A Meme from thequeen…

1)What time is it? 11:19pm

2)Name as it appears on birth certificate: Teri Devona Wood (although I have never gone by my first name because it’s the same as my father’s and my brother’s first name…you think they’d have made it my middle name instead of making things dificult for me.)

3)Nicknames: l8dybug, scoobydubious, Devon-Oh, nigglet, chief nubby-nub

4) Piercings: just one in each ear

5)Eye color: hazel

6) Favorite food: brocoli-cheese cassarole

7) Ever been to Africa? Uhm, nope

8) Ever been toilet papering? (can it be used against me in a court of law?) yes

9) place of birth: Paul’s Valley (OMG! I’m blonde and a Valley girl, like gag me with a spoon!)

10) Ever love someone so much it made you cry? yes

11) Been in a car accident? Yup, two

12) Croutons or bacon bits? croutons

13) favorite day of the week? Friday

14) Favorite resteraunt? Maria’s Mexican restaurant

15)Favorite flower: lavender roses

16)Favorite sport to watch: sumo wrestling, and WWF (…well, WWE)

17)Favorite drink: Pepsi/Sunkist (non-alcoholic) Long Island Tea (alcoholic)

18)Favorite Ice cream: Spongebob Squarepants icecream

19)Disney or Warner Bros: Warner Bros

20) Favorite fast food: Arby’s

21)What color is your bedroom carpet? A yucky tanish cream color

22)How many times did you fail your drivers test? once

23) From whom did you get your last email? lol, a friend…a girl I went to school with, we keep in touch via the email

24) Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Home Depot or Lowes

25)What do you do most often when you are bored? sleep

26) Bed time? in between when I put the kids down at 9pm and 1am (leaning more towards the 9pm here lately)

27)Who will respond to this meme the quickest? Uh, joe cool

28) Who is the person you think is least likely to respond? Rogue Wit

29) Favorite tv shows? CSI (I need to know how to cover my tracts…just in case, lol)

30)Last person you went out to dinner with? My loving husband, Rogue Wit

31) Ford or Chevy? I say Chevy but, I know my husband is a Ford Mustang kinda guy

32) What are you listening to right now? Squirl Nut Zippers

33) What is your favorite color? Sage green or pumpkin orange…I just can’t decide

34) How many tattoos do you have? None…but I’m going to get a little ladybug on my breast when I get out of nursing school

35) Have you ever run out of gas? Yes, more than I care to think about…and it’s always the most in-oportune time…thank God I live in Oklahoma and there are a lot of friendly people about to help me.

36) What is your favorite Book? Movie? Anyone of the Dark Serie’s books by Christine Feehan and I love Run Down with Dwayne Johnson in it.

Well

Okay, well the good news is (drum roll please):

The people from "Christmas in April" came by.

I should be over-joyed but, (Mhm...a but) it wasn't the wonderful moment in time I had envisioned for myself.

This is what I envisioned...

Knock, knock.

{"Who's there?" (Okay, just kidding)}

[I open the door. To see this awesomely HOT man with a clip board.]

"Oh, hello. Do come in won't you. Are you from the "Christmas in April" group?"

"Yes, beautiful, I am. I need you to show me around you house and tell me what I can do for you." I blush but, oblige him.

I walk him around and tell him about every little thing that's wrong and bla bla bla. The kids decided it was boring stuff and wandered off the their perspective bedrooms. (I may or may not have locked them in)
When the painfully hot dude with the clip board from "Christmas in April" looks at me and speaks.

"Hmm... Well, I think we can help you but..." He paused looking at my huge mountainous peeks which are my breasts.

"But what?" I inquire.

"But, you'll have to bump-uglies with me."

"Well, if it's for the good of the house....we really need the leak stopped...anything."

OKAY, SO THAT'S NOT HOW IT HAPPENED!


Okay, so the bad news:

Besides it not being a really hot man with a clip board, you mean?

Yup.

The bad news is that they don't always have plumbers and bla bla bla...bla bla. But, he'll see what he can do.
He was kinda suspicious when I he walked around and saw all of the construction being done. I had to explain that {and he should know} lumber isn't that expensive and it's not as if I'm hiring anybody to do the work. We can't afford a plumber to come in and rip out the bathroom and charge us two months salary. Anything that gets done around here is done by us or somebody we know. Unfortunately we don't know anybody who does MAJOR plumbing and A/C...seeing as we already had to spend close to $4000 on a new heating and air unit...we're hoping to have some help with the plumbing. This biggest concern is my son's allergies due to the mold. We've already had to pull up the carpet in his room.

So, my friends, keep your fingers crossed that they can help. Or will help, whatever the case may be.

BITCH BITCH BITCH, bla bla bla

Construction, the many benefits and the many side-effects...

Benefits:
It is saving us money.
Our design can't be bough in a store.
It will add some value to our little ghetto home. (So we can sell it at a later date and get our dream home.)

Side-effects:
I'm bitchy because my house hasn't been clean in going on two weeks.
I'm bitchy and sore. (I haven't even done the hardest jobs...I don't know how my old man and his dad are faring.)
I'm bitchy and...bitchy.


Yes, that's right. I will admit to being bitchy over the last week or so. And, my flock, I am not going to be online much this week.

"WHAT?! WHY?!"

Okay, you twisted my are and I'll tell you.
Saturday I have a really hard test in which I must study and study and study until I'm sick of the crap and am reciting it in my sleep.
Then I have a mid-term next week. JOY! You just KNOW that is going to be fun!

I'm ready for spring break...I'm ready for summer vacation.
I know, I shouldn't bitch but, I'm tired and sore and BITCHY!

...So when this room is done and I can find the cord to download the pictures we've been taking (step by step progress) and am able to post the "finished room" here for you...

I will probably have something new to bitch about! LOL

I AM a woman after all.

Fear not, as I will be posting and commenting but, just not as much with all of this crap to do this week. It's actually turning into a beautiful room...I'm just bitchy.

...No it's NOT "that time of the month," women can just be bitchy from time to time. I think I'm "bitch" enough to admit that.

SLAVE LABOR

Damn, I cannot wait for this room to be done.
I am completely tired of having to walk around sheet-rock and lumber.
...Not to mention keeping the kids out of all of the manly tools lying all around.

So, that's what's been going on: More construction.

We'll have the sheet rock up by mid-day today and I'll tape and bed it. So I will at least be able to paint through-out the week.

Up-date on Crazy Ol' Lady...
She's being kept in the hospital until the pneumonia passes. So, that's good. I will hear from Smokey Smurf sometime today to see what the Ass-Master says. He works in the area next to where they're keeping Crazy Ol' Lady. He was going to check in on her for us. The Ass-Master reigns supreme!

Okay...off to the slave labor again!

It's a full moon tonight

Let me give you a "hypothetical situation."

Actually, it's more like a question posed.

...

Have you ever had to fart so badly that your nose runs? And you can't slip it out because you know it won't be "the quiet kind." So you hold it.

...and hold it...

Now it's simmering in your bowels and you know it's not going to be pretty. So you whipe your nose and clinch your cheeks hoping for the best.

Finally class ends after what seemed like an enternity in flatulence Hell! Yet, you move slowely out of the chair as to keep from releasing the tornado of gas swirling between your cheeks.

Out of the building and slowely across the parking lot. Why does it seem everyone is headed in the same direction as you! So you slow further and linger for a moment to let the crowd pass you by.

Once you reach your car your, you do a quick glance across the area to make sure you're alone. Having scanned and feeling a since of aloneness you let it rip before you enter your car. YOU DON'T WANT TO DRIVE HOME WITH THAT STANK! Yet, what is this you hear?

Listen, there it is again!

You glance to your left and notice that this guy is sitting in his car with the window down and laughing his ASS OFF.

How the Hell did you miss him?

So, cursing under your breath and consequently trying not to breath in, you fumble with the keys...dropping them. As you reach down to pick them up it's too much for your colon and another blast of heated air escapes in a "whizzzpt."

Now this man is nearly choking from laughter as you climb in your car and speed off.

