"Excuse me sir, I seemed to have lost my virginity...can you help me find it?" 

Take a chance...take a, take a, chance chance...

Interesting tid-bits of my life unfold this week.

I find that we are all so a like and yet so completely different in our family, friends, and experiences.

For example: I am fourth out of five kids…I almost had a twin and my mother miscarried before me and after me…they thought my little sister was going to be retarded (Uhm…that’s still debatable…Hehehehe). I am also the only blonde…all of the rest of them are brunettes.

What does that have to do with anything?

Nothing really, but I like to throw that in there…stir things up a bit and make you think.

That’s what I do…think, I think.

Or was that…nah, it’s me, I think…am the thinker that is…

(Sigh)…Anyway, as you have noticed I’ve not been able to post much (with the exception of some hot man flesh to make our eyes twinkle in that oh so fuck me way).

There’s been a lot on my plate for this week and far be it for me not to finish my meal, but DAMN!!!...I’ve got a figure to watch DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!

Tensions have been rising with my final finals coming up. The Rogue Wit and I had a fight Thursday night (if you can even call it that), but we had a LOT of fun making up…so it’s cool.

I’m off for the summer as of May the 10th!

Fucking-A!!!

Well, today is my son’s 3rd birthday and my Dad and step-Mom came by to pick up my daughter like every Friday evening…my son wanted to go. I let him, but I went through what I call “mommy withdrawal.” I had to call and check on my baby!! He’s been gone before, but only when my husband and I were gone and other-wise occupado (if you know what I mean). I felt as if I were having a panic attack…I couldn’t pick up the little fart and cuddle with him before it was time to put him in bed.

It just hit me tonight that my babies weren’t really babies anymore.

They were growing up and I can’t keep them from it. Aiden was so happy to leave with them…he was adamant about going. While they were asking me I thought…NOOOOOOOOO! He’s my baby! He’s too little to have a slumber party with the grandparents, but I knew he wasn’t.

Truth be told…he wanted to go the last several weeks, but I just couldn’t.

I’m up late tonight cooking the different pieces of cake to put together to make a “Gary the snail” cake from Spongebob Squarepants. It’s Aiden’s favorite cartoon and so…that’s the party theme for Sunday.

…just a little depressed tonight...sigh…

RAR!!!

____________________

Have you ever had one of those days...

The minute I think I have the kids under control...they spill shit, break shit, and make a HUGE fucking mess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really just needed about an hour of straight studying...one hour. That's all...is that too much to ask for???

But...who can consintrate when you have a three year old son throwing a GIGANTIC FUCKING BITCH FIT?!

DAMN IT ALL TO FUCKING HELL!!!

I don't think I've been able to say anything nice today, at all...so I'm going to be quiet now.

...&#(#@^)#_(!!!

Some days I amaze myself.

...can I get any bitchier?!?

...drool... 

You're Brigitte Bardot!


What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

How's Your Taste in Music?

Your Taste in Music:

90's Hip Hop: High Influence

90's R&B: High Influence

90's Rock: High Influence

90's Alternative: Medium Influence

90's Pop: Medium Influence

Classic Rock: Medium Influence

Old School Hip Hop: Medium Influence

80's Pop: Low Influence

80's R&B: Low Influence

80's Rock: Low Influence

Adult Alternative: Low Influence

Alternative Rock: Low Influence

Gangsta Rap: Low Influence

Hip Hop: Low Influence

Progressive Rock: Low Influence

R&B: Low Influence

How's Your Taste in Music?

..come hither... 

Dreaming of the Wind

I dreamed that he found me again.
I dreamed that I called him then
And he came to me in the darkness
And he found me in the darkness
And he pulled me to his embrace.

...

I dreamed that I did not resist.
I dreamed that I whispered his name
And he told me the wind knew
And his people were the wind
And he came to me on the wind.

...

I dreamed that I loved him.
I dreamed that he loved me
And caressed me in adoration
And held me in celebration
And told me that I was his

...

I dreamed that I left him again.
I dreamed that he cried again
And he left as if he’d never been
And he took with him the wind
And silence surrounded me.

