Thursday, June 16, 2005

Fasted Draw in the West

Men like Westerns. My husband, being male, also likes them.

Have any of us women ever stopped and wondered why?

Well, last night (after a couple of drinks and a flexoril [sp?]) I pondered said question.

My husband was watching that sad sad excuse for a western...I can't even recall the name as it was traumatic for me. You probably know which one I am talking about. Let me name some of the cast for you, shall I?

Russell Crow (yup, you know it's a winner now...oops, let me just wipe up this puddle of sarcasm)
Leonardo De'Crap'prio (yet, another winner...now I shall have to get the mop)
~and I think her name is~
Sharon Stone

I've done my best as one of the female species to try and avoid all possible screenings of Westerns &/or Military movies.

I've done well ladies.

Now as a child I was forced by my father to endure such movies. Especially the damn military movies...I hate military movies. It was all I could do to watch "Saving Private Ryan" and I only watched it because of Tom Hanks.

I don't even like the movie "Stripes" and it was a comedy...a bad comedy.

I will admit to only two westerns I have watched and liked: "True Grit" and "Two Mules For Sister Sara." That knowledge floored my husband.

So as I am forced to watch the western or go to bed I sat there, studying the movie.

So, let's examine this for a moment.

We first have to ask us what appeals to men about a western.
That seems rather simple: guns and loose women in bars.
Meow
"Hey, Miss Kitty."

Second, what does it mean to be "the fasted draw in the West?"

Let us examine this also.

To be a gun fighter you have to be able to draw the fastest.
Which is the first person to grab their gun and shoot it.
I get it.

1) reach down
2) grab gun
3) shoot gun
4) get the woman

As I sat on the couch and was running all of this through my mind, it hit me.
I started laughing hysterically.

Men like Westerns because they can relate.
I mean, look at "The Basket Ball Diaries."
It's all about who can grab it the fastest and shoot.

I knew there was an underlying reason why I have always hated Westerns...