...tornado season is just around the corner!

Some People Call Me The Space Cowboy...

Damn, I haven't heard that song in a while...LOVE IT!

As I was driving to class tonight I had a hard time not staring at the sky. It looked like a beautifully painted picture. All the shade of blue gave the up coming storm clouds almost a sweet look. The only thing I kept thinking of was...Periwinkle. Yup, it's not sky blue...It was definitely periwinkle.

On my way home I kept trying to get one of those intense moments in the movie "Twister" out of my head. The storm was off in the distance with the sun setting behind the massive clouds and I'm driving straight towards it. Yes, folks, it's nearly "tornado season" and I do live right in "tornado valley."

AND...The Medieval Fair starts tomorrow...Which means we will see some rain. This is just fact. It in no way disturbs the festivities, mind you...Everyone prepares for it. We'll have a really hot day, a really windy day on the slightly cool side, and a wet day. LOL...I love Oklahoma. People make jokes about "talking about the weather," but 'round here...That topic can turn into hours of stories and pictures and people showing you their scars from where a 2-by-4 was removed from their leg. It's just crazy.

I've also realized that people who drive in "rush hour traffic" are imbecile! Road rage has never been a problem for me until recently...Being that I leave to go to class at 4:45 and it takes me about 20-30 minutes to get there! It's insane! I've made it to my later classes inside of 15 minutes before, but they've been later starting classes.

Which makes me remember...

One night...a long while back, the Rogue Wit and I and Pitch4kman and somebody else (can't remember, don't care) were talking about road rage (or something like that, LOL). Pitch4kman came up with his best idea EVER that night.

A license To Kill

{with 3 marks on it}

SO...You have three free kills and then you go to jail.

Think about it.

No one would fuck with anybody because no one would know if that other person still had any marks on his license.

I think we need to lobby the White House with this shit, lol.

The Medieval Fair!!!!

Damn it, I live for this fair!

click the title for more information on the events!

.........(sigh)......... 

Okay...

Everybodie's site's link is back...YAY ME!!!!

ATTENTION

I have not lost the links!

I'm updating the site and will have everyone's links back soon!!!

"Can I give you an anal probe?" 

"The truth is out there, Boabhan." "Who cares about the truth, Mulder?! Get naked now!" 

Control, has left me...so won't you turn around...

Little pieces of me crying
As my head and feet going flying
And sailing and failing and dying

I needed something sure
My want for it was pure
So I lure, so I cure, and endure

Must it feel like falling?
Why does it keep calling?
One ring, two ring…then sting

I cannot grasp the stillness
I cannot take the illness
Desireless and emptiness and will-less

Maybe if I was more able
Maybe I am the fable
My head, heavy on the table

Fly Spankers

It's an amazingly beautiful day today and I'm stuck inside studying for a quiz. To make up for that fact I have opened the window so we can enjoy the birds churping and the cool breezed...not to mention, any excuse to turn off the AC/Heater so our bill isn't so out-rageous.

It's also amazing how red-neck you feel when your children, seeing that the windows are open, ask you for a fly spanker to play with. For those of you who don't know the lingo, a "fly spanker" is actually a fly-swatter." Well, in the middle of Spring there aren't that many around yet, but in Summer we have "fly season." I have about 5 fly spankers so everyone has one of their own.

The really hill-billy part is that my 4 and 2 year olds are damned good at the art of "fly spanking."

...LOL, they've got skills!

Damn It, Ho makes me giggle!

All this morning, I had been pouting and mulling (sp?) around in a "poor me" type mood. [then you add the head ache from me boo-hooing all yesterday evening...and it makes for one cranky bitch]

Then I start checking the blogs I always read (LOL...which is everybody who is linked to me) and I get to Blog Ho's site and I couldn't be cranky and bitchy anymore.

Damn it, that man is pure genius!

So, I missed the math part by 3 points...3 POINTS!!!

Damn it, I was soooooo close!

...another damn semester away now...and I have to take a math class and bla bla freakin' bla crap. I don't know. How can I come out with a 89 average in my Math for Health carreers (sp?), but I miss basic math by three freakin' points??!

I almost made perfect scores on the reading and writing parts...I just needed THREE MORE POINTS!! Somebody throw me a bone here! Three points...3 points.

Okay, so maybe I'm still going through the "poor me" stage...a little, still.

I'm really not stupid. Really, I make A's and B's with one or two C's...hell, I don't know...maybe I am stupid.

Smile

The title is more of a reminder for me than anything else. It's too damn early in the morning and I have way too damn many things to do today. Notice the grumpy-bitchiness. I should be in bed but, there are only so many hours in the day and I must fit 1000 BS things in this one.

I've got to take my daughter to get her shots (which might take hours at the health department but, I refuse to pay for something which is free elsewhere).

Then I have to take her to get enrolled for pre-k TODAY if I want to make sure she has a chance of getting in. It's first come first serve, as it were, for placement in pre-k because not all schools have pre-k and it's not manditory. I would just hold off but, my daughter is ready for school and so am I.

Then after stopping by the bank and picking up lunch I'll be dropping her off at home.

Next it's up to the college to take my compus test which is like, 1-2 1/2 hours and then I have to turn in my nursing application.

Hopefully, I will still have a little time before my evening class starts because I need to work on a research project and I can't be late for that class without pissing the professor totally off.

Then I swear to you, I am coming home and going to bed!

Nerds In My Bed

After a restless night of tossing and turning and bad dreams, I ended up sleeping in about an hour...and I woke up surrounded by NERDS!

No not these nerds...THESE nerds.

The kids had a grand time hunting eggs yesterday. Though, I can't wait for them to get big enough to where I don't have to go, "Psst...ooklay, next to the eetray."

The two sets of grandparents and us got them those prepackaged baskets of goodies. My parents got them two baskets full of nerds candy. It's their favorite and I'll admit to loving it as well. The little farts wouldn't share though. LOL

I hope everyone had a fabulous Easter!

___________________________________________

On a heavier note, Have you ever woke up and worried about becoming JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER!?

I had a dream last night, no...more like a nightmare, where I WAS my mother! Tears streamed down my face and I had to go rinse it in some cool water to try and calm down. Those are the worst dreams...the ones where it fools your mind into thinking that it's real.

I need to call Smokey Smurf so I can get the taint out of my head!

"Sister, I'm not turning into mom, am I?!!?"

Man! I had thought about waking the Rogue Wit but, he was sleeping so soundly that I gave up without much of an effort. After all he did have to get up and go back to work this morning.

I keep looking back on my childhood and thinking. I don't have a "fun memory" of my mom. There's plenty of ones with my Dad in it. He used to embarrass the crap out of Smokey and I when our friends were over. He'd bust into something close to "the robot" and tell out friends that he was a better dancer than the two of us. LOL...we hated it then but, it was funny. That's where I get my since of humor towards the kids. I totally do stuff like that to piss them off! The also was the time my best friend had been over for dinner and Dad smacked her in the head with a pickle. LOL...long story...but trust me it was the funniest shit EVER!!

But...I can't remember one thing that mom ever did with us. My memories of her are full of us getting detention because she was lazy and wouldn't wake up in time to take us to school. That's why we opted to get up before sunrise to go to the before school program on my Dad's way to work. He was never late for work. My mom was never on time...for anything.

I remember her always about to die of some kind of "weird sickness." Yeah, it's called "guilt trip your husband so he won't leave your fat ass disease."

mental note: I will give my children fun memories even if I have to break into 'the robot' infront of their friends and throw pickles at them.

HAPPY EASTER!

I hope everyone enjoys some chocolate eggs or bunnies today. I'm off to take the kids out for a lunch with my family (the good ones not the evil side, LOL) and then it's off to the in-laws (they're good too, just in case you were wondering) to have an egg hunt and some dinner.
OH, and inbetween these two things, I must do some cleaning and the Rogue Wit needs to be fitted for his new kilt. Next weekend is the Medieval fair!

So, eat some chocolate Easter candy and enjoy the day!

You Might Be A Red-neck...

If you have a belt-buckle the size of your nad sack...
You might be a red-neck.

If you think dressing up is akin to the amount of rhine-stones (sp?) you put on...
You might be a red-neck.

I never got past my fascination with the "disco-tech-saddle" they had hanging up over the dance floor. LOL, it was a nice touch.