The Time We Climbed Snake Mountain

By: Leslie Silko

Seeing good places
for my hands
I grab the warm parts of the cliff
and I feel the mountain as I climb.

Somewhere around here
yellow spotted snake is sleeping on his rock
in the sun.

So
please, I tell them
watch out,
don’t step on the spotted yellow snake
he lives here.
The mountain is his.

...sweet and cute... 

Word of the Week!

BLUMPKIN- (n.) the act of giving oral sex to a man while he is defecating on the toilet.

This week and next week are finals week(s)...so I will post when I can...and if I can't I WILL post pictures of HOT MEN!!!! Damn, something about hot & sweaty men that just...does it for me... 

Me

I live by the X-Files slogan and …trust no one.

I hate to cry…and if I do cry somebody is going to be bleeding and I’m not talking about me.

I love to be scared…and yet, I hate it with a passion.

I have stolen pumpkins from a Church before…shame on me, but what were they doing promoting a pagan holiday?!

I used to be a pot head and my X sold…so if I seem a little slow it’s because you can’t smoke 10 joints a day for several years with out having some type of long lasting effect.

I love storms and yet I am scared to death of bad ones…mostly of the tornados.

My life is irony at its best.

I will change my mind about that last statement in five minutes or so.

I will change my mind about it again in another five minutes.

I like to be in control…at ALL times.

I live in my thoughts and I like it there.

I miss my best friends (Tracy, Jeremy, and Christy).

I get bored easily.

I like…no, I LOVE attention.

I hate fighting…and yet, I do it so well.

I...want to know you.

Beautiful! 

look in the back ground...you can see silent Bob! 

:) 

I met my husband at a psychic fair. I wrote about back in the earlier posts of my blog. I didn't give reading, but merely sculpted fairies and sold them. Man, people will buy anything if you say it will bring you love, money, or sex. But today...if anyone wishes a reading, I'll break out my cards and do it...just ask me a question!! (come one, lets play today) 

HOT MAN OF THE WEEK!! 

Thick Wet Carpet

...no it's not my "shag carpet" it's the carpet on the floor.

The freakin' pipes are leaking again!

...............................

"Yes, Operator, get me a plumber."

"One moment, please."

(some type of jazz that's not really jazz and borders on annoying, yet just humm-able is playing)

"Hello, Hard Pipe's Plumbers...This is Peter, how can I help you?"

"Hello, yes, my carpet it wet! I think I have a leaky pipe."

"I'll send some one over right away."

"Oh thank you."

.................

Knock knock...(Pffftft)..knock

"Oh, hello...I knew it was you guys by way of the knocking, come in."

"Yes, man, I'm Dick and this is Big John...show us where the problem is."

"I have a leaky hole and my carpet is now all wet."

"Good thing you called Hard Pipes. We'll have to stick something in your hole to stop the leaking...so your carpet may be wet for a while."

"Oh, thank you Dick...I thought about putting something in my hole, but wasn't sure how to do it right."

"Well, if you lay down here and look up at my big tool...Big John and I can show you how it's done."

.....................................................

So, I have nothing for you guys today...
I'm just pissy because my carpet really is wet and I doubt I'll be having Dick and Big John come show me how to plug my hole.

LOL

All About Vampires...

I have created a blog just for my stories...

I have it in my BLOOD links under "The Other Me."

All About Vampires

....I'm not leaving this one nor using it less...

*smiles*

She Was Brave (Part 11)

{Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, &10}

As Traci stepped off of the elevator she realized she still had that man’s jacket. She was glad. It seemed to emanate heat of its own accord.

“Oh, there you are, hun. I’ve been checking in on your daughter. She’s got some color back in her cheeks and her vitals are good. I’ve got to get ready for shift change but, I’ll see you again tonight.”

“Thank you very much and I’m sorry I was gone for so long. I guess I needed some air more than I thought.”

“You look like it did you some good. The doctors will be coming up to check on her in a few hours and I imagine they’ll want to talk with you. If you need anything just ask, okay?”
“Thank you again, I will.”