...Was it all just a dream?

Up-Date

My Grandma-In-Law (Crazy Ol' Lady) is doing a little better.

...and I'm finished with that damn essay!

*Happy Happy, Joy Joy...*

Now it's off to the shower and then off to take my Native American History Test #2.

Sorry today has been so boring...I promise to make it more interesting tomorrow.

Thanks to all the Special People!

Ah, you guys are the greatest!

There was no right or wrong answer because it was a poll to see what kind of knowledge people possess about Native Americans in general. I will not be posting any names; so you guys are safe!

--Side note--

My, uhm...Grandmother-in-law (lol, is that right--it's my husbands grandma, so, yeah, I guess) is in the hospital as of last night with pnemonia and some other kind of infection, or something. I'm kinda hazy on the details.

I'm just hoping that she's on my brother-in-law's floor. That's Smokey Smurf's husband, The Ass-Master. He's a wonderful nurse.
The rest of my Evil Clan work there as well, just on a different floor.
Well, two differen't floors anyway. Crack-head works on a separate floor than "the evil bitches."

...Oops, got off on a tangent.

So if every one would just keep Rogue Wit's grandmother, "Crazy ol' Lady," in your prayers...it would be very welcome.

I must write my paper now and study for tonight's test!

Tali-Ho!

The Book Game--(from Joe Cool's blog)

Book Game

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.


Your offering I make.
Restore my feet for me,
Restore my legs for me,
Restore my body for me,
Restore my mind for me,
Restore my voice for me.
This very day take out your spell for me.


Okay, tag…you’re it!

I need at least 15 special people!

Okay my flock, I need a favor today.
I have to write a short paper and it’s due tomorrow night. I have to have at least 15 responses to these poll questions.
I ask not just for me but, for my group. When they found out I have a blog they elected me "poll-host."
So please give your best answer and don’t be afraid to be wrong….also, no looking anything up on the web. This is supposed to be from what you know.


Introducing, Our Poll:


List five famous American Indians.


Name some qualities that you would associate with American Indians.


What do you think about the future of American Indians?


Where do you think Indians live?


What do you think they wear?


Name three things from their culture that you have heard of and explain it the way you understand it.


Do you know the difference between a clan and a tribe, please explain?

I was tagged @ Joe Cool's...

Book Game

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.


Your offering I make.
Restore my feet for me,
Restore my legs for me,
Restore my body for me,
Restore my mind for me,
Restore my voice for me.
This very day take out your spell for me.


Okay, tag…you’re it!

Here I am!

Where the HELL have I been?!

Alright, much to my dislike I had to take down my computer Thursday night. It was imperative that it was put back up today, though, being as I have online school work to do during the week.

The Reason:
Construction!

So Friday, even though we were all sick, we busted down about 5 feet of wall. We are joining the living room with this one that we’ve added on. The pocket doors are up.
I was adamant about having doors to close so I can study “quietly.”

On with the story…
Rogue Wit had been ill enough to stay home from work on Friday. This NEVER happens. Bless his heart though; he couldn’t see being at home (even though he was sick) and not doing something. Yet, after we knocked down the wall and he put up our new TV stand he went to bed. I stayed up and painted. I painted only half and I’ll tell you why…it’s the half that isn’t being sawed, hammered, or the like. They’re sticking a desk to this side so I wanted it painted before the desk was built in. And…the desk is up (not finished but, up and its sooo nice and BIG).

Saturday 10 am:
My In-laws arrive with POWER TOOLS! They set about installing a new outside door and working on the GIANT hole that we were wanting to put the pocket doors in. These two projects took them all of Saturday and all of Sunday.
The men had to head out to Lowe’s (sp?) and get manly construction stuff. It was all I could do not to die when I was put on “cock” duty (caulk). This was followed with some great “cock” jokes: “Oh, so I couldn’t get some last night but, now your Dad is telling me to handle your cock?!” --God, I had so great lines!
This was even funnier when I got to call them at the store and tell them that they "didn’t have enough cock to finish the job.” My Mother-in-law and I were in stitches!
During all of this I am (im)patiently awaiting my new refrigerator. We had to get out the ice chests and empty our ghetto fridge Friday night. It has to be unplugged over night for them to pick it up—why? I’m not sure but, I wanted to do whatever it took to get rid of that thing. The problem with unplugging it is that it was now leaking HEAVILY. FUN, FUN, FUN!

Alright so by the end of Saturday, they had to outside door up but, it still needed molding (sp?) And they had all of the “studs” down so they could put up the pocket doors.

Side note: I know why construction is considered man work now. It involves caulk, studs, screwing, banging, and a host of other gigglish type things.

Sunday 10 am:
My In-laws arrived promptly again for more “man work.” I was hoping to get to play with the power tools but, it turns out I’m too weak to use the saw to cut through the studs. So I’m put on “cock duty” again and I get to tap the nails.
They get up the pocket doors and the molding to the outside door.

My kitchen and living room are chaos!

On to Monday:
I had to get up about 8ish so as to get my son (and us) to the doctor. The rest of us just have the sniffles but, my son has a slight case of pneumonia.

WHAT?!

I know that doctor was thinking that I was the worst mother in the world but, it you saw my son, you wouldn’t think he was REALLY sick. He was running circles around his sister. I mean, how the HELL was I supposed to know? He only ran a fever once and that was on Thursday night. Yet, the chest X-rays said that he did, in fact, have pneumonia.
Great. You see I have to tackle my son to the ground, wrap my leg around his, get him in a head lock, and grab hold of his hands so that with my free hand I can sit and “convince” him to take his medicine. And it’s worse if it’s nasty tasting shit…and of course, this shit is.
So I take my son with me to the store because, now we have to fill our new fridge. Then I drag his little butt with me to pick up his medicine and I get the same little girl I made cry. Whether that had anything to do with it or not I don’t know/don’t care but, I did not have to wait but two minutes as she went and filled my son’s medicine and promptly handed it to me. SWEET! That’s one less thing for me to bitch about. LOL.

Soooo, I arrive home and Rogue Wit is in the middle of mounting some shelves to the wall. A few hours later (about 3:40 or so) my Father-in-law came over straight from work. He’s got a heart of gold, I swear! It only took about two hours for them to put up the desk. We still have to put the molding on it and build the drawers and build the shelving unit but, BUT…it’s functioning and beautiful.

We’ll be working more on it this weekend but, I have two tests this week and a paper due. So I’m not going to be messing with it until then. However, my Father-in-law is going to have me help him make the shelves. YES! I am going to get to play with power tools…how scary is that?

Mortified!

Okay, so there is this guy in my class who has a crush on me...a BIG CRUSH on me.

Aside from the fact I keep telling him, "I'm HAPPILY married." With the emphasis on happily, he keeps winking at me and stuff.

I've taken to quit even doing my hair or wearing make up to my Tues/Thurs. night class--it's gotten so bad. No, no...he hasn't groped me or anything. I do know how to defend myself and would show him just what opening up a can of whoop-ass is.

The fact of the matter is this: I'm not a typical girl. I've had mostly guy friends with the few girls I do hang out with who are just like me. (That's pretty scary huh)

I didn't wear dresses until I noticed how guys responded to me in them. A few of my X's called me "buns of steal." So I like the attention. BUT, but...I'm a loyal bitch. And yeah, I know I'm the shiznit but, there are a lot of really slutty women in the class who think that this guy is also the shiznit. (So he's hot...so fucking what. I don't do the happy dance for every man.) Point is...he should be going after the half-wit floozies who practically throw themselves at him.

"I know you're married but, I'll still be here if 'something happens.'" WTF!

I could just deck the bastard...

So, why am I so bent out of shape tonight? I'll tell ya.

I was at class about 10 minutes early and there was about half the class in the room already. Then, Mr. Chip-n-Dale shows up.

He walked by without the usual banter:
"I didn't get your call last night."
"Really, probably b/c I was too busy screwing my husband."

To my grief, he set his stuff down two tables away and then comes to stand in front of my desk. I felt as if I literally shrunk when he went into a rap/serenade.

