Hot Lesbian Action!!!

~not really~

...Actually, the only lesbian in this story is more like a Dyke (dike?)...

Anyway, I have these annoyances. I was taught not to smack my lips while eating or chewing gum. It's like finger nails dragging across a chalk board. All of my energy is used up when I have to keep from popping my kids across the back of their heads for doing this.

And I have no shame. So if I'm out somewhere and you're smacking you lips...I'm going to jump your ass about it. Yeah, it's my pet peeve.

As you may be thinking...This happened tonight..In one way or another.

You would be right! 1000 points...Except for Ho, he gets 1500 ;)

This bull-dog lesbian who smells like lysol sits a chair over from me. I have written about her before. I don't like her. Unfortunately, something about me must scream lesbian. It must be my up-front-don't-take-shit-off-of-any-body-blunt attitude. That doesn't make me gay, just...Jaded.

Anyway, she apparently has turrets and is half retarded. All during class...All I could freakin' hear was this smacking.

(Pretty Ain't She)

I felt like I was in some kind of sick Edgar Allen Poe poem. After a while I could handle it no more. I leaned over and asked (ask politely as possible) for her to close her mouth while chewing her cud. Really, the worst part of it was hearing her breathing hard while chomping away...I felt ill.

So, she stopped and after class she followed me to my car.

Great.

She was near tears and asked me why I was so intent on turning her down. What?!

I explained to her that she made my stomach turn...Not in the "love struck" sense but in the "I think I'm going to hurl" sense.

I'm going to have to send her to Ho's boot-camp for retards. (which is why he got the extra 500 points)


...LOL, I guess I didn't really have a point...