Once the nurse had left, Traci took hold of Tamara’s hand and squeezed it.

“Tam, Tamara…Mommy’s here. Don’t leave me okay. I love you. I don’t know if you can hear me or not but, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for this happening but, I’m here now and we’ll make it through, okay. You’re strong and can come out of this. I…I miss you. I miss your brother and I’m so sorry, baby girl. It’s all my fault and I’ll never be able to make it up to you. I’m going to try to though…so come back to me. Please…I love you so much and you’re all I have left. You’re all that matters.” Traci glanced at the monitor and just like the nurse said, the brain waves were very active. She could even see her daughter’s eyes flutter and for a moment Traci held her breath. Please!

Nothing happened. The breath that she’d been holding came out in a low sob and she squeezed her daughter’s hand once more.

“You’re doing good, baby. Keep trying…keep trying and come back to me.”

_______________________________

The knocking on the door woke her, though Traci didn’t remember falling asleep. She wasn’t sure what to think of the group of doctors that walked in. Each of their name badges displayed their different specialties. It was the Neurologist who spoke first and told her what they’d been saying all of last night. She was in shock and if she didn’t pull out of it soon she’d slip into a coma.

God, what use were these people! She was a nurse herself and nothing they told her was new. It shouldn’t have surprised her. Yet, they instilled some hope in her. They were very optimistic because her brain waves were very active. They were hoping with a little physical therapy and coaxing that she’d snap out of it. It would begin that evening. A therapist would come in and move her legs and arms to keep up the muscle tone.

She was glad for the words of encouragement but, was happy to see them leave. Glancing at the clock, Traci sighed heavily. Dena and Antwan were probably worried out of their minds by now. There was no more putting it off; she had to call them. Really, she wanted to hear their voices. At least they were familiar voices and she needed that right now. What she really needed was to hear her daughter’s voice. Or wanted?

When she got off the phone with Dena, Traci slouched down on the couch. She had no more tears. She had no more strength or hope or anything. It was like she couldn’t even feel…she was completely empty. Her friend had offered to make the funeral arrangements for Matthew and Don and Traci didn’t object. It was rather a relief. Thinking about her dead little boy was just not an option at this point for her. And Don, well, she didn’t even want to think about it. It was just too much…way too much to swallow.

Without thinking she grabbed the leather jacket that she’d worn last night…that the stranger had left. Well, he wasn’t really a stranger anymore but, she still didn’t really know anything about him. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she knew him, though. No matter, it seemed of little importance and yet donning his jacket she felt alright. It was still warm. It must just be nerves. That has to be it. Her whole world had crumbled within the span of an evening and her nerves were wrecked. It was really no wonder. She was probably going into a kind of shock herself. Things just didn’t seem real.

Yet, when she looked at her tiny bruised daughter reality seemed to set in…HARD.

Traci pulled up the chair next to her daughter and sat once again. Feeling a little silly but, not caring, she started to sing to Tamara.

“Sing a song of six pence, a pocket full of rye, four and twenty black birds baked in a pie, when the pie was open the birds began to sing, wasn’t that a tasty dish to set before the king? The king was in his counting house, counting out his money, the Queen was in the parlor, eating bread and honey, the maid was in the garden hanging out the clothes, when a long came a black bird and snipped off her...”

“Noooosssssse”

Traci jumped up. Had she heard that? Was it her imagination? Please, God, don’t let it be my mind playing tricks on me!

“Tamara…baby, can you talk? Can you talk to Mommy? Please, say it again.” Holding her breath she stood there, afraid to even blink dare she miss it.
Nothing.

“Tamara, baby…please come back to Mommy. PLEASE, I love you.”

“I love…you.”

Tears spilled down Traci’s cheeks when she thought she had none left. She screamed for the nurses as she stared into her little girl’s beautiful eyes. Thank you, THANK YOU GOD!
Tamara tried to say more but, was wearing herself out with the effort. Traci just held her hand and stayed glued next to her as the nurses came in to evaluate her new condition. They were shining lights in her eyes and asking her all sorts of questions to which she was too exhausted to answer and could only nod. Finally, the nurses left and went to call the doctor. They were left alone in the room together.