I'll give him this: He was able to come up a rhyme with my name, Devona (pronounced: Devon-uh).

But that's all I'll give him. I was totally mortified. So much so that I chewed him a new hole in front of the entire class. (Thank God the professor wasn't in yet!)

Maybe that will get it through his thick skull.

Why do men only want the unattainable?

Check these out...

This girl opens a beer bottle with her...

and

Gaytrix (you have to scroll down to towards the bottom to play this one, sorry)

MXC

Wow, I'm a partier, let me tell ya.

We stayed up long enough to watch the re-broadcast of the news and then I watched and episode of MXC and went to bed. What's even more sad is that we were watching it IN bed.

God, how did it happen? When did we get old?


Oh, well...I have to say though, I LOVE MXC! I get to watch people get smashed and fall and beat and am giggling all the way through it. I found a clip of the most painful elimination of the day. Check it out, it's great.

The Do's

I’ve told you what not to do in a relationship and now I will expand on this.
As per Pirate’s request, here are the Do’s:

1) Tell me I’m the most beautiful woman in the world at least 4x’s a day
-even if I’m wearing sweats with a pony tail and smell like bleach from cleaning
-make it sound believable

2) Complement my beauty through-out the day and tell me how wonderful I am
-I know I’m wonderful and want you to know it too
-sucking up can get you laid

3) Tell me you love me in the morning, afternoon, evening, and in between
-what’s the old adage? Have and affair with your wife or someone else will

4) Pick up after yourself
-I am not your mother

5) Doing dishes will also get you laid
-uhm, this one’s pretty self-explanatory

6) Clean the bathroom
-there is nothing sexier than a man sweaty from cleaning toiletries

7) Don’t complain when I ask you to do something
-sigh, this one is a bit of an argument starter

8) Do it when I ask you to and not a couple of hours later
-if I needed it done later I would ask you later
-I want to sit and veg in front of the TV/computer too
-it’s not fair for me to do EVERYTHING

9) Love me, love my pets
-if you can’t be nice to my cat, you can’t pet my kitty

10) When I ask “Do I look alright?” the correct responses are:
-“Have you ever NOT looked beautiful?”
-“Damn baby, you make my mouth water!”
- (make sure to look at me before any response, very important)
-“I’ve got to take you right now!”

11) Only laugh if I’m already laughing at myself
-I don’t like to be laughed at
-and yes I KNOW I’m a klutz

Well, there you have it. What TO DO in a relationship. I might have to add a part two. There are so many rules when it comes to women and I’m sure most of you men would benefit from it….LOL.

You Are the Very Gay Velma!

She might not even realize it... But Velma is all about Daphne ... not Fred!

What Gay Childhood Icon Are You?

My son had much fun today; he likes to tickle his neck with his valentine kitty. 

"All My X-es Live In Texas"

Well, not really. Especially seeing as how I've only been there a few times and mostly on my way through the state.

It's a funny thing about relationships. Everyone has their problems and baggage. Everyone has fights, be they big or small, arguments or disagreements...We all have them.

I have struggled to leave this one particular dip-shit behind. We fought all the time. I threw his ass into the privacy fence at the duplex and broke a plank with him. LOL, so we fought. Did I mention I have a little bit of a temper? I broke his TV once and the phone. Ah, good times good times.
Let me clarify that it was all for a very good cause mind you. I'm not one to just start throwing and breaking things. You have to cross a line, a very thick unwavering line.
I think this asshole liked to set me off.

Let me give you the rules in which I use to break up with you and that will set me over the edge:

1) Thou shalt not sleep with other women
-it's pretty self-explanatory, or so I thought
-once you have done this I am free to play the field as well
-I'm loyal as long as you are

2) Thou shalt not compare me to another woman
-again, pretty self-explanatory
-if you want them so much you can go back to them
-I change for no man

3) Thou shalt not call me the "B" word
-only my little sister and my closest girl friends are allowed
-I don't slap; I will deck you for it

4) Thou shalt not imply that I am stupid
-Ever
-EVER

5) Thou had best be (damn) good in bed for me to take you back
-okay, so this doesn't have anything to do with breaking up
-yet, it does
-you will further set me off by begging (depending on how you beg)

I thought that after the stalking and the threats on my best-friend's life I was away from this bastard. Yeah, I thought.

I hear from my best-friend (who he threatened to kill, by the way-the psycho) a few weeks ago that she saw him. It was with much satisfaction that she informed me he was with a really fat ugly chick and had gotten fat himself. So there is the good news.

The bad news: My little sister called me this morning to ask me if I knew a Tammika. Tammika from Shawnee who worked at the only Burger King in that town. Uhm, yeah I knew her as it was where my X, Tishomingo worked. GOD, my fingers just cringed from typing that.

Back in those days I was a pot-head and Tish sold to the manager of that place. Man people are so stupid. Anyway, I went there all the time when we were dating. And this girl Tammika was a skank! OH, yeah...How she has any self-respect for herself I will never know.

My little sister, Smokey Smurf, is now working with her at a nursing home in Noble. She politely informed Tammika that I am not with Tish any longer. Tammika was surprised because Tishomingo, she said, was really in love with me. Yeah, if you call stalking love.

I kinda wish I could see him one last time so I could bitch-slap him. Then I'd tell him he should've off'd himself like he kept threatening to do. I said it then when he kept calling my work and harassing me and I'll say it now..."Do it bastard so I can go on with my life!"

...Hum, that's not wrong is it?

Me?

Counting your chickens before they hatch?

OR

Killing two birds with one stone?


Me?
I usually get my cat to help me ambush the damn birds with one giant-ass stone/boulder even!
I never really cared much for math or chickens.

there it is ...my ghetto fridge I mentioned in my last post, it'll be gone this weekend 

(Ya Know What? Have a nice life!) HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Let me start out by saying to my fellow bloggers and fair readers of my blog...
I'm sorry for the last post. To you I am sorry, but I am not sorry about the post nor will I remove it. I was seething with anger and contemplated driving my ass over to their house last night around 2am.

What I have decided is this: This is my blog if you guys don't want to read my posts then don't (you know who you are).

Who says, pony up anyway? (thinks he's freakin' Dudley-doo right)

Look, Mark, you weren't my family when you implied Smokey and I were such a burden. You look at this whole situation as an outsider. You don't see how much mom is fucked up or your lovely full-sister is. I could tell you. Yes, sir.

Do you call me...No. And nope, I haven't ever tried to call you. Then again, would you have done to me like you did with my little sister and told your wife you didn't want to talk with her? Do you even remember that? God, it was when we were still in school...You made her cry.

We're older now though. Tears don't come as easy.

Whether you read this or not, I don't give a shit b/c these are my thoughts and if there is anyone in the family who has enough balls to speak their mind, it's me.

I don't want to talk to you guys. EVER.

Blood is not thicker than water, always. I'm closer to my steps than to my 1/2's...Only b/c you guys choose to ignore us.

But, you go ahead and listen to Maria. I'm sure she's got enough evil things to say about me.
You know that's why they are even talking to you right; it's because they need to keep up their numbers. Or are you already aware of all the shit that she has said about you? Hmm...

LOL!

This is borderline funny. Am I the only one who see the irony in this? LOL, maybe so.

It seems as if it has added some "day-time drama" to my blog...I wonder if my ratings will go up?

...Next time on "Devona's Family"...

But I think it's out-lived it's contract and is being cancelled. Now.
You think we don't know about family but, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?

Well, have a good life...At least this way I won't have to explain why the lot of you treat my children badly.

LOL...Maybe I'll turn it into a mini-series! Yeah!

What do you guys think, fair readers?

I've got some good, I mean really good stories here...lol.

...I've come out on top here...Wow! I still have my Dad and Step-mom and my In-laws...It's like I've never lost anyone at all. Yup, still 2 full sets of grandparents.


.....On to brighter things.