Consequently, did anyone else know that "Fuck off, I don't want to dance" means "Get me a beer" in red-neck? It's brilliant!

So I had one too many beers and a REALLY strong Long Island Tea...woah. All in all, it was really fun. I felt like I was at a Jeff Foxworthy convention, though. And, I'll admit to being a little disappointed. I only saw one mullet...ONE! Can you believe that? And...with only one mullet, I was really surprised to see about three mohawks! Wranglers, button up cowboy shirt, huge buckle, and a mohawk? Crazy! I really should have brought my camera.

The best part was...they had a "Best Butt" contest with the men. LOL...there were a few really nice looking studs out there but, the guy who won was about 300lbs and wearing some grubby over-alls, without a shirt, and a cowboy hat with a big green feather. LOL...I just can't get that picture out of my head! "I'm Blind!!!" hehehe

There is a part of me that was excited by the line dancing. I'm shaking my head as I write this even. My friend and I have decided that we're going to learn how to do that...really, it looked like fun. Can you see me two-steppin' to "She thinks my tractor's sexy?"

I guess we'll find out, huh....

Oh Yes It's Ladies Night

"All you ladies leave your man at home
"The club is full of baller's and they pockets full grown..."

LOL...I'm being dragged to a country/western dance club tonight.

Yee-haw!

For those of you who don't know...I'm not a country girl, in the music sense at least.
Yeah, I know how to bail hay and track and make fire from a couple of sticks but, it's strictly physical....NOT MUSICAL.

But, I have not gone out with the ladies in a long time...and a drink sounds GOOD!

The best part is...I'm not driving! Yay!

So, just for the occasion...I've donned my biggest belt buckle (which is a butterfly...do you think that counts as country?) and I'm going to do some Two-stepping! That is after my friend shows me how it's done. I can shake my money maker but, line dancing is foreign to me.

I'm going to have to watch "Coyote Ugly" before I go and take some notes...

"Can you SMEEEEEEEEEELLLLL, what The Rock...is cookin'?" 

"What's Love Got To Do, Got To Do WIth It?"

Does anyone else find themselves running around the house in their grubbies singing that (I think it’s by Tina Turner) song that goes “We don’t need another hero” and making sure to be as off key as possible?

I like to do things like that. Loudly. Though my four year old starts screaming for me to be quiet, secretly I think she really likes it. My two year old son (soon to be three) joins in for the noise factor. Ah, sometimes you just have to enjoy those simple pleasures of life…like annoying the crap out of your kids.

Why not? It’s not like they don’t do it to me often enough.

I like to chase them around saying things like, “I’ve got spankings for everybody!”
That really makes them run. Its a little game we play, hehehe.

The Rogue Wit really enjoys the games. I try to make it even more special for him. When he’s around I have to drill my brain and dig back deep for some “old school” hip-hop. Yeah, I know he says he hates rap and R&B and hip-hop…but I think he secretly likes it too.

Most people put up a front about “likes and dislikes” and its all crap. Otherwise, you think they’d keep it a secret as to keep people from knowing about it so we wouldn’t annoy the crap out of them.

Like a gay man in the closet. We can speculate all we want but, we don’t really know for sure until they “come out.”

There’s my bit of wisdom for the day!

I Love It When You Call Me Big Papa!

I drove home with that song blaring. It made me think of getting up at 4:45am and waking my little sister, Smokey Smurf up to get ready for school. We used to watch music videos before our Dad dropped us off at the before school program, other wise our lazy-ass Mother would make us late every day. We went to a private school so there wasn't a bus stop or even a bus route and our parents didn't want us to walk to school...it was a few miles from the house. We, well...I walked home from time to time.

I'm trying to add some things to my blog. I hope everyone enjoys...if anyone can direct me to more blog type things to add to it...I'd be much obliged.

You know, it's a full moon tonight...And Easter is Sunday!

Damn, I hadn't even thought about baskets for the kids...I had to make a mad dash to Wal-Mart tonight after putting the kids in bed. It just kinda snuck up on me. Where does the time go?

I wish there was a "holiday count down" thingy for blogs...anybody know about one?

I was so focused on the medieval Fair that is next weekend that had it not been for my sister asking me what I was doing for Easter...I would have missed it. Damn...lol, my memory is going!

Free Blow Job!

Yeah, you heard me right.

The first man to come over and clean my house...gets a spectacular blow job!

LOL...and the house is really pretty dirty, I might add.

What was it your Mother always said about picking up people on the side of the road? 

Mother always told me not to pick up Hitchhikers...

Authorities are searching for a hitchhiker they think abducted and possibly killed a Chandler woman.
Authorities say McCauley is a transient with schizophrenia who often hitchhikes. He carries a CB radio to solicit rides from truck drivers and frequents truck stops.

McCauley is 5 feet 10 inches tall, weighs 160 pounds, and has blue eyes and red hair.
He shaved his head about 10 days ago and was last seen wearing a refere-style jersey, Stephens said.

Stephens said McCauley used Phillips-Bateman's (the dead girl) cell phone to call a family member in Georgia, who told authorities McCauley claimed he had stabbed a woman to death.

Click the title for the link to the rest of the story...

This happened in Tenn., folks. Be careful when you drive.

She Was Brave (10th Part)

Standing there looking at her little girl so battered and broken, Traci just cried. She couldn’t stop the tears from falling. It didn’t matter who saw her crying now, nothing mattered but her little Tamara.

This was all her fault! If she had just given in and picked up the kids at school, maybe none of this would have happened. Maybe then she’d still be able to hold her little boy in her arms and smell his soft, sweet hair. She remembered his smell, his laugh. It hurt to think about his smiling eyes. If he could look at her now…what would be in those eyes? Blame? Yes, blame…it’s what was engulfing her and taking away her breath.

Traci couldn’t think about her lifeless little boy any more. Instead she focused her energy on her little daughter who was slipping away as she sat there. God, she was so helpless! How can she loose both her babies? The tears welled up in her swollen eyes once again and spilled over her red cheeks. She hasn’t lost her baby girl, yet. Not yet and she wouldn’t if she could help it.
Open your eyes, baby. Please! You’ve got to wake up. Don’t leave me…

As she sat there praying to God to save her child a little portly nurse came in the room. Traci moved out of the way as to let the nurse check Tamara’s vital signs and empty her catheter. It was touching to hear the nurse talking to Tamara and telling her what she was doing.

“She can hear us, you know.”

“Do you really believe that?” Traci’s voice shook with another bout of hysteria brought on by this disaster.

“Oh, yes ma'm. I know she can. You can see on the monitors the brain activity when she’s spoken too.” The old nurse looked Traci over with such sympathy and pulled up a chair next to the bed and sat.

“Hun, you look like you’re about to pass out. Go get you something to eat at the cafeteria and I’ll sit here with your girl and chart.” She handed Traci a little punch card and explained it was for the families of patients so they would be provided with free meals while they stayed with the patients.

“Now go on…you’re not doing your daughter any good in the state you’re in. Get some food and a cup of coffee and I’ll stay with her ‘till you come back.”

“Thank you.”

Traci was thankful for the little, chubby old nurse for being so kind to her. She was even more thankful that her in-laws were gone. It had been hours since she’d been there and yet it still seemed like she just walked in to find out about the…accident. Her stomach had been tied in knots but, now she had to admit that she was getting hungry.

The guilt still ate at her. Nothing she did made it go away. This all could have been avoided had she not gotten so upset with Don. Had she not tried to make a point and been so damn stubborn! Had she thought a little more of her kids than making her dead beat husband do his part! Had she been a better Mother!

The tears fell again and suddenly her plate of food didn’t smell so good. In fact, her stomach was twisting again and turning and she had to get up…she needed some air.

______________________________________

He’d been watching the woman for hours now and became excited as she left the small room in ICU. Devyn followed her down to the cafeteria and still he waited. Everything seemed so strange and he could not help but wait for the trap to be set. Nothing. Now, he was just waiting for the right opportunity to approach the woman. Though, what would he say to her? One did not just approach a human woman and tell her that he’d been tracking her for months now. Oh, and by the way, I’m a vampire. Yeah, he could see that going over real well.

As he was turning it over in his mind, the woman suddenly bolted up and looked as if she were about to go into a sprint. Instinctively, Devyn was behind her and he found his hand on her shoulder before he was able to come to his senses.