“I’m…sleepy Momma.” Tamara’s voice sounded so weak and frail. It reminded Traci of an echo far away from them. God, she was back but, she was still so weak!

“I know, baby. I know but, you have to stay awake for a while, okay? We need to keep you awake so you don’t slip back into shock or worse. Momma’s been so worried about you.” Try as she might, Traci couldn’t keep the shake out of her voice. This was a miracle! She thought she had lost everything and now…her little girl was talking to her. It was too much of an emotional ride for one day.

“Momma?”

“Yes, baby girl.”

“Where is Matthew?” It didn’t surprise Traci that her daughter would be so worried about her little brother. That was her way. She’s always loved that about her daughter.

“Baby, I don’t know that this is the time…” She could see in her daughter’s gaze that she wouldn’t let it rest and something in her needed to know. She needed closure.

“He didn’t make it, baby. Neither did your Daddy. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I should’ve picked you guys up. I should’ve…” Traci stopped short when her daughter grabbed hold of her hand and squeezed. She was a smart little girl. They sat in silence until the doctors came in to check on Tamara. Life had caught them both off guard. It was a hard lesson to learn for Traci…an even harder lesson for her six year old daughter.

____________________________________

Dena arrived at the hospital just before sunset. Traci was very glad to see her old friend and even more glad to see such a response out of her daughter. Tamara always thought of Dena as an aunt. Those two shared a special bond of mischief and Traci wouldn’t have had it any other way.

“I brought you something, stick pole.”

“What?” Tamara’s eyes sparkled with curiosity.

“I got you the whole set of Harry Potter books…well, what’s out so far, anyway. I thought since you’d be stuck here for a little while, you should have some good reading material.” She handed over the neatly wrapped box and the two of them tore into it. Paper flew everywhere and Traci couldn’t believe her ears as her young daughter and best friend giggled like teenage girls at a slumber party. It was very humbling, in deed.

“Traci, I’m going to stay and read to Tamara for a while. Why don’t you go home or head over to my place and take a shower. Get something to eat while you’re at it. You need a break, okay.”

“I really shouldn’t go. I mean, she just came back to us this morning and…”

“And you really need to take a shower.” Dena pulled Traci out in the hall, smiling at Tamara mischievously.

“Look, you need to get some rest and take a break. You have been through a lot, A LOT. Take a break tonight, okay. Just a few hours for yourself.”

“Dena, that’s how all of this happened! I took a few hours for myself yesterday…I’m to blame for all of this! I can’t leave her…I can’t.”

“Trace, girl, just listen to me, okay? At least go and take you a shower at my house and maybe a nap. You’re no good to your daughter in this condition. You can trust me with her.” Tears welled up and barely managed to keep from spilling over on Traci’s cheeks.

“I’ll only be gone long enough to take a shower and maybe get some clothes.”

_________________________________

Making her way through the parking lot, Traci realized she was still wearing that man’s jacket. Devyn. She was supposed to meet him for coffee! Spinning around she sprinted back towards the cafeteria entrance. She’d made it half way across the parking lot and then...SMACK!
The force in which she hit him nearly dropped her on her bottom. It probably would have had he not caught her and steadied her.

“I’m so sorry.” Her blush was from head to toe. She was so embarrassed. Here she was, a grown woman, sprinting across the hospital parking lot and running straight into the man she was going to meet. God, she was an idiot.

“What’s the rush? Nothing serious I hope.” He knew why she was running. It was the way she blushed. Devyn found that he loved that about her.

“Oh, nothing. I…” Okay, so what was she supposed to tell this guy? I was sprinting across the parking lot because I forgot I was supposed to meet with you tonight…and I didn’t want to stand you up.

“You wanna go get that coffee?” It was the best she could come up with. Better to throw them off guard with a question of your own than to fess up to being an idiot.

“Sure. It doesn’t have to be hospital coffee does it? Do you know any good coffee shops around here?”

“Oh, yes. My car’s just over this way.”

“This isn’t a very big town…I thought we could walk. If you don’t mind?” She looked both startled and pleased with the suggestion.