I'll be getting rid of our ugly fridge at the end of this week! YES! I'm going to take a picture of it for you. I could win a prize for it's ugliness, yes I could. It's just so ghetto it makes me wince when company comes over. And yet, I want to be able to remind my kids in embarrassment about it when they are older. It's been a good fridge though...Way past it's prime and still running. Okay, so maybe it had to have a pacemaker set in and some O2...And some surgical repair here and there, but the thing kept going for us. It will finally be able to rest in peace for it's journey is almost over. Go with God, my friend and find peace in the junk yard of death.

Also, I didn't even mention what my sweet-heart got me for Valentine's Day. Posh, I should smack myself for the oversight.

First off, the bastard sent it to his Mother's house-AGAIN. Yeah, like I would peek? (okay so I would...But, damn it)
Rogue Wit got me an Egyptian Cartouche with my name in hieroglyphics. It's beautiful and hangs on a very beautiful chain around my neck.
He's so sweet sometimes...Okay, I got to rub it in a little...I feel better.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

This is Mark Fuck Off

Oh yes...

It is so like my oldest brother, the cop, to use such eloquent words to describe his sorry ass.

I wonder if he knows how fucked up our family really is?

Should I tell him?

I wonder if he wants the whole unadulterated truth?

He's too much of a chicken-shit for that and if he thinks that my feelings are hurt then...well, it's really sad then isn't it. Hey fucker! So are you going to take your cheating ass wife back?

TOUCHE' MO-FO!

Surprise Surprise Surprise

So, I know how much everyone has missed me. I would say I’m sorry for the absence but, I’m not…not in the least.

Not that I am not completely addicted to this blog thingy and am attention whore, to boot…it’s just the old man and I needed a day away. We needed a day without kids, without computers, without phones, without strict time schedules…a day to enjoy each other’s company and RELAX.

So, what did I do for my Valentine?

I booked us a night’s stay at the Red Stone Inn bed and breakfast. I made us reservations at the Haunted House Restaurant. AND…We went to the Omniplex to kill some time.
Let me just say…IT WAS SO WORTH THE MONEY I SAVED AND SPENT.




We couldn’t check in the Inn until 4 and so we had a little time to kill and stopped by the Omniplex. Damn, it’s been since Jr. High since I’ve been there. We are such a couple of dorks. But, we both love science! Rogue Wit loves the technical side and I love the natural side. We walked around and looked at most of the exhibits. We had to go in the shadow machine before we left. GOD I LOVE THAT STUPID THING! We are so going to have to take the children
.
The Inn was beautiful! BEAUTIFUL!

We walked around the grounds and were followed by the family dog. Choco was his name-O. He was a big lovable dog who didn’t like for us to pet the cats—AT ALL. When we arrived it was raining and a little cold but, being from Oklahoma, that didn’t bother us at all and we walked about outside without coats.

The Inn was built in the 1920’s I believe and the grounds were spectacular. The web site didn’t do it justice. Our room, the Remington room, was on the second floor facing the front of the Inn.
With the dark skies and the rain it was a perfect atmosphere for our adventures in “Haunted House Restaurant” land. This place was super fancy and very Scooby-Doo-ish! There were shadows on the walls, they had purposely peeled some wall paper in some of the rooms and made it look “old and haunted.” It was an actual house that was just turned into a restaurant. We were seated on the second floor next to a window. The view was awesome. This place was hard to find in the middle of nowhere at the end of a long scary road through a wooded area. It just screamed HAUNTED HOUSE!

Not only was the atmosphere gorgeous but, the food was delicious beyond words.

…And the valet was a nice touch too.

So when my husband and I retreat back to the Inn I had a surprise prepared for him. He walked back into the room and the bed was covered in rose-petals and there were chocolates and a bottle of wine AND his present. I got him a pewter dragon holding an Austrian crystal.
In the morning we woke to deep rich coffee and decided to sit out on the porch to enjoy. We walked around the grounds a little more and watched all the cats chasing each other. There were about 7 or so cats and if you stopped walking they were rubbing on your legs and mewing to get a pat or two. That is until Choco noticed and would chase them off.

I hated to leave. There was something about the beauty and quiet of the place. I smiled the entire time I was there.

So, yes, Rogue Wit was very surprised. He had no idea what we were doing when we dropped the kids off. It was wickedly wonderful to see the response from him when he saw all the work I put into preparing this weekend for him.

I’m such a romantic…

xx Rogue Wit xx

If our love was a flower
And I had the power
I'd frame it and keep it in gold

I'd hold it so dear
To keep you so near
To my heart where my love is so bold

But, love cannot be captured
Nor taken nor lured
But given to have and to hold

She Was Brave (9th Part)

Devyn felt it then, stirring and calling him with such violent force he nearly killed the woman her was feeding on. More than that he felt pain. Bitter, heart-wrenching pain. The pull was so strong he was able to latch onto the direction. Without regard for his prey he dropped the woman and shot himself up towards the night sky. His need right then was to find the source of this, thing.

He kept his focus on the strange pulling. It was necessary at that moment to be at the center of the call. It was a need. Devyn had to be there and to end this search. He would be much happier once his search had ended and he could get on with his life.

Stopping in mid sky, Devyn had found the center of the call. He was at a hospital. Rather out of place in this small town, he thought. It was an easy eight story building that was nearly as wide as it was high. He circled it a few times before he landed at the back of the building. Having fed well, he was able to cloak himself from prying eyes and walked straight on into the ER.

Devyn nearly uncloaked and gave away his position when he was assaulted the strong smell of fresh blood and fear. Ah, he had thrived on fear for so long. Mixed with blood, it was an addicting drug. It took a moment to remind himself just why he was there…and it wasn’t to torment already broken humans. And so he slipped into the elevator as it was closing. If it mean he was going to have to do a floor by floor search then that’s exactly what he would do.

The elevator opened to the second floor. Lazily, Devyn strode through the halls until he got to the south hall. The pull was so powerful but, it wasn’t on this floor. He was certain and that could only mean that it, whatever it was, was on the next level right about him. Not bothering with the elevators, he made his way to the stares with supernatural speed.

Once on the floor Devyn had to work hard to stay cloaked. His chest was heavy with sorrow and his limbs felt leaden. His mind was on over drive trying to figure out if this was some type of trap. If so, it was damn good.

Halfway down the hall he came upon the source of his torments. Devyn sucked in his breath. His torment lay over a very battered and still child, sobbing. He was compelled to go closer.
She was tall for a woman and yet not as tall as him. Her hair was a beautiful shade of gold.
Peculiar how it was blonde and red at the same time but richly deep and silky. Devyn could help but watch as the two long braids she had it in kept falling forward and then being propelled back hitting her firm bottom. He could see muscle definition under her soft curves. He was drinking her in. She had freckles like sand on her shoulders that gave her some type of exotic quality he couldn’t describe. And she kept wiping tears from her face.

Her face, he wasn’t able to get a good look at it from his vantage point. Devyn found that he had to look at it. Though he was sure it was angelic as she was an angel sent to tempt him.

There was no taint of a wizard or lycanthrop and she wasn’t a vampire but, he felt a power flowing from her every pore. Somehow he had to speak to meet her, speak to her. Touch her. And now, Devyn had a scent and a face…he could bide his time. That is if the sorrow he felt didn’t tear him in two before then.

She Was Brave (8th Part)

“You have twenty-eight messages…” God, apparently it was going to be a HUGE fight. Traci took a deep breath and played the first message.

“This is Jane with Gentle Valley Hospital, uhm…I am trying to get hold of Mrs. Davis. There has been an accident and…” The phone fell from her hand. An ACCIDENT. The word seemed to float in front of her eyes and she felt her stomach knot before she retched. Twenty-eight messages…Twenty-eight of them! They had been trying to reach her for a while. While she was out having a drink and thinking about divorce! The guilt made her limbs feel heavy and filled her chest with an awful aching.

She couldn’t even think about hearing the rest of the message, couldn’t. It took everything in her to hang up the phone and dress to head to the hospital. She was sure they would explain there. Where was Don? Was it the kids? God, she needed to listen to the rest of the messages but, couldn’t. She heard herself sobbing as she drove down town but, she couldn’t feel anything at that point. Whatever happened…it was her fault.