The woman whirled around and met his steady gaze. His breath slammed out of him as he finally got a good look at her face. She was Heaven to his Hell. Her jaw was defined and yet very sensual, very feminine. She had huge grey eyes that reminded his of silver pools. They were puffy and swollen, no doubt from all the crying he had watched her do. His gaze fell to her lips and he felt his mouth moisten. They were full but thin and very sexy. She looked so sorrowful that his chest tightened as she stared into his cold black eyes. It took him a moment to even find his voice.

“Do you mind if I sit with you?”

Traci just stared at the man. She knew him didn’t she? She was about to loose it again when he seemingly appeared out of nowhere. There hadn’t been anyone in the cafeteria with her except the staff, had there? That was it. She was just loosing her sanity. Traci hadn’t felt like company but, maybe she needed the distraction.

“No, I don’t mind. I’m Traci…and you are?”

“Devyn, Devyn McGregor. I’m not interrupting your dinner am I?”

“Huh?...oh, uhm…No, I was just a little spooked I guess. This place is quiet and empty at night and I’m not used to being alone. I guess I could use some company.” Her face turned bright red. She could feel the color in her cheeks. Traci was feeling a little silly now that she was talking. He probably thought she was a babbling idiot but, she couldn’t bring herself to care at that point. Any company was good company if it wasn’t her in-laws and she couldn’t face her friends yet. God, she hadn’t even called them yet! What would she even tell them? Would they blame her…forgive her?

Devyn found he was intent on just listening to the sound of her voice. Beautiful. But, she seemed to fade in and out on him. Her eyes glossed over and started to fill with tears and his chest did that crunching thing again. She was distracted. It should have been evident by what he’d watched up stairs. That was her daughter in the hospital bed he had learned from the nurses. Of course she would be upset. This woman had just lost her son and husband and all that was left was her little daughter who was on the verge of a coma. Devyn couldn’t bring himself to be sorry for the loss of her husband and he cursed himself for the joy of knowing she was not tied to anyone.

What was even worse was his need to slip into her mind. It was taking all of his will power not to spy on her thoughts. Especially since her thoughts would take her over like they were now. He didn’t need to spy on her thoughts to feel the deep pain and sorrow she was feeling…and something more. Regret? Shame.

“Are you okay?” It was more than a compulsion it was a necessity as he took hold of her hand and just held it. She was so cold.

“Oh, uhm, yes, I’m okay. I’m fine.” He’d startled her. She was so absorbed in thought that she had forgotten he was there.

“I’ve really got to get back up stairs and check on my daughter. Really, thank you for sitting with me but…”

“Come outside and get some air with me first. I could use a cigarette. Do you smoke?” Devyn put a small compulsion in his voice so she would follow him. The sun would be coming up in a few hours and he wanted to spend a little more time with this woman before he rested.

“Just for a minute and then I really need to get back up to my daughter.”

______________________________________________

The night was quiet in this town and the air had a cold bite to it. Devyn noticed the woman was shivering. In one swift move he had draped his thick leather jacket over her shoulders. He realized just how small and helpless this woman really was standing next to one so powerful. Yet, he felt as if he’d do anything she wanted him to do. He had to know, was this one of the wizard’s traps? Devyn, as a general rule, didn’t socialize with the mortals. They were just a food supply if they were anything to him. Yet, when this woman, Traci, shivered, he felt compelled to warm her. When she cried he needed to comfort her. When he stood next to her, he didn’t feel empty.

“How long have you lived here…Traci?” He felt wickedly sensual when he rolled her name off of his tongue. He lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply before she answered.

“All of my life. I actually grew up in the next town over.” She’d stopped shivering in his jacket. God, it was so warm and felt so good…like he was holding her to him.

“Where are you from, Devyn, wasn’t it? You have some kind of an accent but, it’s not a southern one. I can usually tell them apart being southern myself.” He nodded.

“I’m from a little village in Scotland but, I’ve done a lot of traveling. I suppose that’s why my accent has faded.” It was mostly the truth. Traveling and living for as long as he had did have a way of smoothing off the rough Scottish brogue.

“Wow, I’ve got some Scottish blood. I’ve always wanted to visit there but, I never had the money. When I did have the money I didn’t have the time. If my baby girl gets better, I’m going to make the time.” Tears fell unchecked down her soft cheeks once again. Without thought, Devyn pulled her to him and kissed them away. She struggled for a moment but, as he just held her she went still. He sensed her needing to be held and found that he wanted to hold her just as much as she needed it.

Traci couldn’t find her voice and was struggling to breath. She didn’t like wanting to stay in his arms but, she liked it anyway. It was the first time she felt the pain and guilt ebb since she had gotten to the hospital. Selfish, yes, she knew it was selfish to want to forget her pain but, as she was finding out…Traci was very selfish. So, she laid her head to his chest and let herself drown in the silence of the early morning.

Finally, she was able to find her voice as the first rays of sunlight came over the horizon. Her voice was husky and rough to her ears.

“I really need to go check on my daughter now.”

“I know.”

“I…uh, I don’t want you to think that I just go throwing myself into strange men’s arms. I was just, I don’t know, overwhelmed is a good word for it.”

“I know.”

“Look, I want to thank you for talking to me. It’s just that I…” She couldn’t think with him staring at her that way. It felt like he was looking into her soul. As much as she hated herself for it…she liked the way he looked at her.

Devyn liked the way she squirmed under his gaze. It was some what of a treat to see a real reaction from a mortal. He could force her to do what he wanted and he wanted to taste those lips. Her bare neck was a temptation in and of itself. Yet, he tired of everyone bending to his will. More than that, it mattered to him whether or not she kissed him of her own will and not from his compulsion.

“I should be going myself.”

“Going?” There was almost a panic in her voice and he felt that twisting, aching in his chest again.

“I’ll be back tonight. We can talk over some coffee if you’d like?”

“Yes.”

“Go on then. I know you want to check on your daughter and I’ve kept you from it for far too long. I’m sorry. It’s just you looked like you needed a distraction. I’m very good at distracting beautiful ladies.”

His grin was sinful but, she smiled with him. Traci believed he very much was a distraction to any woman. His long black hair and dark sensual eyes were murder to any woman. Then you add his well shaped body…arms that are strong when he holds you and shoulders begging you to lay your head on them…yeah, he was a killer with the ladies. She didn’t even want to notice his ass. It took everything in her not to watch as he walked across the parking lot.Yup, she was definitely a horrible person. She’d left her little daughter who was slipping away into a coma, alone for hours while she found comfort in a handsome stranger’s arms. What was wrong with her?!

Back Alley Boxing!

Fights among homeless taking police time

By Nick WinklerNews9
The following is a script from a News9 broadcast

Police say they're spending a lot of time breaking up fights between homeless people.

Nick Winkler and Photojournalist Lori Story caught a homeless fight on tape and found a woman working to restore peace.

NEWS 9 report

People who work with the homeless say fights are sometimes deadly. And police who investigate these fights say their time could be better spent doing other things. But one woman is trying to help solve the problem --with sandwiches.

Neither of these fighters have homes -- and neither admits to fighting.

The man on the other hand of these slaps is David Scroggins.

People who work with the homeless say homeless men fight often. Last year, they say, several homeless were found dead on the streets, killed during fights. Michelle Lanham was once homeless -- she makes sandwiches now, and sometimes feeds the homeless for free.

Police say the time they spend dealing with the homeless limits the time they have for more important jobs. Sometimes, the homeless need help police cannot provide.

Scroggins limps to a phone, and says he's calling police. Police show up and twice ask Scroggins to leave; instead Scroggins flips off the officer.

Police arrest Scroggins -- they say he's drunk. Police say Scroggins is headed back to jail for being drunk, three hours after getting out of jail for being drunk.

People who work with the homeless say the number of homeless fights has not drastically increased or decreased recently. They say the problem is persistent, though. Kelly.
Witnesses say tonight's fight started when one of the homeless men refused to lend the other any money for beer and cigarettes.


___________________________

Is it just me or does this seem hysterical to you?

An idea struck whilst reading this article...we could pay the homeless to fight. It would take the place of our "cock fights" and would give the homeless a job of sorts.