“O…Okay.”

Hot Lesbian Action!!!

~not really~

...Actually, the only lesbian in this story is more like a Dyke (dike?)...

Anyway, I have these annoyances. I was taught not to smack my lips while eating or chewing gum. It's like finger nails dragging across a chalk board. All of my energy is used up when I have to keep from popping my kids across the back of their heads for doing this.

And I have no shame. So if I'm out somewhere and you're smacking you lips...I'm going to jump your ass about it. Yeah, it's my pet peeve.

As you may be thinking...This happened tonight..In one way or another.

You would be right! 1000 points...Except for Ho, he gets 1500 ;)

This bull-dog lesbian who smells like lysol sits a chair over from me. I have written about her before. I don't like her. Unfortunately, something about me must scream lesbian. It must be my up-front-don't-take-shit-off-of-any-body-blunt attitude. That doesn't make me gay, just...Jaded.

Anyway, she apparently has turrets and is half retarded. All during class...All I could freakin' hear was this smacking.

(Pretty Ain't She)

I felt like I was in some kind of sick Edgar Allen Poe poem. After a while I could handle it no more. I leaned over and asked (ask politely as possible) for her to close her mouth while chewing her cud. Really, the worst part of it was hearing her breathing hard while chomping away...I felt ill.

So, she stopped and after class she followed me to my car.

Great.

She was near tears and asked me why I was so intent on turning her down. What?!

I explained to her that she made my stomach turn...Not in the "love struck" sense but in the "I think I'm going to hurl" sense.

I'm going to have to send her to Ho's boot-camp for retards. (which is why he got the extra 500 points)


...LOL, I guess I didn't really have a point...

Scooby Doo Does Dallas!!

I'm rather tired of these new and "improved" Scooby-Doo stories. Scooby-Doo and the Lock Ness Monster, Scooby-Doo in the Cyber Chase, Scooby-Doo and the monster in Mexico...come on.

I want something a little more...believable.

Let me...set the scene.

The "gang" in driving late at night down a long stretch of road way out in the woods and their van breaks down. (See...sounds just like the original ones!)
They walk into the woods a little further and come upon an old run down house. It's probably haunted is the thoughts going through all of their minds.
Yet, even though Shaggy and Scooby would rather leave they must find a phone or some gas or something...because they're stranded.
So...they enter the deserted house and find it's inhabited by a ring of prostitutes!

Yeah, something like that...

BARNACLES

I did some blood typing in lab tonight.

I'm such a pussy...
I can stick and poke other people all day long, but I cringe when someone else has to stick me. AND THERE WAS NO WAY I COULD POKE MYSELF!!

So, my wonderful lab partner did mine and I hers. I opted to be first and get it over with.

........

After a good ten minute prep and several "practices"...and a few deep breaths, I let her poke my finger.

[Now, I should add that I have been a CMA since I was 18. CMA stands for certified medication aid, which means that I have been trained to administer medication, do finger sticks, and give insulin. So I know how this works. ]

My partner, after I gave her the "look, this is how you do it so it won't hurt me very badly" speech...stuck me. Only, she did it so hard that the lancet got stuck in my finger and we had to wiggle it out. (That is NOT how I explained it to her, by the way)

Then it was her turn...

Being the professional that I am, I did not inflict unnecessary pain on her. Yet, I did feel a certain satisfaction when she "Yiped" like a little dog. LOL

After I typed my blood I was asked to walk around and help the rest of the class poke themselves. They were even bigger pussies than I was. That, and after they saw that lancet get stuck in my finger they didn't trust just anyone to do it. It was nice. I felt like I was working at the hospital again.

I do so love to bleed people.

____________________________________________________


Is it just me, or does anyone else like to have an occasional glass of pickle juice?

...just wondering...

Explaining My Life...In Song

I've been tagged by Jerzee...
I thought about it and I picked two songs that I feel explain my moods and my life, LOL.