___________________________________________________

Thank God, for parking attendants. She had been against the hospital using them because of the cost but, at this moment they were keeping her from having her car towed.
She could now fill the tension building. Traci knew instinctively it was bad…She always knew. Her pace turned from a mild rush to a full force run through the doors up to the front of the check in line in the ER.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry to interrupt but, I got a call. Something about an accident, I…didn’t get all of the message. I’m…I’m Mrs. Davis. Can you send me to where I need to be? Please…” It was the note in her voice that kept the registration nurse from sending her to the back of the line. Traci waited patiently as the nurse checked the computer. It seemed like an eternity though; it only took a few seconds before the nurse looked up at her with a grim face.

Traci’s heart beat stopped and her breath caught. The nurse told her to go up to CCU on the Third floor. That they would explain everything to her when she got up there and they were waiting for her.

Even the elevators took too long and seemed to take years off of her life as well. It wasn’t even a relief when the doors slowly opened and she saw her In-laws sitting in the CCU lobby outside the locked doors. They immediately noticed her get off the elevator. And how could they not? The doors practically opened to throw her on their lap. And to her horror she didn’t see the children. Things were building to a horrific pitch in her mind as things started adding up. Then, even better, Don’s Mother rose and took a step towards her.

SMACK!

Traci was totally caught off guard as her Mother-in-law slapped her cheek, HARD.
“You stupid little whore! We aren’t allowed in to see Tamara and because of you Don and Matthew are GONE!” She started shaking and nearly fell. Probably would have if Don’s father hadn’t been right there helping her to her seat.

Gone. Gone? She’d used the word gone. Surely she was over playing the drama of the moment just like she always did. Matthew? Where’s Tamara? Traci looked at the doors to CCU and knew that’s where. Mat couldn’t be gone. She wouldn’t believe it. Don’s family was the kind to exaggerate to get the point across. They were manipulative bastards but, Traci couldn’t see even how her Mother-in-law would say something like that about her “precious” son. But she wouldn’t allow herself to think about them, him. She wouldn’t let panic rule her, not just yet anyway. Not until she knew for certain what had happened.

Her breathing was tight and short as she punched the intercom and was escorted through the doors. She didn’t turn to see but, she could feel the heated stares on her as she walked through. It was almost like a dream. It had to be a dream, a really horrible nightmare and she would wake up. Wake up, damn it! She would wake up and have to tell Dana and Tyrone about this horrific dream.

As she approached the front desk an elderly nurse came around to Traci’s side and motioned for her to sit. The nurse pulled up a chair and sat next to her with such compassion and sorrow that Traci knew it was bad. She knew this wasn’t a dream and she could hear herself screaming in her mind.

“Mrs. Davis, I’m not sure how to tell you this. I wanted to sit down with you before we go any further and explain what’s happened. I’m Jane Travis, the charge nurse. Did you get my messages?” Somehow Traci knew it was the lady on the phone. Traci didn’t respond for a moment and tried to gather enough strength to speak. Her would was shattering.

“I got as far as the word accident…and, then I rushed right over.” She felt herself go pale and her stomach was turning again. She had to ask though, she had to know.

“I saw my Mother-in-law in the waiting room.” She met the nurse’s eyes as her own were brimming with tears and continued. “She said that Don and Ma…Matthew were…” God, help her. She couldn’t even finish the question as a sob wrenched through her whole body and she had to fight hard to not to throw up again.

The nurse put a hand on her shoulder.

“Why don’t you let me explain?” Traci only nodded afraid to make eye contact.

“Your husband and children were involved in a car accident. Apparently there was a drunken driver who ran into a semi. The truck-driver tried to correct but, ended up tipping over…” Her gaze washed over Traci with such deep anguish and compassion that Traci knew what was coming next. Her chest was aching like part of her soul was being torn from her. “It nearly flattened two cars. One of them was your husbands…I’m sorry to say that he and your son died instantly. Your daughter was trapped until rescuers were able to tear her out. She’s in pretty bad shape but, she is alive. I want you to look at me. She is alive. She’s breathing on her own but, we have her on oxygen. The ordeal threw her into shock and we’ve not been able to get her out of it. We’re afraid she might slip into a coma.”

I am DYING!

How is it so easy for men to keep secrets and yet so hard for women?

Hmmm...well, I don't guess that statement is entirely true. Women can keep important secrets very well and for years if necessary. I've seen some men buckle in doing that.

But, when it comes to presents, surprises, and silly things it is so HARD to hide everything and not mention a word of it to Rogue Wit. I mean, I tell him EVERYTHING and my soul, my mind keeps wanting to share my happiness with him.

I think he is enjoying watching me struggle with this. BASTARD!

He's great at keeping those kind of secrets; he and his Mother are wonderfuly wicked when it comes to surprises and torturing me with "I got you a present."

"What is it?"

"I'm not telling."

...

IT'S HORRIBLE!

I've just got to take some deep breaths and stay calm...

I just have to keep my cool for tonight and in the morning. That shouldn't be too hard.

I would just post it here but, the old man reads my site from time to time and that would ruin it. Damn it, I suck at this game. I think I got that from my Dad. We just get so excited about what we've done we have to spill it. Yet, I will prevail! Though, I have nothing left to keep my mind occupied now. I finished my new book.

Christine Feehan's Dark Secret.

Damn, Rafael De La Cruz can be my dark lover anytime! Although, I think I'm going to hold off for Vikirnoff Von Shrieder in one of her up coming books Dark Demon. He was described as having dark, thick hair that fell past his waist... Ah, so many lifemates, so little time!

I love the "eye candy."

THE PROPHACY OF SWEET MEDICINE?!!!?

-missed that one, DAMN.

Okay...Wish me luck!

Though I don't think luck will have anything to do with it b/c "I'm READY!"

I have my 1st Native American History Test at the college tonight. We had a review on Tuesday and I did wonderful. What's more than that is I've been absorbing this stuff from day one!

Okay, so I'm a dork but, I'm a fascinated dork.

...but, wish me luck anyway.

If only it were this easy to train a man...

Check out what this bird can do.

Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more?

I feel compelled to explain a behavior of mine. Not that it is a bad behavior, just that I have been asked several times now "what it meant."

Wink: (verb) to open and close one eye as a signal or hint

I was upset that it didn't say more. Honestly, it is my second nature as I am very friendly. It's natural for me to pass by a door way and wink in on someone. This habit developed when I started working as a nurses aid. I have been one for a LONG time now so you must understand that I say many things with a wink.

"Hi"
"It's just me"
"Checking in"
"Glad to see ya"

The list goes on.

So for those confused as to my winking...Don't be. It is just my way of saying "Hello, I was here...Checking in on ya..."

It's not anything sexual or mystical or any kind of mischievous hint at something. It's just a polite greeting, like the head nod you give to someone you recognize or make eye contact with...In being respectful, acknowledging, and polite.

Cause, gosh darn it...I like people (except for the stupid one who are overpopulating the planet).

Bow down to the power of my breasts!

Sunday at my step-sister’s baby shower I was deemed remover of the balloons.

That’s cool. I like to sing like the chipmunks on occasion. And with the amount of balloons that were coming home with me I would be singing like Alvin, Simon, and Theodore for weeks!

One problem: I had been dropped off by the Rogue Wit and was catching a ride with Smokey Smurf out to my In-laws.

“So, what’s the problem?” You say.

Well, we drive a mini-van and my sister has a little car. Thus making it hard to fit myself, my daughter, my sister, and the 33 balloons into the vehicle and be able to drive.

Laughing, I buckle my daughter in and start shoving balloons back there with her. At least my daughter was enjoying this. Then I climb in front and buckle up.

Smokey Smurf is laughing at our stupid assess and waits patiently to back up while I’m trying to clear a path for her to see through the rear-view.

