Honestly Horny

Have you ever had a friend who you only kept as a friend because you find yourself far away from your old friends?
…Because when you go from having a huge group of people to keep you company all the time to like three who live close enough to you to hang out?
…And you decide not to be too picky?
…So you hang on to what you’ve got?

Again, I have to say because of my personality, I attract the weird and the strange.
…Though not as much as my little sister, Smokey Smurf.
Who was once chased by a retard girl yelling, “Here kitty kitty kitty…”
Who hung out with a guy whose nick name was “Gumby.”
(…okay, so maybe JUST I called him that, but whatever…the bastard! [lol])

I was born in Paul’s Valley and raised in Shawnee.
Of course that meant that all of my friends were there.
My one best friend, Jeremy, I’ve known since pre-school.
My other best friend Tracy, I’ve known her since the third grade.
I’m twenty-six and we still talk and see each other from time to time as life permits.

When I moved up to Norman to live with my husband, I left most of everybody.
At first family was enough for me because they had all previously moved up to Norman.
But, well…that’s complicated and I wanted my own friends.
…Who lived close by.
But, the only co-worker I liked was gay and you can only go to the Copa and be picked up on by lesbian dikes so many times before you become self-conscious. I’ve been a fag hag before, but well, I wanted girl friends to look at hot men with.
I don’t know, ya know?

Then after I had my daughter and started a new job I found that as soon as you mention “kids” people act as if you are a 16 year old trying to get into a 21 and up bar and doing a piss poor job of pulling off “the older” thing.

My favorite line is, “Oh, well that’s alright I’m sorry you can’t come with us then.”

Excuse me??!

So I have kids…
That doesn’t meant I can’t get a baby-sitter.
What the HELL!
It must just be my age group…the bastards.

Then when I started college I thought, “great I’ll meet lots of people now.”

No such luck.
It was the same thing.
Only now it was a bunch of “just out of highschool kids” who were like, “Like, like, so what are you like DOing later? We’re like going to go DANcing, or something.”

“Let me call my husband and see if he can watch the kids or I'll call…”

“Oh, what a Bummer. Well, I’ll see you next Thursday then.”

I’m still the same me.
I may have grown as a person, as a woman, as a mother, but it’s still me.
I still like to go ghost hunting.
I still like to sing in my car.
I still like to tease people.
I still like to have fun.

I just have other priorities now.
It’s not about me anymore.
It’s about them, my children.

So, if you don’t want to be friends with my children…
Then I don’t want to be friends with you.
Period.

Friend means something special to me.
I’m old school when it’s about my friends.