She Was Brave

She woke up in a cold sweat and reached for the night light. It was three in the morning. Traci

rolled over and looked at her husband of seven years. Don was sound asleep and snoring as

always. She found her slippers and robe and went down stairs for a drink. Maybe she was

turning into an alcoholic? The last few weeks Traci found herself awake and alone in the early

morning hours with a glass of wine. Her friends told her there wasn’t anything wrong with

having a glass of wine to put herself back to sleep. But Traci knew better. She had never liked

to drink before.

This was not the life she had envisioned for herself when she had gotten

married. She had two beautiful children and a husband. Yet, she was always alone.

With a heavy sigh, she walked out onto the patio. The night was beautiful! That was the one

saving grace in her lonely existence; the nights in the country were welcoming. Especially in

the fall with the moon shining over the amber colored leaves; the yard was a masterpiece of

silvers and golds and coppers. Mother Nature was at her finest and surely God had made this

place just for her. The night brought her peace like nothing else could. It was her very own

little piece of heaven. And yet, it wasn’t heaven while she stood there alone. Traci looked up at

the sliver blue moon and let out her breath in exasperation.

I’m so lonely. Isn’t there anybody

out there who will take me away from this humiliating existence!

It was a silent plea she

found that she was unable to keep from thinking when she woke in the night. Someone was out

there for her. She would wait until her husband got his new job and the pressure was off of him

and then tell him it was over. She just couldn’t live this way. It wasn’t in her heart to be selfish

and demand a lot from him. She just wanted what she thought she and her children needed.

Traci wanted better for her children than a father who worked and went to bed. Sometimes

she wandered if he was being unfaithful to her. They hadn’t been intimate in any way for

months.

He worked for the government. Doing what, hell, she didn’t know? Don had worked

very hard to get where he was now, but the sacrifices didn’t justify the means. To Traci, they

didn’t, anyway. Their life didn’t use to be like this. Every time she brought up the subject he

told her she was just being paranoid and should stop worrying about those things. But

something wouldn’t quit gnawing at her and she learned very young to listen to her inner

warning system. That same feeling had kept her alive and many of her patients as well.