I finally get mine shoved and secured to the right side of the car and my daughter’s balloon pops up blocking the rest of the view. So I turn around to show her how to hold the balloon down so her crazy Aunt Smokey Smurf doesn’t get us killed (he he) and then I have to round up my strays once again.

So after about 10minutes we were able to back up and leave. I had finally taken a few balloons up to the front seat with me so the masses of them wouldn’t suffocate my daughter. And this one damn, blue balloon kept sticking to my head.

Damn it! Though it was funny I did not like the static cling it was doing with my hair.
So after it smacked my in the head and tried to stick to my hair for about the 30th time I had had enough.

It was at this point that I (being very well endowed) crammed the balloon between my right breast and the door. Smokey was laughing hysterically as every time I breathed I would have to smash it back between the door and my huge breast.

I think she was just jealous, lol.

I knew these breasts were more than mere man toys!

Homo-Mojo and Gay Indians

In studying the Native American culture I have been fascinated! Just fascinated by it. They were far more advanced than we would give them credit for. They’re society was very rich and complex.

For example: We are studying their religious aspects at the moment. It’s amazing! Truly. Women could be Shaman (which were the religious leader and the doctor and all tribes had several of them). Shaman were very important. And there were several ways in which to become one or rather to be put into training.

1) Children with unusual characteristics
-unusually short
-unusually tall
-different colored eyes
-different colored hair
-birth marks
-cross eyed, etc.

2) Strange behavior
-anti-social
-nervousness
-lonely

3) Multiple Births
-twins
-triplets
-quadruplets, etc.
(although some tribes felt the opposite about this and thought it was a bad oman and all but the first child were slaughtered)

4) A calling from the “spirits”
-it was custom for young men (and some women)
to go on a vision quest in hopes of having a dream
sometimes it would tell them to become a shaman

5) Just by deciding to become one
-although you would still have to go through all of
steps and training and be able to get the same results
and win the respect of his tribe members

6) Inheritance
-just as with #5 they had to go through the training and
be able to come up with the same results

7) Gay or Homosexual
-they believed these people held the spirit of a man and a
woman in the same body
-thus making their “magic” more powerful


I don’t know about you but, I’m fascinated…yet mildly disturbed.
[that's my informative post for the day...now everybody has learned something new]

If I could make my farts smell any scent I chose...
I would choose: LIME

"It's refreshing."

Valentine's thang

1) What was the best Valentine's Day present you've ever gotten?
a laughing bear (that has now been destroyed b/c I hate who gave it to me)

2) What would be your "dream Valentine's Day gift?"
a cruise...Hell yeah!

3) What was the worst Valentine's Day gift you've ever received?
a pare of panties that didn't fit...Although the gesture of wonderful

4) Have you ever gone to a sex-toy store on Valentine's Day?
No! Hell, no! (uhm just between you and me though, the answer is yes *blushing* but I CAN say I was not alone)

5) Is sex mandatory on Valentine's Day?
Duh, of course it is!

6) (Choose one) Would you rather:
A. Take a walk (through the park, in the woods, by the shore)
B. Have a lot of money spent on you (dinner, dancing, five star hotel)
C. Get drunk and have spastic monkey sex
I'm going to have to say it's a cross between A and C for me, leaning closer to C (only without the drinking part).

7) If you were single on Valentine's Day would you send yourself flowers and/or chocolates?
Hell no, but I would take myself out to dinner and have several strong drinks with anyone else who was alone too.

8) Chocolate or Flowers?
Damn...That's a hard one but, I am going to have to go with flowers. They last longer than the chocolate and I can show them off without having to share, lol.

9) Is it all about the Nookie?
Yup!

10) Is it a "lover's holiday" or a "female appreciate holiday?"
Okay, I'm going to be cheesy here and say a lover's holiday.

11) What's the best gift you've ever given on Valentine's day?
Uhm...I'm not at liberty to say at this moment. I'll say it's a surprise.

12) Do you give the Romantic card or the Funny card?
I usually go with the funny but, Valentine's day brings out the romantic in me.

13) What famous person would be your Valentine?
Yup, The Rock...I think I've mentioned him before, hehehe.

14) Who are you sentencing to this Valentine's Day Massacre?
Hmm...
~kimberly~
Rachel
Smokey Smurf
the queen
Babs
Blog Ho

My World

Ah life, and its infinite beauty. The millions and billions of people who make up our global community. Our “small world, after all.”

We form ties and break them. We are born and we die. The cycle of life continues on never pausing for us to catch our breath.

Where to even begin?

This is somewhat a personal post. Okay, mostly. (Alright alright, it IS.)

Don’t fuck with my baby sister!
(Sorry Smokey Smurf but, it’s hard not to get all protective and older sister-ish.)

The Good Guys:
1) I love my Dad and my Step-Mother
2) I love my Father-in-law and Mother-in-law
3) I love my step-brother and sister
4) I love my little sister
5) I love ALL of my brother-in-laws

The Bad Guys:
1) The rest of my family with the exception of my youngest nieces and my nephews
2) The stupid people (all of them!)


Don’t get me wrong, I love ALL of my family. It’s just that it is not enough!

Here I am, making a go at life and trying to give my kids a better outlook on life and a better chance of making something of themselves. I have some pride in that. I have struggled, but who hasn’t? Some of us more than others and yet we prevail against all odds because it means something to us. We have support of some kind. Any kind.

It is when you make your bed that you must sleep in it.
This is a shitty statement and yet, somewhat true.

The thing that is overlooked in this bit of knowledge is that no one said you couldn’t fix the sheets and sweep off the crumbs before you lay down for sleep.

There is no need to be juvenile and just give someone the cold shoulder. Be a man and step up and say something. This isn’t high school anymore…its life.

A lot of things went through my head as I was about to start typing this:
1) I should write some really shitty things about them!
2) I’ll expose the whole truth about the way things really are!
3) I can mention names!
4) I can berate them and/or make them cry.

The truth is I don’t think they are worth my stress…my time. I don’t give a shit. I’m too old to play the “he said/she said” shit. (Though I still love to be in on the juicy gossip! ..but that’s different right?!)

No one gives a shit about ya’ll anymore. Don’t you guys know that?

I will add this: I think it is beneath even them to ignore my children as they do. I am the one with the youngest grandkids and do they even try to come visit? (Don't start in with the "Well, you could bring them over just as easily" b/c no I can't and it's not about me or you it's about my innocent children) Well, if you said no then you could’ve won the prize…but I already ate the Godiva so sorry.

I say, “There is still hope for you. There is but, you won’t reach for it. No, you relish wallowing in the muck that is sucking you down.”

sooo...tired...

I went to my Step-Sister's baby shower this afternoon.
It was beautiful. I'll have to post some pictures maybe tomorrow.

I stayed up way too late last night reading my new book and had to get up way to early. The same thing on Saturday. Not much to post this evening...my eyes are SO HEAVY.

But I must go drop off the water bill in the night drop box so I will have water for a shower tomorrow. Sad yes, it's not that we haven't the money...just that I have so much to do and so little time to do it all in...and forgot.
Damn I hate that.

Hope everyone's weekend went well.

If

If I was a monster, I'd be a vampire. Not just because I'm obsessed with them but, because you have "jedi-mind power." Think about it.

I could read minds.
I could fly.
I could change form.
I could kill the stupid people who are over-running the freakin' planet.
And I'd never have to work to keep my diva-liscious figure.

Yet, I am not a monster in that since of the word...Or any if truth be told.

...Though it's nice to dream of slaughtering the idiots of the world. Makes one feel like smiling, doesn't it?

If you were a monster?
What would you be and why?

Four Questions From Joe Cool

At the request of Joe Cool...



1) If you could have dinner with any ONE living person in the entire world, who would it be ?

The Rock




2) If you could have dinner with any ONE dead person in the entire history of the world who would it be?

My Grandpa



3) If you could ask only ONE question of number 1, what would it be?

“Okay, Dwayne…My husband says I can sleep with you under one condition: You have to walk up to my house, knock on the door, and ask for me by name. So how is Friday at 10pm for you?”




4) If you could ask only ONE question of number 2, what would it be?

