"Beware the Full Moon"
It’s a full moon out tonight. Maybe that’s the problem. Some may say that is just superstitious BS, but let me tell you, I’ve worked in Hospitals and Nursing Homes long enough to know to “Beware the Full Moon.”
Hmm…my fingers need to type and I am not sure what will flow out of them. It was not my intention to be online tonight, but here I am. My name is Devona, well, Teri Devona, but Teri is also my father’s and my brother’s first name, both having the middle initial D. Suffice it to say, I have gone by Devona as long as I can remember. Devona means brave. Am I brave, well, some think so, but I’m more of a protector by my standards. I don’t consider myself brave. At all, but I know people who would argue. (shrugging shoulders)
I am who I am. I know me. That is one of my only redeeming qualities. I can’t be anybody else, although it’s nice to dream some times. But then you wake up and realize that what you and I consider perfect is somebody-else’s hell. It is also true what they say about the garbage thing…”One man’s garbage is another man’s treasure.” We can never fully see through some one else’s eyes. It’s a shame. A shame, because if we saw ourselves the way others see us some of us would be more self-confident…while others would have to stop being so high and mighty.
The last three months have been a struggle, to say the least. If it had not been for my “true family” we wouldn’t have been able to make it. Before I started this blog I wrote in my journal. I have kept a journal since high-school and am kicking myself for destroying my old ones. At the time, I felt it was a fitting end to some of my past hells and yet I am mourning their loss. We must learn from our mistakes. I hold this truth close to my heart because, I can always find new and unusual ways to fuck things up. It’s one of my more enduring qualities. (evil grin)
A little over a year ago I got my GED and started college a few months later. I tried working at a small hospital part-time (nights) but it was too much. My husband and I decided for me to just stay home so I could focus on family and school. Then about January or February (I can’t remember now) my husbands business was shut down. We had some money saved up—Thank God—and were able to live off of my house cleaning money and the money he got from small tasks through an agency. Well, he finally got a job full-time, but we had used up all of our savings. What is really crazy is that we made only $100 too much a year to get food stamps. I’ll let you all do the math.
We are finally at the end of what has been an endless desert of worry and strife.
I guess this was all just to test my determination or something along those lines as far as school goes. What ever the reason…I hope I have proved myself. I hope I have let no one down.
Hmm…my fingers need to type and I am not sure what will flow out of them. It was not my intention to be online tonight, but here I am. My name is Devona, well, Teri Devona, but Teri is also my father’s and my brother’s first name, both having the middle initial D. Suffice it to say, I have gone by Devona as long as I can remember. Devona means brave. Am I brave, well, some think so, but I’m more of a protector by my standards. I don’t consider myself brave. At all, but I know people who would argue. (shrugging shoulders)
I am who I am. I know me. That is one of my only redeeming qualities. I can’t be anybody else, although it’s nice to dream some times. But then you wake up and realize that what you and I consider perfect is somebody-else’s hell. It is also true what they say about the garbage thing…”One man’s garbage is another man’s treasure.” We can never fully see through some one else’s eyes. It’s a shame. A shame, because if we saw ourselves the way others see us some of us would be more self-confident…while others would have to stop being so high and mighty.
The last three months have been a struggle, to say the least. If it had not been for my “true family” we wouldn’t have been able to make it. Before I started this blog I wrote in my journal. I have kept a journal since high-school and am kicking myself for destroying my old ones. At the time, I felt it was a fitting end to some of my past hells and yet I am mourning their loss. We must learn from our mistakes. I hold this truth close to my heart because, I can always find new and unusual ways to fuck things up. It’s one of my more enduring qualities. (evil grin)
A little over a year ago I got my GED and started college a few months later. I tried working at a small hospital part-time (nights) but it was too much. My husband and I decided for me to just stay home so I could focus on family and school. Then about January or February (I can’t remember now) my husbands business was shut down. We had some money saved up—Thank God—and were able to live off of my house cleaning money and the money he got from small tasks through an agency. Well, he finally got a job full-time, but we had used up all of our savings. What is really crazy is that we made only $100 too much a year to get food stamps. I’ll let you all do the math.
We are finally at the end of what has been an endless desert of worry and strife.
I guess this was all just to test my determination or something along those lines as far as school goes. What ever the reason…I hope I have proved myself. I hope I have let no one down.
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