It would be simple. The first to die looses and the winner gets a bottle of scope, some ciggs, a whore, and a big mac. Then if they make it all the way to the finals we'll through in a $20 and let them fight it out and they can have a shower plus TWO big macs for winning.

It would almost be as much fun as watching Blog Ho go at it in nothing but a T-shirt against that old Irish guy...but more bloody.

Besides, this way we would be cutting down amount of homeless and giving them something to live for.

A win win situation if you ask me!

Singing The Blues

Normally, I LOVE rainy days such as this one.

I guess I just have a lot on my mind. Yeah, I do...a LOT.

It's funny how your spouse's mood can effect your own. I'd been sick but, I'd been in good spirits trying not to worry about things I have no control over.

Yet, here I am.

I know it's a Libran trait to worry about every little thing...I know this, yet it doesn't make me do it any less.

All of this construction has made us crazy around here. We never fight but, we have for the last month or so. I'm tired of it, myself. I know he is too.

He's a wonderful man and I do love the Rogue Wit but, like all men, he's an ass sometimes. He's in a bit of a mood himself. So before I get in trouble for writing this post: I'm merely venting!

He misses me. There's good reason for that. The minute he gets home I'm leaving to go to class. When I get home from class we're putting the kids to bed and I'm not that far behind them these days. I can't help it...I'm tired. I know he's feeling under-appreciated and I'm sorry if my actions have made him feel as such. I'm feeling overwhelmed at the moment and it's hard to see beyond that. I miss him too.

I'm also a smart-ass blunt chick and I like to joke rough. He's gotten his feelings hurt a couple of times over the last week. We've been together long enough that he should know when I'm joking and when I'm not. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells.

Does anyone ever have those moments when they wonder if they've made the right choices thus far?

Ah, I'm just in a bad mood because my house is filthy, my nerves are shot, and I've got a lot of school work to fit into this and next week! I feel as if I'm falling....

"It's Like this and like that and like this and a..."

So, I am finally over the flu.

Thank you, Jesus!

The shelves for the desk are built and stained.

Consequently, I also have stain all over me. I'm a little afraid to go driving at night because of it. You see, it's a fairly dark stain and I don't want them going "Rodney King" on my ass or something. LOL

Uhm, that was a joke...

....

...I still can't hear you laughing. Yeah, I know it was a sucky joke.

The flu drained it all out of me...what can I say.

I feel like...like lecturing. Hmm...

Tonight's subject: Little girls trapped in women's bodies

When is it that we actually grow up? It happened to me "while" I was pregnant with my daughter, I was 21.
Now this is not to say that I was, Hell...or am, completely matured but, who is at 26?
Some people don't even start down the narrow road to maturity until much later than I did. My only motivation was to be a better mother to my child/children than my mother was/is.
I'm not focusing on men because...well, let's face it guys, ya'll never completely mature. It's okay. That's why we like you. So you can go back to scratching your balls and watching sports.
I always liked to think of myself as more mature than some and to an extent I was. I moved out when I was 18 and had to support myself. My best friend did the same and it was hard for us to understand what these people who lived with their parents and worked were so stressed out about.
It's like they have no concept of how life actually is when it's thrust upon them.
Especially the females!
They want to prove themselves to "their man" and be "what he wants or needs" when that's not who or what they want to be and then they're in a hole that they dug...with no ladder.
To which I think...Hell, you've got hands!!..climb out, dumb-ass but, for most of them the thought of hard work is worse than the emptiness of the hole in which they've dug.

Except for my online female friends and five that I talk to around here, including Smokey Smurf...women suck ass!

Don't any of you deny it! We are bitches...we just are. That's not to say that men aren't ass-holes...because they are!

How are men supposed to understand us when we don't even understand each other?

"Project for the Projects"

In the middle of a break from my cleaning and organizing, I am watching the Home & Garden Network. I love this channel. I love the ideas. Something is missing though.

As you watch all of the different shows one thing becomes quite clear. All of the home owners have money. Even the “Design on a Dime” show has a budget of $500-$1000. And let’s face it…I don’t have that kind of money to through around. It would be nice.

So as I sat there sulking and getting pissed off because we’re poor, a thought came to me. I should start a design show!

I’d call it: “Project for the Projects.”

We’d have a budget of $50-$100 and there would only be one show a year (you know, when they got their taxes in).

The first day we’d spend cleaning up the cat poo and digging out the old condoms that were stuck in the couch. I’d show them how to use the vacuum or if it didn’t work I’d show them how to use a broom to get most of the nastiness up.

Seeing as how Government Housing can’t be painted, we’d have to skip that and focus on things like window treatments. After all, the sheets they have hanging over the windows are in much better condition than the ones on their couches and beds.

We’d go to Dollar General and spruce up the place. I mean, with our budget we have to make it stretch and we’d recycle things around their house to add some character. Beer bottles with melted crayon designs make for beautiful candle holders or stick-incense holders for when they’re getting high. We’d get an old cigar box and decoupage it in a matching theme for them to put their paraphernalia in.

As for organization, well we’d focus on utilizing the drawers, cabinets, and closets to put things like clothes and dishes in…I mean, instead of on the floor.

To save some more money, we’d go out one night and “find” some bargains of our own. Gosh, people just leave their garages unlocked and their filled with all kinds of shit. Like furniture and stuff. Don’t forget to get the extra thick latex gloves! We don’t want to leave finger prints.

When our project was complete we’d sit down and smoke a big fat bowl with the new bong we made from: a garden hose, a spray painted gold bucket (to match the new décor) and 1/2 a three liter bottle with stars decoupaged in stream lines while we all watched COPS.

The Better Side of Crap

Yup, I know I'm getting better when I'm feeling like the better side of crap.

There's a better side? You say...

After the last few days I've been sick...you'd better believe it.

It's so hard to feel sexy when your face is bloated twice it's original size due to sinus pressure. Your lips are dry and cracked and splitting because you can't breath through your nose. Your hair is wild and unruly because it hurts to comb it...Damn it, I'm sexy!

Then I sit here. Thinking and thinking and thinking. Wondering what to put down in words. I know my life is book worthy but, I can't seem to think of anything GOOD to put down today. So in honor of friend, pitch4kman, whom I just found out reads my site...I have a somewhat whimsical story.

For those who know me, they know that I'm blunt. I don't get embarrassed easily (unless some dumb-ass recites poetry in a rap style to me in front of my whole class). I say what I say and what I say.

The Story:

Well, I believe I was still pregnant with my daughter at the time. So this was like...five-six years ago. We lived across from Pitch4kman...I mean right across from him. Our apartments faced eachother and we could even wave at eachother from inside the apartments and be seen.

Now, Pitch4kman and wife (X-wife now) had split up (again) and he was dating this young gal. Not that I have anything against younger people but, this one was particularly immature. (Sorry, pitch4k, not meaning to cramp your style, man).

One evening, Pitch4k and his woman (girl, LOL) invited the Rogue Wit and I out to Mazzio's with them. It was really the first time we got to know Pitch4k's woman (we'll call her Black Beauty...LOL!!).

Apparently, I was supposed to be on my best behavior...though, no one told me so. I don't take hints very well either so the stage was set. I'd managed to squeeze my pregnant ass in the booth and we waited for the waitress (or waiter...seeing as how this is my story...we'll make it a handsome young black muscled beef-cake of a sex god who took our every order and hung on our every whim!!).

Now, I never really learned how to make small talk...still don't really know how. I try to wing it, ya know. This is not to say that I can't talk for hours and hours on end...just babbling about nothing. I've come from a long line of long-winded morrons(sp?)...so I come by this naturally. And as we're sitting there the silence is overwhelming. I remember some fidgeting and squirming and somehow we got to talking about one of the female pass-arounds that Pitch4kman and Rogue Wit knew. Uhm, as to not give away her name we'll call her Tebora.

As you all know by now, I have an opinion on everything and she was no different. This girl, Tebora, though not while I was dating Rogue Wit, gave him a BJ for his birthday one year. They weren't dating...they hadn't ever kissed...nor had they slept together. Tebora had slept or given BJ's to every guy in their little group. (Can we say...HO? I think we can.)