“Are you proud of me?”

Uhm...should I be scared? First my son was dressing in drag and now he's dressing his dinnasours up as gimps...is that normal for a two year old boy? I'm concerned. 

F&(&#%*&)!! Wal-Mart!

Yes, I AM grateful that they are open 24 hours!
Yes, I am glad that I can go and get toys, chairs, arts & crafts, and my groceries at the same place.

BUT DAMN!

Makes me think of the South Park episode about Wal-Mart.

Last night my son's night lights bulb had burnt out and somehow I had managed not to stock up on them. So I, selflessly gave him the bulb from my night light and declared that I would just head to wal-mart after we put the kids to bed and a new pack.
I left at 9:15 pm.

It only takes me about 10 minutes to get to the super-center.

It only took me about 10 minutes to get the few things I needed and some extra's.
(You can't ever just get what's on the list at Wal-Mart! It doesn't work like that)
While I was there I realized I hadn't gotten anything for my Step-Sister for her baby shower which is THIS Sunday...And I wouldn't have another opportunity to do any more shopping before then. Yet, it only took me about 10 minutes to get all of my shit because I know where everything is. And I don't fuck around at night because I don't see well to drive when the sun goes down.

Now, this IS a SUPER-FUCKING-CENTER. There are 28 check out lanes (and that's not counting the "self-check out ones") and only 4 are opened. FOUR! Four out of 28...You following?! And one of them was the "10 items or less" lane! (I had 14 small items) The problem with this is that "everybody and their grandma and their next-door neighbor's grandma's dog" were there.

So I wait in the one lane for about 20 minutes before I realize that the check out girl is waiting on a manager or assistant one. So I walk two lanes over to one of the other 3 lanes that are opened. There are at least 10 people infront of me. The line is so far backed up that we're right next to a group of Wal-Mart employees. Five of them who were just standing there "chit-chatting" as the lines get bigger.

Every few minutes you hear about 10 different pages for "the manager" or one of the other idiots who are supposedly incharge to go here or there.

I look over and all four of the "self-check out lanes" have flashing lights...Which means that they too needed someone to come help them. Now they are starting to back up.

Yet, does anyone open another lane?

Uh-uh...Nope, nada!

The tension keeps building as the lines get longer and the group of useless employees are still talking, giggling, and not doing a damn thing!

Then you hear a lot of yelling. I imagine it looking as if we were a town of prairie dogs...bobbing up and down trying to see what was going on.

At the front of the store this old hag of a "greeter" stopped this group of black men and asked to see their bag. Well, the alarm thingy hadn't gone off and the dude had his receipt in hand. Needless to say, he was PISSED OFF! I don't blame him. He started to yell about racial profiling and all of this other crap but, I would have to agree. There was no reason for him to have been stopped by this old cranky white lady. NONE.

So "the manager" appears seemingly out of no where. I can't believe my eyes as the manager is not old enough to drink. What the fuck! Yeah, well, you can imagine, the group of big black guys had this poor little white boy near tears. And after all of that is settled, he disappears again.

AHHHHHH!

At this point I'm near the end of my own rope. They still aren't opening a new register! And the guy behind me and I start in on those useless employees.

"Hey, isn't there some kind of policy for the number of lanes you have to have open for a certain number of people in line or something? How come no one is opening another lane?" --says I and the pissed off guy being me.

"I'm not a manager and I don't believe there is any kind of policy for that." --then she just ignores us.

So I says...
"Yeah, well it's nice that she can just wave us off because 'she's not the manager' and go back to standing there and gossiping like a stupid bitch. Yet, the rest of us still stand here waiting for our turn to be screwed over!"

She just looks at me and then goes back to ignoring us. That really pisses off the guy behind me, who apparently is a graduate of the school of chivalry, and he proceeds to tear them a new one for me. Thanks man, who ever you are. I also have to give this guy kudos because while we waited for an hour (no I'm not kidding) we got to do some real talking. He does the shopping every other week for his wife. He also told me that he was doing this week and next so he could look for something for her for valentines without her knowledge (though he was pretty sure she was onto him). [I can't send my man to the store...Hell, once I asked him for one thing...He went to the store and about 40 minutes later he came back with two bags full of crap and neither one of them had the one item I needed. LOL, he's never going to live that one down. ]

So when I finally reach the check out and am about to pay I look to the isle next to me and notice the same lady who was waiting on the manager or whoever was still there. DAMN! The check out girl is in tears because her register is froze up and she didn't know what to do (it was her first night and she didn't have anyone training her!).

I got home about 10:40 pm. Was it a full moon last night, I don't recall seeing the full moon?

Yeah, I'm going to speak with a manager about it when I go next. That was bull shit!

...Okay, I needed to vent, sorry.

Here is a free computer screen cleaning for all. Just click the LINK for details.

I am running away...That's it!

I spend all morning cleaning and doing homework, I give the kids a shower (and myself) then I think, DAMN it's 2pm...I have to get dinner started.

You see I have to leave as soon as my husband gets here in order to make it to class on time. So I have to get all of my crap done before 4:30pm.

SO...I am in the middle of making chicken-fried steak, mac & cheese, and some corn. When my son unloads about 10 bls worth of toxic-waste in his pants and my daughter decides to torment the cat.

"Leave the cat alone."

"Leave THE CAT ALONE." and I spank her hand. My poor dumb-ass cat isn't smart enough to scratch or claw my kids. So he just lays there as my daughter proceeds to wrap him in a blanket and tries to put some socks on him.

"DAMN IT CHILD, I said to leave that cat alone!!!"

"Leave the cat alone."

"Leave that damn cat alone!"

Then after a glorious ten minutes on the phone with my friend Tracy I go check on the kids. My son was being good and playing with his puzzles in his room. Then I realize that my daughter's door was closed...So I opened it.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO THAT POOR CAT?!?" I make her come over to me and then I spank her little butt.

"You need to listen to Mamma, do you understand young lady?!" She nods and I retrieve the cat from inside her closet and remove her shirt from him. Stupid cat!

So, I am then in the kitchen, cooking up a storm. The children are "I assumed" being good and watching TV. Yeah, so much for assuming...Never assume anything with a 2 and a 4 year old.

I go check on them in the living room. My daughter is now chasing the damn cat with a blanket. Still the cat doesn't try to even defend his stupid-ass.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING! What did Momma say about the cat?...I said to leave him alone. That means: don't touch him, don't look at him, don't mess with him, don't even think about him! I'll know about it if you do, you understand!?" Yeah, that's going to mess with her for a while.

About 20 minutes later the cat comes running in the kitchen and flops down my my feet. For protection, I'm sure. I turn around and see my daughter look at me and then she turns around and takes off. I pat the cat and tell him, "It's alright, Dez."

THEN, you would think after that last spanking (yeah, I forgot to mention I popped her butt when I saw her chasing the cat with a blanket),...You would think that she learned her lesson. One would think but, NOooOH!

I am off to the side of the kitchen changing the loads of clothes and there for am not in sight when my daughter comes back in the kitchen. She didn't see me so she walked up to the cat and popped him on the head and tried to pick him up.

...

So what do I do? I walk up behind her (all quiet like) and pop her on the head.

"put the cat down, now. go sit up at the table and stay there. i am not going to ask you again." Yes, it was the death tone. I didn't have to raise my voice you see because, all who have heard me go there fear to tread there.

So she's sitting at the table with her lip quivering. And I go into a lecture/hissy-fit bordering on tantrum.

"Would you like it if I followed you around and picked you up constantly and tried to dress you in a bunch of crap? And stick you in your closet? Or pop you on the head every five minutes?"

"No, mamma."

"Well, the cat doesn't either. Do you want me to get rid of him? I can give him to somebody who'll take care of him better. Is that what you want?"

"You can't get rid of him!"

"Oh yes, ma'am, I can! I'm the Mamma. And I'm going to get rid of the cat if you can't treat him like a good pet!" Yeah, I know. I'm a horrible mother but, I had had enough of it. And at this point the cat wanted to go outside (he is an inside and outside cat) so I follow him to the door. And my daughter starts bawling...

