Although, she may make a guest appearance. Now shut the fuck up and listen!!)
The three bears had been friends for many years. Evne before they were born their parents had been friends…maybe, a little too close of friends. After all this is the bear kingdom and there is no such thing as incest. What did it matter if they had an Uncle Daddy?

When the bears were old enough they moved out of their own and promised to keep in touch.

Years went by and the three of them decided to take a vacation with each other and catch up.

The first bear to arrive was stilling living in their home town and was the same as he always was. So he sat down at the bar and ordered a drink…

“Labatt Blue, please.”

About 20 minutes go by and the second bear shows up. The first bear is surprised to see that his old friend is wearing a tutu and balancing a ball on her nose.

“Wow! Look at you!”

“I’m a circus bear now…do you like my trick? I can also ride a little unicycle and little kids feed me peanut butter.”

While they were talking, the third bear showed up. The other two bears were really surprised when they realized he was wearing a leather collar and was sipping a large latte.

“What happened to you?”

“I’m in show business. I work for Discovery and for Hollywood when they need bears to act in their movies. I look fucking scary on film!”…sip!

So the second and third bear start a long conversation about their wonderful carriers. They compared live performance to movie acting. After a while they looked at the first bear, who had said nothing.

“So, what have you done with your life?”

“Well,” He said, “I don’t fancy having balls on my nose or parading around in a skirt. I don’t act for Hollywood or wear collars.”

“So what do you do then?”

“I take pictures of trees in questionable poses and put them on the internet. Some weird fuck has been posting them on his blog.”


Sorry, Goldie Locks wanted too much money to make an appearance…maybe, next time.