This is what I believe and what I informed Pitch4kman, Rogue Wit, and Black Beauty. Under no circumstance do you give someone a BJ unless you've already slept with them....A LOT! It's just not lady like. BJ's are saved for special occasions and you really have to want something bad or really really really LOVE the person. This does not infer that I am bad at the art of BJ-giving...not at all. I've got a pair of beautiful clover diamond earrings from an X after a particularly good BJ session...if that tells you anything. It's the sign of a true lady. BJ's are special! Men have to work for them and it just goes to show you how much of a floozy this girl, Tebora was to just give them away. I mean, sure, they guys liked them...But, she lost the respect that ladies hold over men by doing so.

The truth to it is...whenever one of the guys in their group talked about her it was in sarcastic over-tones along the lines of..."if you know what I mean."

Needless, to say...Rogue Wit smiled at my declaration; Black Beauty sat in stunning awe of the revelation I'd just given her (it was a look of: "Damn! She knows the truth about me!" LOL!--just kidding); and poor Pitch4kman turned beat red. He didn't expect a "female" to have such an elaborate opinion on something so controversial.

...I do so enjoy making that guy blush. "It's one of life's simple pleasures."

Happy St. Patrick's Day

I hope everyone has remembered to wear green today...and that everyone has a wonderful St. Patrick's Day!

It was my intention to go out tonight....BUT, I'm still sick with the flu. I wouldn't wish this shit on my worst enemy.

Well, I've got to go lay down...seems that's all I can do. If I'm up for too long I get dizzy...I know, poor little ol' me...boo-hoo-hoo, princes...

And for those of you who aren't wearing green....

*PINCH*

Fill In The Blank

I don't wanna grow up
I'm a toys-R-us kid
There's a million toys at toys-R-us
That I can play with
From bikes to trains to video games...

(something something something)

...I don't wanna grow up
Because if I did
I couldn't be a toys-R-us kid

Haloscan!

It's not that I disliked your comments because it is actually quite the opposite. Due to the "blogger demons" and their "gremlinish" antics with the comments...and after I've been pestered by all to change anyway...I changed to haloscan.

YAY! Haloscan!

So, my lovely flock...you can all comment once again and make me feel special.

...what are you waiting for? Go ahead, comment...tell me how much you LOVE my "buns of steal!"

This is as much as I'm posting tonight, though...

Sorry

I have THE FLU!!!

I actually got bitched at by my doctor for driving myself and my kids to see him. He told me I wasn't fit to drive because I was so sick. I then had to explain to him that Rogue Wit can't afford to miss anymore work for a while and we only have one car. Hence, I took Rogue Wit to work (all the damn way up in the city) and the kids and myself to the doctor. Yeah, they've got it too but, they are at the end of it and are mostly suffering from the ear infections which the flu brought on as a secondary illness. Yay!

So, the kids and I must take medicine 3 freaken' times a day...and I've got cough-syrup with codeine. That shit knocks my ass OUT!

AND...

Just to add insult to injury...

The Rogue and I were putting the children to bed. We've got this little "routine" shall we say. My son is OCD like his Momma so we have to follow the routine for the most part.

Here's how it goes:

Bath time about 8-8:30pm
Medicine right after they are dressed (if there is any)
They get a snack and a cup to take to their room with them if they want
My daughter sleeps on the top bunk in her room and we tuck her in last
-she is either "air-planed" to the top or climbs like a big girl
-we give her a kiss and a hug
-then tuck her in
My son sleeps on the bottom bunk in his room and he's (obviously 1st)
-in order to tuck him in you 1st need to make sure his dolls are in bed
*the noise bear
*Tinkywinky
*La-la
*Po
*Bert (from Bert and Ernie)
-then you must kiss them from left to right just as I have listed them
*except my son sleeps between the Teletubies and Bert

Well, we couldn't find that damn yellow tubby!..La-la.

So I go to search because the little fart will not go to sleep without it. So I walk into our my bed room where I have been passed out in since I got back to the house with Rogue Wit. There are a bunch of pillows about on the floor. So I, being ill and feeling lazy, kick one of the pillows with all of my might!

Big mistake!

I have mentioned that we're doing construction, right?

When my foot connected, or shall I say baby-toe, I went down. I saw stars! I felt nauseous...and I made a big baby of myself laying on the floor crying.

There, under the seemingly harmless pillow...was a sledge hammer.

My poor toe...it's now the size of my big toe and a gruesome shade of purple.

So what have we learned today...never kick something/someone because you think it's soft and will just get out of your way...there could be a sledge hammer underneath!!!

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Hot Damn!! 

CRYING OUT TO YOU

My heart cries out to the barren sea,
It sings sweet songs to the ocean.

My soul cries out the mighty winds,
It asks for strength and wisdom.

My mouth cries out to touch your fire,
It craves you like a drug.

My hands cry out to touch you, lover,
To embrace this timeless love.

That's my brand new nephew! Alexander Clayton! 

IT'S A BOY!!!

My sister, Meg, gave birth to a beautiful...wait, no...handsome baby boy by the name of Alexander Clayton! He was born around 6:15/6:30pm (not for sure because they had to take him out rather than the natural birth) and he is 8 pounds 6 ounces and 20 inches long. He is almost as cute as my little boy, Aiden was...though I'm kinda biased.

I got a call this morning from my Step-mother and snapped at my husband for bringing me the phone before I got out of bed. Then he told me:

"Marty, wants you to call her. Megan's water broke."

"What!? You should've given me the phone!"

LOL...see how us women are!

So I head up there without doing my hair, without make up, and without eating anything. Not good because I'm hypoglycemic. I get there and they were hooking up the epidural and then she was fine for a while. She was progressing great, bless her heart. Her hips just weren't wide enough to pop out this big ol' kid! After 3 hours of her husband and I on either side of her holding a leg and counting: 1..2..3........10 the doctor decided it just wasn't going to happen. She was just too tired and the baby was just too big for her little hips.

It was hard on her. She cried a little...she'd worked so hard and then they had to take him anyway. I had to go down stairs and get a snack so I could:
1) not pass out because I hadn't eaten
2) get away from the crowd so I could shed a few tears myself (I get pissed off if I cry and especially infront of people)
3) I wasn't feeling good and I used to work at this hospital...I wanted to see if I could find my old supervisor and ask him for a couple of the sinus pills they keep for the employees...no luck though and I didn't see a single face that I knew, probably because I worked evenings and it was day time

So I finally got to see Alex and I took a "butt-load" of pictures. Then I headed on home to take some sinus pills and to find out that my son is running a temp of 102.2*...not happy about that. He's on anti-biotics as it is...he isn't supposed to be able to get a temp while he's on the anti-biotics. Oh, well...I'll call the doctor tomorrow.

And yesterday, I was at the In-Law's playing with power tools again. So...sorry for not posting. I'll try to get some pics of my nephew up in the morning but, right now...I think I'm near death (can't you see the drama...my hand to my forehead as I fall lightly to the floor!).

India - I Love The Night Life (Cover) Lyrics

Please don't talk about love tonight.
Please don't talk about sweet love.
Please don't talk about being true and all the trouble we've been through.
Ah, please don't talk about all of the plans we had for fixin' this broken romance.

I want to go where the people dance.
I want some action ... I want to live!
Action ... I got so much to give.
I want to give it. I want to get some too.
Oh, I ... Ohhh I ...
I love the night life,
I got to boogie on the disco 'round, oh yea.
Oh, I love the night life, I got to boogie on the disco 'round,oh yea.

Please don't talk about love tonight.
Your sweet talking won't make it right.
Love and lies just bring me down when you've got women all over town.
You can love them all and when you're through, maybe that'll make, huh, a man out of you.

I got to go where the people dance.
I want some action ... I want to live!
Action ... I got so much to give.
I want to give it. I want to get some too.
Oh, I ... Ohhh I ...
I love the night life,
I got to boogie on the disco 'round, oh yea.
Oh, I love the night life,
I got to boogie on the disco 'round,oh yea.
Oh, I love the night life,
I got to boogie on the disco 'round,oh yea.
Oh, I love the night life,
I got to boogie on the disco 'round,oh yea.
I love the night life,
I got to boogie on the disco 'round, oh yea.

Soap Box Super Star!

Far be it for me to climb my ass up on a soap box and preach but....I'm gonna!

