"The ANT Lion Wars"
Did anyone else besides me and my siblings play with ant lions when you were young?
I remember it well. Smokey Smurf, Crack-head (my addict brother…you know the one who got $5 to let another man suck his twig), and myself played outside a lot. As in… “the parents didn’t want us inside causing problems.” So, we were outside in the back yard from sun rise to sun set.
Our garage was located inside our back yard…which was okay considering that no one parked cars in it. My Dad had turned it into a Dojo (sp?) because he worked out for hours after he got home from work. He used to teach martial arts in Illinois.
We had a cellar in the back yard as well. God, we played in that thing all the time…even with the spiders and other creepers everywhere (it’s Oklahoma…you have to have a cellar if you want to survive tornado season).
And we had a club-house-type-thingy. It…uh…well, you see my dad fancied himself “the builder” and threw a couple of pieces of wood together and some bigger pieces of wood on top of that. It was actually okay. Underneath the “club house” was a sand pit. Now we played more in that damn thing than in the upper level. The upper level was actually more of a resort for our friends when they came over. None of them fancied the “sand pit” as it was crawling with spiders and other bugs…this is probably the source of my “insect/spider phobia” (I’ll have to remember to mention that to the shrink should it be necessary to convince a jury that I am, indeed, crazy).
Now when you come from a large family, as I did, you learn to entertain yourself. Especially if you don’t know what is going to get you in trouble from day to day. Yes, outside was best. And we liked to have wars and build sand castles in the “pit.”
I had my Thunder Cat toys and some Ninja Turtles and a few of those “muscle men” (if anyone remembers those…slip me some skin, man).
I remember it well. Smokey Smurf, Crack-head (my addict brother…you know the one who got $5 to let another man suck his twig), and myself played outside a lot. As in… “the parents didn’t want us inside causing problems.” So, we were outside in the back yard from sun rise to sun set.
Our garage was located inside our back yard…which was okay considering that no one parked cars in it. My Dad had turned it into a Dojo (sp?) because he worked out for hours after he got home from work. He used to teach martial arts in Illinois.
We had a cellar in the back yard as well. God, we played in that thing all the time…even with the spiders and other creepers everywhere (it’s Oklahoma…you have to have a cellar if you want to survive tornado season).
And we had a club-house-type-thingy. It…uh…well, you see my dad fancied himself “the builder” and threw a couple of pieces of wood together and some bigger pieces of wood on top of that. It was actually okay. Underneath the “club house” was a sand pit. Now we played more in that damn thing than in the upper level. The upper level was actually more of a resort for our friends when they came over. None of them fancied the “sand pit” as it was crawling with spiders and other bugs…this is probably the source of my “insect/spider phobia” (I’ll have to remember to mention that to the shrink should it be necessary to convince a jury that I am, indeed, crazy).
Now when you come from a large family, as I did, you learn to entertain yourself. Especially if you don’t know what is going to get you in trouble from day to day. Yes, outside was best. And we liked to have wars and build sand castles in the “pit.”
I had my Thunder Cat toys and some Ninja Turtles and a few of those “muscle men” (if anyone remembers those…slip me some skin, man).
Smokey Smurf had some “muscle men” as well and her smurfs and Barbies.
Crack-head had some GI Joe and some Thunder Cats and I can’t remember what else…I think some Star Wars figures.
So we each went about building our little castles at different junctions in the sand pit and the game began. Let me say that my Thunder Cats were mighty and it usually took an alliance of the Smurf kingdom and the Dark kingdom to defeat them. (Bastards…always ganging up on me)
One day…and I don’t remember what day it was…I’m getting old alright. We were in the midst of battle and one of us screamed (and not a bloody death or battle cry of the game…and it could have been anyone of us as we [even crack-head] could scream bloody murder). After the moment of hysteria passed we see this weird creature in the sand. And just like a bunch of kids…we ran like a crack-whore from her pimp.
My oldest brother (we’ll call him) Narc (LOL), came to see what was wrong and why we had disturbed the peaceful quietness of the inside world with shrieks and tears. It was then he informed us that it was an “ant lion” and showed us how to find where they lived so we could steer clear of them in the future.
Well, that should be where it ended but, we are a sick and twisted lot so…no. Crack-head sparked an idea…Our kingdoms would draw up a peace treaty and we should set about building an arena. I mean, the Romans had “lion matches” right…so same thing… “ant lion matches.”
So off to the sand pit we raced to build our arena and Crack-head went to get some “ant lion cages” (which looked surprisingly like Dixie bathroom cups). This was the start of the “ant lion wars.” We would dig them out of their den and force them to fight for the amusement of the three kingdoms.
Ah…good time, good times…
So we each went about building our little castles at different junctions in the sand pit and the game began. Let me say that my Thunder Cats were mighty and it usually took an alliance of the Smurf kingdom and the Dark kingdom to defeat them. (Bastards…always ganging up on me)
One day…and I don’t remember what day it was…I’m getting old alright. We were in the midst of battle and one of us screamed (and not a bloody death or battle cry of the game…and it could have been anyone of us as we [even crack-head] could scream bloody murder). After the moment of hysteria passed we see this weird creature in the sand. And just like a bunch of kids…we ran like a crack-whore from her pimp.
My oldest brother (we’ll call him) Narc (LOL), came to see what was wrong and why we had disturbed the peaceful quietness of the inside world with shrieks and tears. It was then he informed us that it was an “ant lion” and showed us how to find where they lived so we could steer clear of them in the future.
Well, that should be where it ended but, we are a sick and twisted lot so…no. Crack-head sparked an idea…Our kingdoms would draw up a peace treaty and we should set about building an arena. I mean, the Romans had “lion matches” right…so same thing… “ant lion matches.”
So off to the sand pit we raced to build our arena and Crack-head went to get some “ant lion cages” (which looked surprisingly like Dixie bathroom cups). This was the start of the “ant lion wars.” We would dig them out of their den and force them to fight for the amusement of the three kingdoms.
Ah…good time, good times…
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