Yeah, if there was a "dork test" I'd fail it...badly.

I'll admit getting into some trouble now and again when I was going through "teenager-hell." Yet, I was also pretty good I think for some of the people I hung out with. None of us carried guns and we really didn't drink (very often or much...Cheap drunks) and though we smoked some pot here and there...We weren't those kids who they do the commercials about.

My best-friend, Tracy and I for example.

It wasn't until like the 3rd grade or something (God it seems like we've always been friends but, I was a grade older than her and we sort of remember hating each other for a time) that we became inseparable. She was ALWAYS over and my parents even let her stay the night on weekdays.

We were outside playing volley-ball until 2-3 am sometimes. Other times we snuck out at her house to go walking the four or so blocks to my friend Jeremy's house. The thing about that was that there was a "town curfew" put into effect about the time we were old enough to wander around by ourselves. It sucked! We had to be in our own yard by midnight during the week and by 1am during the weekend. So had we got caught (which thankfully never happened) it would've been something like a $500 fine for each of us.

We had a really close call the one night.

We were at her house for the night. Which was unusual because we were usually at mine but, every now and then her mom would get hair up her butt and want her to be "home." (Not that is was much of one but, neither was mine...If ya know what I mean.) Well, her mom, her mom's boyfriend, and their roommate decided last minute to go out that night and probably woudn't be back till the next day sometime. (See what I mean.) So we had the whole place to ourselves and her dog Missy.

Fade to next scene...

We're on the front porch from like 6 that evening to about 1 or so in the am. We thought we were "the Shiznit!"

We had the big boom-box "tape player" out on the front porch with us with EZE in the tape deck. And being the "good girls" we were, we had it playing pretty quiet as not to disturb anybody while we ate our sunflower seeds. (cough-dorks-cough)

Ah, I remember the lyrics to our favorite song:

"In some pussy is the place to be...
"Always fucking is the life for me...
"Spreadin' those legs out far and wide...
"Somethin' somethin'...Just let me put my dick inside."

(Yup you guessed it, it was a take off melody of "Green Acres.")

Also, another favorite was, "Give me that nut."

Well, there was a small park next to this Church which was right across the street. And after listening to "thought provoking music" for a while...We decided we wanted to go swing, screw the curfew...After all we were home alone anyway.

So, we're up there swinging and having a grand ol' time...Talking and laughing (quietly, b/c we may have been dorks but we weren't complete idiots...Most of the time).

What's that noise? Damn it's a car!

Okay, well it's also a town rule that you are not to be in a park after dark. Shit!

So we jumped off the swings and hid flat on the ground behind this concrete barrier between us and were the "cops" parked on the Church parking lot. We knew it was the cops b/c we could see the light attachments on the car from where we were laying. Which scared the HELL out of us so we flattened out faces to the ground and waited.

And waited...

And waited...

"Devon-o, take a peek and see if he's still there."

"Hell, no...You do it."

(quiet giggling)

"Okay, we'll both look...One, two, three..."

....

"Hey, you didn't look."

"So, you didn't either."

(more quiet giggling)

Then, thank God, we heard the cop pull away. Yet, we stayed there for a little while longer...Just to be absolutely sure they were gone.

And we got up, brushed off the grass and sand and dirt and leaves and nasty stuff that we'd been laying in for over an hour...And as we walked across the street we laughed our assess off. But, we stayed on the porch until we decided to go to bed not wanting to venture off to the park and chance getting caught.

Ah, the good ol' days....