Now, for all of you, my flock, I wish to speak about the evils of the anonymous commenter! Yes, even I, the HOT SEXY little vixen you all know and love (some love me more than others and some I love far better and faster and harder...Cough, than others) have had my share of problems with the "anonymous bitches!"

This is why they are unable to comment on my blog.

Maybe I get this from my young adult-hood...I don't know. I do know that if you want to say something, be it bad or good, you should be man or woman enough to do so as yourself.

When I first started this blog I had some bastard leave an anonymous comment but, was stupid enough to mention part of his blog title...And though I may be blonde, I am smart enough to put two and two together (that's 5 right?) and confronted that bastard! Naturally he never responded probably due to his embarrassment of being found out.

What was that "golden rule" we all (should have) learned when we were young?

"Do unto others..." Yeah, I like that one but, it's not...The right one for here.

Ah, I've got it.

"If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all."

It's also been my experience that people who leave nasty comments aren't worthy of my time as it is. So I say, FUCK IT.

Ah, such eloquence...Such drama...Such fantastic ratings!!!

If all else fails..."fuck it!"

Some times, I hate cyber space because there is no face to a name and other times I really fucking hate it because you can't bitch slap people. Ah, so it is.

But, what do I know...I'm just from Oklahoma!

I know how to catch a rattle snake. I know how to follow a trail. I know how to do a little tracking but, I'm not the best at it. I've bailed hay. I can tell if a snake is poisonous or not by just looking at it and not knowing what kind it is (though because I LOVE reptiles, chances are I know what type it is). All in all if the world were to loose electricity I could keep myself and my children alive. That's something, right! LOL...And I know how to take cover and stay alive through a tornado...That, my friends, is award worthy. Though I'd probably be a widow afterwards because my husband is an idiot during tornado season and likes to stand outside...Watching the storm.

So...Who's going to marry me when the Rogue Wit gets swept away to "Oz?"

Men are like....

Men are like .......Laxatives . They irritate the crap out of you.

Men are like ....... Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like ...... Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.

Men are like ...... Blenders ..... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like ....... Chocolate Bars ...... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like ...... Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like ....... Department Stores ...... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

Men are like ....... Government Bonds ...... They take soooooooo long to mature.

Men are like ....... Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like ...... Popcorn . They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like ...... Lava Lamps ...... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

Men are like ....... Parking Spots ........ All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

* I got this from a friend in an email...she's always sending me some good stuff!

Thank GOD Spring Break is Here!!!

Alright, I went to go take my mid-term in Native American History at the college last night.

After spending all day reading over every single hand out the man had given us (56 of those bastards) I reviewed all, and I mean ALL of my notes.

He had told us there would be two parts to the test: Part One would be essay, of course, because he just LOVES essays. We would get to choose which one we wanted to answer out of a few he would list.
Part Two was to be fill in the blank.

Well, again I must convey how much my professor LOVES, I mean L-O-V-E-S essays. There were two parts. The First Part we had to pick one out of the four listed and write an essay over it.

The Second Part was not fill in the blank. Or if it was that was the most comprehensive "fill in the blank" I've ever dealt with. For this part, Part Two, was also Essay. We got to choose three out of the six and write essays over them.

Even though I'm bitching because I ended writing a total of eight pages inside of two hours and my hands were killing me...I at least know I passed with flying colors! I know I made an A! And it's about damn time I got higher than a B in that class. I know the freaken' material...It's just those DAMN hand-outs that my professor loves. He loves hand-outs and essays...and usually the essay is over the freaken' hand-outs! So it's a two for one special!

Anyway, I apologize for the lack of interesting things on my site as of late. But, bla bla bla....bitch bitch...Like ya'll really want to hear it. My daughter is running a fever today. She was yesterday too and we're having to keep a close eye on her. Thank goodness my son is still on anti-biotics so I don't have to worry about him getting whatever the girl has. I just HATE it when the kids are sick. I knew something was wrong when all she did yesterday was lay on the couch with a pillow and blanket and so far that's been what she's done today as well. My poor baby.

><

If you have to say, "I'll try" then you've already decided that you can't do it.

...So sayeth Boabhan Sith, Queen of her domain!

I find myself awake at times like this.

Unable to sleep and yet so tired.

My mind races until the world is spinning in all directions.

...Until my stomach clenches and swirls with the weight of it all.

...Until I have to climb out from the covers and ponder all things.

Yet, what am I in the grand scheme of things?

How do I fit in?

Or do I?

Male PMS

I was listening to some talk radio yesterday on my way to school. They were discussing "male PMS" and asking people to call in and tell them what they thought.

Most of the callers, as you can imagine, were women saying that, yes, it was true. Men do have PMS just like women only they don't have to deal with the "flood gates of hell" for a week.

I particularity enjoyed one woman. She called up and said that one week out of the month her husband would bake cookies...All week long. During that week if you talked to him he'd bite your head off but, after that week he was just fine. I thought this was hysterical! The lady went on to say that they have 6 children...ALL GIRLS!

Yeah, if I were a man...That would give me PMS too.

There were a few male callers who said they feel as if they go through a type of "PMS" during the month.

So I'm wondering...Is there really such a thing as "Male PMS?"

I found this article on what they call "IMS." You be the judge.

Getting a late start today...

I'm posing a question and this question is sparked by Pirate's recent post.

Why is it that men in general will not take a crap anywhere but at home?

Now, I know I hear ya'll laughing but, this is serious. (LOL, mostly) Being a woman and able to squeeze it out inside of a few minutes and be done with it...I am not able to understand the man's "thinking time."

Even Ho, mentioned his time sitting on the pot reading. I'm just never in there that long. Yet, I'm sure if I was a man it would take me about 1-3hours to do my business. This topic has been discussed by myself and my closest friends and family before...Actually many occasion as we are medical and fascinated by all things that make fart noises and other people go, "YUCK!"

Is it a territory thing? You would think they would want to crap everywhere then to expand their territory. Hell, I know they brag about their raunchy farts like there's always a contest going on. (Okay, so me and Smokey Smurf are down with a farting contest too...I'll admit it)

But, why can't men "do their business" anywhere but home unless it's an "emergency."

-Too much Information Here-
When Rogue Wit was working as a parts driver he would just stop by the apartment, take a dump, and leave off back for work. Like freaken' clock work!

As you can imagine, I was like, "Thank you very much, love, for stopping by and leaving me with this stink." A stink so bad it was visible to the naked eye and tangible even...It reminded me of a moldy cloud of fog that would sift through my apartment. Hell, sometimes I was sure it was watching me...following me, waiting to strike when I least expected it!

Can anyone solve this mystery for me?

So What Do You Think?

Right, I have this friend (Yeah, I know...It's hard to believe but, some people actually really like me) and her and her husband are having "problems."

They're in the poor house like us. She works part time (she's an LPN) and he works as a delivery driver. Now, she's in school to get her RN just like I am so it's just a temporary poverty but,...Well, it's temporary. Her husband's job is crappy and he's just a big kid. He doesn't enforce "house rules" such as: bed time, groundings, dinner!...Things like that. On top of he wants to spend all of this money that they don't have on crap and then they can't get any groceries.

Well, needles to say she's in charge of the money management. I can totally understand that as I am also in charge of the money but, it's not because my husband doesn't think about the kids...he just doesn't take into thought things like: diapers, gas, medicine, bathroom supplies, kitchen supplies and that kinda stuff. Which, I am finding out, is a very common occurrence with men. I wonder if they think there are magic fairies who float around refilling the shampoo bottles and making sure we have TP. LOL

Damn, it I always get off the subject. Okay, well last week my friend's husband ('s unlces dog's sister's aunt...Sorry, lol) opened up a checking account with out her knowledge or consent. Second, he wrote a bunch of checks that ate up half of his paycheck with out her knowledge and consent. This means that she must go and stand inline at the food bank and beg for a few free meals for her 3 children. On top of this, she has congestive heart failure and has to take medicine for it...I'm hoping she will be able to pay for that.

They've gone to marital counseling before but, he doesn't want to this time. Personally, I think he's either gambling again or is making a move to leave. I didn't want to say this to her but, it's what it sounds like. Why else would he open a separate account and deposit his paycheck in there when he know's that his paycheck pays for all of the bills?

I've learned over the years that you can't give advice. You can't be judgmental. You can't interfere lest ye be blamed!

