WEEKEND ASTROLOGY!! (the day late version)

CANCER (June 22-July 22)-
Happy Birthday Cancers! Let’s
get wild and crazy!

LEO (July 23-August 22, 23)-
You better start reminding
everyone about your up-coming
birthday. As if anyone would…
COULD forget with you around.
(lol)

VIRGO (August 23, 24-September 22, 23)-
Your wife is happy. So you can relax some
this weekend. But first…I have a few things
I need you to do real quick…

LIBRA (September 23, 24-October 22, 23)-
Your work is never done. Know that after
this weekend you must relax and not lift a
finger for three weeks until school starts.

SCORPIO (October 23, 24-November 22)-
You’re going to have to wait for the rash
to go away. So, no sex this weekend. It
should be gone by next weekend though.

SAGITTARIUS (November 23-December 21, 23)-
“Head out on the highway…” This is a great
weekend for you to consider going on a road
trip. But, don’t go too far! Gas is expensive.

CAPRICORN (December 22, 24-January 20)-
Make a date with a Sagittarius this weekend.
A road trip is the way to go.

AQUARIUS (January 21-February 19)-
You too….
Road trip!
And you can only pack one suit case.
Sheesh! You won’t need 8 extra pairs
of underware. I promise…

PISCES (February 20-March 20)-
Relax this weekend and try to put
last weekend out of your mind.


ARIES (March 21-April 20)-
Being around people may be
a bad thing today. Stay home
and get drunk instead.

TAURUS (April 21-May 20, 21)-
We know how you love to clean,
but when you start thinking about
waxing the wall…
Well, it’s time to put it down.

GEMINI (May 21, 22-June 21)-
Those new pills aren’t working
out for you. Make an appointment
to see you’re doctor first thing
Monday. Yes, you really do
need them.