Weekend Astrology

As I look into my crystal ball I see...
Some stank man feet in the weekend forecast. Dang man, scrub that shit off!
Seek some guidance from your friendly (or overly friendly) Geminis around Saturday.
Happy Birthday Leo's!



Dude, I pulled the honey card out on the first draw. Spice it up with some Zesty Italian salad dressing. Mmmm...nothing is as sexy as a man in the kitchen cooking (did I mention you should try cooking nude...uhm, well, baking...not frying.)



It's okay. Everybody has known for a while and I think this weekend is the right time to come out. Man, everyone knows all male Libra's are gay. It's like science or something. DON'T ARGUE WITH MADAM BOABHAN! I know all. That and the moon is in the Uranus house over the weekend.



You must be stuck in an 80's time loop because I still see spandex in your weekend forecast. Damn, girl. Maybe you should check out the sex shops. Yes, I've just had a premonition of the best night of sex in your life and it revolves around lots of spandex. So it is said, so shall it be...



Yeah, that dick surgery is taking longer than you thought. Shouldn't have pissed her off and she wouldn't have "rubber banded" your dong. Try a strap on this weekend. This time it'll be you pretending to get off and not her.



I see a freak sex accident involving a foot and some weird toe STD in store for the weekend. Stay inside this weekend and don't think about sex. Don't think about sex. Don't think about sex.


A-Quar-I-us...Damn it that's the best song. I'll have to down load it off Kazaa. Nope, you're not getting laid this weekend unless you send me money. Email me for the detail ;)


I wonder if they need to change the name from Pisces to Pissies. LOL, doubt that will happen until 2303. Not that I had a vision or anything...
In other news: I'll be sending you an email with your cut of the money as soon as I hear from Aquarius. Damn they're so gullible, hehehe.



Oh, sweet, Lord...you've gotten even hotter! You will get a LOT of HOT booty this weekend. Call me!



My crystal ball is foggin up again...no wait, I see...
You smoking crack and sucking dick for your next fix. Damn man. *shaking head* You could've eaten me out for the money and now you're gay. This is not going to be your weekend.



Okay, so the shock therapy you tried only succeeded in singe-ing all of your body hair off. The shaved/bald look kinda suits you. Call your doctor today and ask about our new pill: Siykotrips. The only side effect is vaginal and dick bleeding but, you're not getting laid anyway...so why not?


Dude, this weekend you will be giving Blog Ho some cancer. I know, I know..."that's not a prediction." It's an order dumb-ass. I don't get any giant shlong until some one gives him cancer! After that I see you going to jail because apparently it's "illegal" to "give" people cancer. Maybe next weekend will be better.