But, it sounds really fishy to me. I had to bite my tongue to keep from telling her to "Fuck 'em! You can do better without that bastard!"

If it was me, that's what I'd do but, it's not me. I had already told Rogue Wit when we got together that he would be my last serious relationship one way or another. If anything ever breaks us up...I'll just have to keep a few men on the side for when I'm feeling "lonely." I'm not going to get married again and I'm not going to "live" with anybody but the kids again. Does anybody hear me on that? Relationships shouldn't make us happy because they can't. If you can't make yourself happy then NO ONE ESLE CAN. I'm a firm believer in "No Rebound!" If you aren't happy being alone then you shouldn't be looking for a man.

I know, it's only my opinion but, I swear I've seen to many fucked relationships and it was all because they "didn't want to be alone." Most of the time if you're tired of being alone, well, you'll settle for the first or second thing that comes along. But, everybody knows they put the good produce way in the back...You just have to dig around for it...And the good ones don't cost anymore than the bad ones.

...Well, there's my "Oprah Moment" for the week!

Devona and POWER TOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I believe they go together quite nicely.

Well, today didn't turn out anything like I was hoping but, we still accomplished much. It was my hopes to get the shelves built. I am seeing now that construction is a slow process of time and materials.

Hmm...

Yes, it's still worth it...no matter how long I think it over...it's still worth it.

I went down to my In-Laws this after-noon and I made drawers this after-noon. My Father-in-law let me use THE TABLE SAW!

Did I mention I have an awesomely freakin' cool Father-in-law? I do.

Then, after I cut the boards I got to glue and nail them together...with a NAIL GUN! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE the noise it makes when it sends a nail shooting at hyper-speed into a board. It almost made my moist...Damn. (LOL)

Yet, I didn't get to work on the shelves. It was not because I didn't have the energy but, because my poor Father-in-law had already worked his ass off this morning at his Mom's. You could tell he was tired. And, where as I am learning how to do carpentry, I must stress the word LEARNING. Hence, I must be told-shown what to do. After that I am perfectly capable...it's completely awesome.

....This has nothing to do with power tools but, I thought I'd share the humor.

Last night my daughter was with her grandparents so it was me and my boys...that is my husband and my son. My son plays well when his sister is gone. He'll be back in his room playing with cars and his army men and Spongebob toys for hours.

Well, we were all on the couch watching TV. I'd stopped and gotten my son a Happy Meal and he got this plastic thing that throughs a little plastic basket ball. Okay, McDonald's is really getting cheap here. I remember when we used to get cool toys in the Happy Meals. Does anyone remember the "Halloween McNugget Toys?" They had a mummy, a vampire, frankenstein and I think another one but, I can't remember what is was. At any rate, when I got a Happy Meal at McDonald's (seems like a century ago) I got toys that were fun and you knew how to put them together. You didn't need instructions. They were just as good as any other toy.

...Off the subject again, sorry. Well, I put the little plastic basket ball in my husbands belly button. Then my husband would suck in his stomach and then catapult it off with a "Bing!"
Needles to say, my son, thought this was DA BOMB and I must admit at being pretty entertained as well. So, we do this for a good ten-15 minutes (might of been longer...but, for the sake of my dignity as well as his I've shortened the story...see it saves the dignity, right?)

After a "while" my son got board with it so I put the basket ball in his belly-button and..."BING!"
So we played that for a while longer as it was MUCH FUNNIER when my son was doing it.

...Okay, so maybe you would have to have been there...

LOL

I'm a CRAZY bi-atch!

I woke up this morning a little peeved that I was ripped from "The Rock's" hard -yet tender- embrace. I roll over and my husband and son (who has taken the liberty of crawling into bed with us in the morning regularly) are giggling.

Boo-freakin'-hoo, princess...I know.

Uhm, nothing to really write about save for more construction!

YUP! I've got the outside of the cabinet up for my art closet. I'm a crafty type woman and need places to store my paints and salts and yarn and sewing machine...and all the other crap that I do when I have time. It will be nice for me to find my shit when I need it instead of, "Baby, have you seen...." Which by the way does not work!

I have learned in my 26 years on this planet, that if you don't know where it is...then it'll be a cold day in HELL before he does.

...I got to play with my Father-in-law's powers tools today. I routed the desk edges. It was awesome! Men really do have better toys. They stand there looking all manly but, don't really do much because the TOOL does it for them.

...Kinda reminds me of sex. LOL! (Joking babe....hehehe)

Tomorrow we'll make the shelves for the desk and I'm going to be doing most of the work. Yes, it is scary to see a power tool in my hands. Do I care? Go on...just ask me.

I've got this whole room painted and I've started the texture for the adjoining room. That should take me about a week, hopefully less or not too much longer. Spring break is coming up! YAY!

Now don't get excited. I don't go to Florida in an "itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny-yellow-polk-a-dot-bikini" and get plastered. I have kids. AND, I have never been to Florida by the way...it's not on my "places to visit" list.

So just what is a hottie like me going to be doing? (I know you're asking it.)

I'm going to be finishing up these rooms. Aren't you listening? Paying attention?

Don't make me spank you!!

I SOOO want to lick the sweat off of this man! Oh, he's so shiny and hard! I...must...rub...The ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!  

So...I had The Rock come over this morning after my husband left for work. He's so wonderful. He got me this plant which he's watering for me. He said it was to remind me of him while he's gone...well, it is big, hard, and long with sharp edges! I'll miss you while you're gone "Bubba." That's my code name for him so Rogue Wit won't catch on, hehehe... 

Gather 'Round

Yes, my flock!

The time has come for you to make a donation of your faith! Of your servitude and devotion! The time is now and we need those donations!

"Mamma needs a new pair of shoes!"



Onto a serious note: When things look their darkest you can rest assured that you are almost through the night.

...lonely today...

...won't somebody come play?

If you could be someone else, who would it be?

Gangrene!

It's not a pretty picture...but it's one of the one's we were looking at in class the other night.
I'm surprised I was able to find it on the web.

Here it is...CLICK.

Sniff sniff sniff

Another night of wonderfully graphic pictures of nasty bacteria caused diseases and lectures about the many different types and causes of diarrhea. Fun Fun Fun.

My micro-biology class is rather large and yet we were assigned a room that is oh so small. You really get to appreciate that old commercial: "Aren't you glad you used Dial?"

Well, I sit as close to the back as possible. Not because I am a bad student but, because I can get in and out easier. You see I have this giant tote-bag on wheels...And I LOVE IT SO. In it I carry everything I might EVER need, should a need arise. I also carry my lab coat and "powder free" gloves in it. So it is a necessity and I will not stop dragging it behind me. That, my friends, is why I sit near the back.

And it's been fine until tonight...

My professor is very energetic usually but, tonight she was sick. This made the lecture carry on and on and on...And really, how exciting can you make diarrhea sound anyway.

I'm sitting there taking notes and looking at pictures of gaseous gangrene. Nasty! The professor was in the middle of describing the smell when I swear to you...I could smell it!

The funk that hit my nostrils was stank enough that I went into an asthmatic coughing fit. And thank goodness that I do keep everything but the kitchen sink in my tote-bag because I needed some provental badly. My lab partner, who sits next to me in the lecture hour as well, starts coughing too.

It made it's way all the way up to the front of the class...And where else did it have to go in such a small room?

It was like someone had sprayed some pepper-spray in the room because as I looked around there were people coughing and covering their noses with their shirts...Some were even wiping away tears. Damn it was funky.

Then as the teacher started coughing an elderly man in the back of the room stood up giggling and left the room.

And I'm thinking...Was it him?

Reason # 174 of why it's next to impossible to study for a test with small children in the house:

Okay, so I have a test on Saturday...

A big freakin' test and I HAVE TO DO WELL ON IT!

So I'm studying from about 11:30 to now-ish for it. I have to listen to music (as it is for my music class) and be able to pick out different aspects of each piece.

So to insure my "hearing" the music I am wearing head phones. Yup, head phones but, I don't have the volume up very loudly because I have to hear the children.

So I'm listening to Bach, Organ Fugue in G Minor (Little Fugue) when my daughter comes up to me and says,

"Momma, what's Aiden doing?"

"I don't know baby girl, what is Aiden doing?"

"Momma, he's playing with soap."

"What?!"

DAMN IT...DAMN IT...DAMN IT!

