She Was Brave (Part 11)

{Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, &10}

As Traci stepped off of the elevator she realized she still had that man’s jacket. She was glad. It seemed to emanate heat of its own accord.

“Oh, there you are, hun. I’ve been checking in on your daughter. She’s got some color back in her cheeks and her vitals are good. I’ve got to get ready for shift change but, I’ll see you again tonight.”

“Thank you very much and I’m sorry I was gone for so long. I guess I needed some air more than I thought.”

“You look like it did you some good. The doctors will be coming up to check on her in a few hours and I imagine they’ll want to talk with you. If you need anything just ask, okay?”
“Thank you again, I will.”

Once the nurse had left, Traci took hold of Tamara’s hand and squeezed it.

“Tam, Tamara…Mommy’s here. Don’t leave me okay. I love you. I don’t know if you can hear me or not but, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for this happening but, I’m here now and we’ll make it through, okay. You’re strong and can come out of this. I…I miss you. I miss your brother and I’m so sorry, baby girl. It’s all my fault and I’ll never be able to make it up to you. I’m going to try to though…so come back to me. Please…I love you so much and you’re all I have left. You’re all that matters.” Traci glanced at the monitor and just like the nurse said, the brain waves were very active. She could even see her daughter’s eyes flutter and for a moment Traci held her breath. Please!

Nothing happened. The breath that she’d been holding came out in a low sob and she squeezed her daughter’s hand once more.

“You’re doing good, baby. Keep trying…keep trying and come back to me.”

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The knocking on the door woke her, though Traci didn’t remember falling asleep. She wasn’t sure what to think of the group of doctors that walked in. Each of their name badges displayed their different specialties. It was the Neurologist who spoke first and told her what they’d been saying all of last night. She was in shock and if she didn’t pull out of it soon she’d slip into a coma.

God, what use were these people! She was a nurse herself and nothing they told her was new. It shouldn’t have surprised her. Yet, they instilled some hope in her. They were very optimistic because her brain waves were very active. They were hoping with a little physical therapy and coaxing that she’d snap out of it. It would begin that evening. A therapist would come in and move her legs and arms to keep up the muscle tone.

She was glad for the words of encouragement but, was happy to see them leave. Glancing at the clock, Traci sighed heavily. Dena and Antwan were probably worried out of their minds by now. There was no more putting it off; she had to call them. Really, she wanted to hear their voices. At least they were familiar voices and she needed that right now. What she really needed was to hear her daughter’s voice. Or wanted?

When she got off the phone with Dena, Traci slouched down on the couch. She had no more tears. She had no more strength or hope or anything. It was like she couldn’t even feel…she was completely empty. Her friend had offered to make the funeral arrangements for Matthew and Don and Traci didn’t object. It was rather a relief. Thinking about her dead little boy was just not an option at this point for her. And Don, well, she didn’t even want to think about it. It was just too much…way too much to swallow.

Without thinking she grabbed the leather jacket that she’d worn last night…that the stranger had left. Well, he wasn’t really a stranger anymore but, she still didn’t really know anything about him. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she knew him, though. No matter, it seemed of little importance and yet donning his jacket she felt alright. It was still warm. It must just be nerves. That has to be it. Her whole world had crumbled within the span of an evening and her nerves were wrecked. It was really no wonder. She was probably going into a kind of shock herself. Things just didn’t seem real.

Yet, when she looked at her tiny bruised daughter reality seemed to set in…HARD.

Traci pulled up the chair next to her daughter and sat once again. Feeling a little silly but, not caring, she started to sing to Tamara.

“Sing a song of six pence, a pocket full of rye, four and twenty black birds baked in a pie, when the pie was open the birds began to sing, wasn’t that a tasty dish to set before the king? The king was in his counting house, counting out his money, the Queen was in the parlor, eating bread and honey, the maid was in the garden hanging out the clothes, when a long came a black bird and snipped off her...”

“Noooosssssse”

Traci jumped up. Had she heard that? Was it her imagination? Please, God, don’t let it be my mind playing tricks on me!

“Tamara…baby, can you talk? Can you talk to Mommy? Please, say it again.” Holding her breath she stood there, afraid to even blink dare she miss it.
Nothing.

“Tamara, baby…please come back to Mommy. PLEASE, I love you.”

“I love…you.”