"No Mamma, don't get rid of him!" To which I say...

"If he comes back that means he accepts your apologies and we can keep him but, if he doesn't come back that means he was afraid you'd hurt him again. So, really it's up to him. So say you're sorry and ask him to think about coming back and that you'll be a good girl to him from now on. If he believes you then we'll see him later." And I let the cat out.

Is that just horrible or what?
Is there a better way to go about this?
I'm open to suggestions...

The Deed Is Done :)

What is the total amount of music files on you comp?

Damn, well…let me see. I’m not sure of the amount but, I have close to 12 hours worth of music on my PC.



The last cd you bought is.....

Damn, you can buy them?! I thought everyone just downloaded them from like Napster or KaZaA Light.
Hmm…really it would’ve been I can’t remember if it was Brian McKnight or Hootie and the Blowfish. Though I am really thinking about getting John Mayer’s new CD and maybe even Velvet Revolver.



Write down 5 songs you listen to often or that mean alot to you...

1. That Song by Big Wreck
It’s the my and the Rogue Wit’s song. Ah, it’s best listened to at night in the rain…good times, good times…

2. You’re So Cold by Breaking Benjamin’s
Ah, something about the lyrics that hits a couple of chords with me that aren’t touched often.

3. Run Around Sue
I’m not sure who it’s by but, my little sister, Smokey Smurf and I used to sing it in our ghetto car stereo. LOL. Our mom owned a Geo Metro and didn’t get even a radio in it. So she got a cheap tape player and a bunch of tapes. Most of the tapes she got where “oldies.” So it became some what of an anthem for us…lol.

4. Control by Hootie and the Blowfish
Uhm, you would just have to know the song…

5. Fall to Pieces by Velvet Revolver
Damn it that’s a good song!



Who are you going to stick it to next and why?

Uhm, I’m in a rather bitchy mood today (on the count of I woke up on the wrong side of the bed…so-to-speak) and I’m taking it that this question means who I’d like to beat the crap out of next. It would have to be my oldest brother, just because. He desperately needs the shit kicked out of him so he can be cut down to normal size again.



Who are you gonna pass this stick to? 3 people and why?

Rathwel, Smokey Smurf, and Rogue Wit…there are others but it said three.

Rogue Wit: B/c I like to do that kinda thing to him
Smokey Smurf: For the same reason as my husband
Rathwel: So he can say he has some new content on his page, lol ;)

Good Morning

"Mo-mmy...Mommy mommy mommy mommy. Ets muh sip-py cuhp...fill eht uhhp. Peeeeeees. Peees momm-mommy."

"Okay, alright, Mommy's awake."

My son had gotten up shortly after my husband left for work this morning and climbed in bed with me. Well, we had gone back to sleep but, about 8 he decides it's time to get up. Yeah, it was but it's so hard to wake your ass up twice in a short period of time!

Am I the only one who is like that?

Then I'm a total bear until I have that first (maybe even 2nd) cup of coffee. If I get up of my own accord I'm fine...Maybe even closer to a morning person. Yet, let somebody wake my ass up before I'm ready and I can rip their head off in under 5 seconds.

My son is a morning person. He gets up and is very cheerful and full of energy.

My daughter is NOT a morning person. I used to annoy the crap out of her by going in her room every morning singing the "good morning" jingle I made up. It was always met with, "NOOOOO, It's...Not...Morning....Time...Yet!" Ah, it never ceased to make me giggle.

But in recent months I've not been able to do that lest she be in a bad mood all damn day long! So I just open the door and keep walking now. That way when she wakes up and see that the door is open she'll get up when she's ready.

Her father (Rogue Wit) is like that too. I have to bribe him on the weekends to get up with coffee and something for breakfast (or brunch, depending on how long he sleeps in). I will admit that we all do sleep in till about 9-9:30am on the weekends. I know it doesn't sound like much but it's just enough for me and a lot more for my husband.

I get up at 8-8:30am and start the coffee. I then go around collecting dirty clothes and bed sheets and towels and things to start the washing. I unload the dishwasher, pull the trash if it needs it, and make beds. Then I turn on my computer and vacuum. After I have gotten the kids changed and settled in I then sit down to check my email, my online classes, and my blog. I have to get up on and off switch loads of clothes, mist my lizards and frog, feed the cat and let his lazy ass in and out, and take children to the bathroom. I also have to get up and stretch from time to time because two online classes can require a lot of sitting on my ass reading and typing. I do all of this by 10:30am. I am usually done with laundry by 1 or 2pm depending on what else I'm trying to get done. I know, I'm so exciting on the weekdays. But damn it it's hard to fit everything in if I don't get stepping.

My husband gets up at 6:30am so he can take a shower, take his medicine, and leave for work by 7:15am to be at work by 8am. That's too much of a rush for me. The year that I worked day shift (I hate day shift and have worked evenings and nights since I was old enough to have a job) I had to get up at least an hour and a half so that I didn't have to rush.

So you see sleeping in, though it may only be for an extra 30 minutes to an hour, is awesome!

Does anyone else have a "down to the minute" schedule or am I the only freak?

Did you say, "Bite ME?" 

Check out my father-in-laws newest posts...

One Week From Saturday!

MAN, keeping secrets suck!

So here we go...

I have set my husband and I up for a Sweethearts Weekend. Saturday the 12th from 8am-4:30pm (because I know how much Rogue Wit likes to get up before 9am on a weekend) we are going to be attending a lecture at the National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum in the OKC.
It is a marriage and relationship education lecture.

We will learn how to:

*Talk to each other more effectively-apparently "shut the fuck up" isn't effective, who'd of known?!

*Listen and be heard-I personally can't wait for this one

*Discuss problems-Yeah, we totally need to discuss this "side of the bed shit"...I feel I'm being very generous with the 1/2 foot that he gets to sleep on...he snores, so it's even, right?!

*Show respect for one another-Yes, I am the Queen 'round my house and deserve to be treated with GREAT respect from the wee villagers.

*Protect your friendship-I totally agree. I mean, I need my friends. They were around before him and they'll be around after him.

*Maintain your commitment-(bow down and worship the ground I walk upon) Yes, I totally agree!

I KNOW HE'LL JUST LOVE IT!

It is sponsored by the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative. Check out the event list!

*cough-this is going to be the best gift ever-cough*

Do you think he'll be surprised!?!

Valentine's Day is getting near! 

From ArchieBonkers.com (a link from Rathwel's site)

Yes, it's tasteless but, it's about vampires so I thought I'd stick it here.





Three vampires walk into a bar, and the first one asks for a cup of blood.
The second one asks for some, too.
But the third one asks for a glass of hot water.
The bartender says, "Why the hell do you want hot water? You're a vampire, aren't you?"
The vampire reaches into his pocket, takes out a used tampon and says, "Tea time!"


(Hardy-har-har.....man, that's just wrong!)

10 Things that I am Afraid of (as stolen from ~Kimberly~)

1) THE DARK (yeah, I'm 26 and I can admit it...something might jump out and get me!!!)

2) CLOWNS (OMG! I freeze up when I see them and can't move, or breath, or cry...they are EVIL!!!)

3) I'm afraid of letting down certain people

4) I'm afraid of not being strong enough

5) " " of loosing my friends

6) " " of failure

7) " " of being left behind (God, that was a hard one to write...no explanation, sorry)

8) " " of being intamite with people (I start shaking and come close to tears...and not I don't mean intamite as in sex)

9) " " of crying infront of others (I am not a pussy and I don't cry except on special occassions although there have been quite a few special occassions as of late)

10) " " of hurting someone I care about


Do fears make you weak?

Freakin' Happy Dances!

MY BOOK IS IN!

I'll have it in about 3-4 days!

Dark Secret by Christine Feehan

I've been waiting (im)patiently for months!

And I'll have to wait until I think October to get my Dark Demon book of hers.

Damn it, I love the Carpathians!

I'm going to be smiling for days and days now!

YES!