So now I have learned my lesson twice over, right?

I guess so. Damn laundry soap...at least it's the poweder and not the liquid.

{The first person to say, "I told you so...and you know who you are!...is getting decked!"}

....so after digging him out of the HUGE pile of powedered soap I pop his hand, dust him off, pop his butt, and send him to his room. While my daughter stands behind me saying,

"Oh, tarter sauce, Momma...now I have to clean it up again."

"No, baby girl, Momma is going to clean it up. You need to go play b/c Momma is in a bad mood and I don't want to take it out on you, okay?"

"Oh, okay."

"I still love you guys."

"I love you too, Momma."

...that made it a little better...but I still feel like pulling out my hair...

I JUST NEED TO GET SOME STUDYING DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could manage but, they aren't running an all day Spongebob marithon today.

(sigh)

Yeah, if there was a "dork test" I'd fail it...badly.

I'll admit getting into some trouble now and again when I was going through "teenager-hell." Yet, I was also pretty good I think for some of the people I hung out with. None of us carried guns and we really didn't drink (very often or much...Cheap drunks) and though we smoked some pot here and there...We weren't those kids who they do the commercials about.

My best-friend, Tracy and I for example.

It wasn't until like the 3rd grade or something (God it seems like we've always been friends but, I was a grade older than her and we sort of remember hating each other for a time) that we became inseparable. She was ALWAYS over and my parents even let her stay the night on weekdays.

We were outside playing volley-ball until 2-3 am sometimes. Other times we snuck out at her house to go walking the four or so blocks to my friend Jeremy's house. The thing about that was that there was a "town curfew" put into effect about the time we were old enough to wander around by ourselves. It sucked! We had to be in our own yard by midnight during the week and by 1am during the weekend. So had we got caught (which thankfully never happened) it would've been something like a $500 fine for each of us.

We had a really close call the one night.

We were at her house for the night. Which was unusual because we were usually at mine but, every now and then her mom would get hair up her butt and want her to be "home." (Not that is was much of one but, neither was mine...If ya know what I mean.) Well, her mom, her mom's boyfriend, and their roommate decided last minute to go out that night and probably woudn't be back till the next day sometime. (See what I mean.) So we had the whole place to ourselves and her dog Missy.

Fade to next scene...

We're on the front porch from like 6 that evening to about 1 or so in the am. We thought we were "the Shiznit!"

We had the big boom-box "tape player" out on the front porch with us with EZE in the tape deck. And being the "good girls" we were, we had it playing pretty quiet as not to disturb anybody while we ate our sunflower seeds. (cough-dorks-cough)

Ah, I remember the lyrics to our favorite song:

"In some pussy is the place to be...
"Always fucking is the life for me...
"Spreadin' those legs out far and wide...
"Somethin' somethin'...Just let me put my dick inside."

(Yup you guessed it, it was a take off melody of "Green Acres.")

Also, another favorite was, "Give me that nut."

Well, there was a small park next to this Church which was right across the street. And after listening to "thought provoking music" for a while...We decided we wanted to go swing, screw the curfew...After all we were home alone anyway.

So, we're up there swinging and having a grand ol' time...Talking and laughing (quietly, b/c we may have been dorks but we weren't complete idiots...Most of the time).

What's that noise? Damn it's a car!

Okay, well it's also a town rule that you are not to be in a park after dark. Shit!

So we jumped off the swings and hid flat on the ground behind this concrete barrier between us and were the "cops" parked on the Church parking lot. We knew it was the cops b/c we could see the light attachments on the car from where we were laying. Which scared the HELL out of us so we flattened out faces to the ground and waited.

And waited...

And waited...

"Devon-o, take a peek and see if he's still there."

"Hell, no...You do it."

(quiet giggling)

"Okay, we'll both look...One, two, three..."

....

"Hey, you didn't look."

"So, you didn't either."

(more quiet giggling)

Then, thank God, we heard the cop pull away. Yet, we stayed there for a little while longer...Just to be absolutely sure they were gone.

And we got up, brushed off the grass and sand and dirt and leaves and nasty stuff that we'd been laying in for over an hour...And as we walked across the street we laughed our assess off. But, we stayed on the porch until we decided to go to bed not wanting to venture off to the park and chance getting caught.

Ah, the good ol' days....

:) my love (:

Let me sing for my love

For all he is to me

Let me hold to my love

Though he be far from me

In darkness you're there

Holding me safe and close

In the blackness I don't fear

Knowing, it's me you chose

I love you to the moon

And then back home again

Though I will see you soon

I missed you in the rain

As those who have gone before me...

I am begging for some recognition...

Please go here and rate my site, and I think you know I mean with a score of 10!

LOL, PLEASE, with sugar on top!

Medieval Fair

Alright, I look forward to this event all year long. It's almost as cool as Halloween!

The Medieval Fair is coming to town soon! Good because I so need some more smell good stuff and I need to look at some half naked men in kilts! (Mostly that)

LOL

My daughter and myself went for a ride last year on an elephant while we were out there. She loved it.

Now let me take you back to the year before that.

{scooby-doo/Wayne's World flash back thingy goes here}

The husband and I packed up the kids, the stroller, the diaper bag, the bottle bag, and the van and headed out to the Medieval Fair. The day was beautiful. The birds were singing, the mermaids were laughing, and even the weather was smiling down on us in an over-cast kinda way. We were trying to meet up with the "evil-family-X-members-people" who had parked at the other end of this HUGE, I mean FREAKIN' HUGE park filled with jesters, a King, a Queen, and all sorts of Fae-folk. On our way to meet them we decided that it would be more fun just to wander around because...We were never going to find them in the huge crowd of weird-o's and fair participants. And we'd wandered around for about an hour and decided that (being as it was lunch time, anyway) we were all hungry.

Ah, the food of the medieval fair is something to savor. You can get turkey legs and eat them as if you were a savage Viking or you can get some Indian tacos....Among anything else you can think of. That day we had a blooming onion and I can't remember what else (if anything b/c DAMN...That thing was HUGE) and a couple of drinks.

It was shortly after we finished eating that we realized our son was stinky and needed a diaper change. No problem, we just had to walk back to the car.

Except that we had to park what seemed like a mile away. It was quite a few blocks...And this is Oklahoma...We've got some l-o-n-g ass blocks.

So we get to the car and...Where are the keys?

I look to my husband who was carrying them. He then looks at our son and starts to cuss under his breath.

"What happened?"

"I clipped the keys to Aiden's seat-belt. I didn't think he could get them off."

SMACK!

Okay, so I didn't hit him but, it kept crossing my mind as we trucked it back to the fair.

We had walked all over that damn fair and it was crowded with people. This was literally going to be looking for a needle in a hay-stack.

So, over the river and through the woods...Across the troll bridge...Passed the house of scented stones and next to blooming onion stand we go.

Nope, nope, nuh-uh, nope...

"I'm not seeing them...love."

"I said I was sorry."

"So what do we do now? It's not as if we even live in Norman anymore!"

"We're going to have to call your parents and have them bring us the spare key."

"So, we're going to have to walk back to the van. GREAT!"

So off we go, heading towards the nearest gas station which has a pay phone...Which was about a mile from the damn fair. My temper in rising with each step I take and I was practically dragging my daughter in tow. So much so that my husband has me stop and puts our daughter in the double stroller that he is pushing as I go marching in ahead.

As if that's not enough, I have to go take out some money from the ATM and buy something to get enough change to make a call on the pay phone...BECAUSE WE DIDN'T HAVE ANYMORE CASH ON US!

So, after calling and explaining the situation...We now have to wait for my parents to drive the 20-30 minutes up highway 9 (on the edge of Norman) to near OU campus (down town Norman). I don't think we spoke at all till my parents showed up. I opted to stay with the kids and my step-Mother as my Dad drove my husband back to the site of the van. Because, I was through walking.

Everyone laughed, except me, and then after the parents left...And I don't know why he even asked!...My husband asks me if I want to go back to the fair for a while or not?

"HELL, NO! I want to go home...The excitement has been ruined this time around, thank you very much."

So we went home.

I was pissed for weeks after and it was then we decided that we should BOTH have a set of keys...For just that kind of situation.

I still have to remind him of the "Medieval Key Affair" from time to time...Just to get a rise out of him.