Tears spilled down Traci’s cheeks when she thought she had none left. She screamed for the nurses as she stared into her little girl’s beautiful eyes. Thank you, THANK YOU GOD!
Tamara tried to say more but, was wearing herself out with the effort. Traci just held her hand and stayed glued next to her as the nurses came in to evaluate her new condition. They were shining lights in her eyes and asking her all sorts of questions to which she was too exhausted to answer and could only nod. Finally, the nurses left and went to call the doctor. They were left alone in the room together.

“I’m…sleepy Momma.” Tamara’s voice sounded so weak and frail. It reminded Traci of an echo far away from them. God, she was back but, she was still so weak!

“I know, baby. I know but, you have to stay awake for a while, okay? We need to keep you awake so you don’t slip back into shock or worse. Momma’s been so worried about you.” Try as she might, Traci couldn’t keep the shake out of her voice. This was a miracle! She thought she had lost everything and now…her little girl was talking to her. It was too much of an emotional ride for one day.

“Momma?”

“Yes, baby girl.”

“Where is Matthew?” It didn’t surprise Traci that her daughter would be so worried about her little brother. That was her way. She’s always loved that about her daughter.

“Baby, I don’t know that this is the time…” She could see in her daughter’s gaze that she wouldn’t let it rest and something in her needed to know. She needed closure.

“He didn’t make it, baby. Neither did your Daddy. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I should’ve picked you guys up. I should’ve…” Traci stopped short when her daughter grabbed hold of her hand and squeezed. She was a smart little girl. They sat in silence until the doctors came in to check on Tamara. Life had caught them both off guard. It was a hard lesson to learn for Traci…an even harder lesson for her six year old daughter.

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Dena arrived at the hospital just before sunset. Traci was very glad to see her old friend and even more glad to see such a response out of her daughter. Tamara always thought of Dena as an aunt. Those two shared a special bond of mischief and Traci wouldn’t have had it any other way.

“I brought you something, stick pole.”

“What?” Tamara’s eyes sparkled with curiosity.

“I got you the whole set of Harry Potter books…well, what’s out so far, anyway. I thought since you’d be stuck here for a little while, you should have some good reading material.” She handed over the neatly wrapped box and the two of them tore into it. Paper flew everywhere and Traci couldn’t believe her ears as her young daughter and best friend giggled like teenage girls at a slumber party. It was very humbling, in deed.

“Traci, I’m going to stay and read to Tamara for a while. Why don’t you go home or head over to my place and take a shower. Get something to eat while you’re at it. You need a break, okay.”

“I really shouldn’t go. I mean, she just came back to us this morning and…”

“And you really need to take a shower.” Dena pulled Traci out in the hall, smiling at Tamara mischievously.

“Look, you need to get some rest and take a break. You have been through a lot, A LOT. Take a break tonight, okay. Just a few hours for yourself.”

“Dena, that’s how all of this happened! I took a few hours for myself yesterday…I’m to blame for all of this! I can’t leave her…I can’t.”

“Trace, girl, just listen to me, okay? At least go and take you a shower at my house and maybe a nap. You’re no good to your daughter in this condition. You can trust me with her.” Tears welled up and barely managed to keep from spilling over on Traci’s cheeks.

“I’ll only be gone long enough to take a shower and maybe get some clothes.”

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Making her way through the parking lot, Traci realized she was still wearing that man’s jacket. Devyn. She was supposed to meet him for coffee! Spinning around she sprinted back towards the cafeteria entrance. She’d made it half way across the parking lot and then...SMACK!
The force in which she hit him nearly dropped her on her bottom. It probably would have had he not caught her and steadied her.

“I’m so sorry.” Her blush was from head to toe. She was so embarrassed. Here she was, a grown woman, sprinting across the hospital parking lot and running straight into the man she was going to meet. God, she was an idiot.

“What’s the rush? Nothing serious I hope.” He knew why she was running. It was the way she blushed. Devyn found that he loved that about her.

“Oh, nothing. I…” Okay, so what was she supposed to tell this guy? I was sprinting across the parking lot because I forgot I was supposed to meet with you tonight…and I didn’t want to stand you up.

“You wanna go get that coffee?” It was the best she could come up with. Better to throw them off guard with a question of your own than to fess up to being an idiot.

“Sure. It doesn’t have to be hospital coffee does it? Do you know any good coffee shops around here?”

“Oh, yes. My car’s just over this way.”

“This isn’t a very big town…I thought we could walk. If you don’t mind?” She looked both startled and pleased with the suggestion.

“O…Okay.”