What Do You Want From Me Now—Hootie and the Blow Fish

Take a little bit of everything baby
I’ll be all right
Don’t just settle for living the lie
That I thought you might

Put on your disguise
Let me see that you’re bigger than me
Tell me that tomorrow
I’ll wake and yearn for you

And when I call your name out
You leave and take a bow
You say what do you want from me

Call off the service now baby
No one really knew
That I would have to leave
But now I’m a better man

I thought you realized
I wanted you but
You left so suddenly
I know I promised but now I lied

And when I kiss you someday
If you feel that you’re allowed
You say “what do you want from me now”

Burn all your candles
Turn out the light
Forget the feeling you’ve been feeling
Deep inside of me we’ll be alright



Out Of Order—Duncan Sheik

I hear what you’re sayin’
I may seem out of order
Nothin’s quite the same now
As it ever was before her
And you’re lookin’ at me
With one of those sideways glances
You say I’m giving too much
And takin’ too many chances

But I won’t believe you now
I’ve got to check this out
And nothin’ you can do
Will convince me otherwise
You’re just tryin’ to be a friend
I know the message is well meant
But none of it does compare to her eyes

Just go easy on me
I’m feelin’ out of order
I’m beaten and I’m wounded
Like I never was before her
And I know you’re talkin’ sense
But I can’t forget about her
You say I’m good as dead
If I keep it up much longer

But I won’t believe you now
I’ve got to check this out
And nothin’ you can do
Will convince me otherwise
You’re just tryin’ to be a friend
I know the message is well meant
But none of it does compare to her eyes

It may seem unwise
You may be right
But I don’t mind
I just can’t mind
It may seem unwise
You may be right
But I don’t mind
I just can’t mind

And I get to tag three people!!!

-Smokey Smurf
-Man in the Middle
-Sarah Laughs A lot

Moody

Haunting is the time of day when you look back.

I watch as the fence sways in the wind. The house is dark, though the shades are wide open. A feeling of foreboding doom lingers in the air. Tornado season is here. The storms are here…yet, for now they are mild.

I remember things. Lifetimes tease my thoughts and I ponder each as they pass. I am past wanting to know why. I am past regret. Yet, with dark clouds forming, an unease sets in.

Storms are beautiful. Nature can be so wicked and so wonderful in one single event.

The fence sways more with each gust of air.

Wind can be so sweet smelling and wonderful when its coolness blows across your hot brow. In the next instant it can be brutal and forceful and dangerous.

We are connected in this. The same breeze that touched your face will eventually touch mine.

Moody. It feels as if I am in a fog. Lost and looking for something…

Un-Bear-Able

I can’t even think about the future at this point. I’m ready for a break, but I’m not sure if it is a break from school I need…or a break from life. I’m not really depressed. As a matter of fact…I’m not really anything at the moment. I’ve got finals coming up. There are a lot of essays and papers and projects that must be done in about two weeks. I guess my brain shut off.
…Or as they say, “My give-a-damn is broken.”
I’d been stressing so badly that my daughter was feeling the effects of it all. The last two days she had crying spells. She’s not five yet and was having crying spells!! I asked her what was wrong, but she only said that she was “just sad.”
So…we spent some Mom and daughter time. I took her to the car wash and sprayed her a few times and then out for some ice cream. Now it is sure to storm a giant-mutha-fucking storm because I WASHED THE CAR! Since I’ve been driving it I have not washed it until now. Wow, it looks good with all of that orange/red dirt off of it!

…I have nothing witty or interesting to talk about. It’s like my muse has run-a-way. I guess even muses get tired of people’s pissing and moaning.

So, I’ll tell you a story:

Once upon a time, in a land far away there were three bears. (No, this isn’t the “Goldie Locks Story.” Although, she may make a guest appearance. Now shut the fuck up and listen!!)
The three bears had been friends for many years. Evne before they were born their parents had been friends…maybe, a little too close of friends. After all this is the bear kingdom and there is no such thing as incest. What did it matter if they had an Uncle Daddy?

When the bears were old enough they moved out of their own and promised to keep in touch.

Years went by and the three of them decided to take a vacation with each other and catch up.

The first bear to arrive was stilling living in their home town and was the same as he always was. So he sat down at the bar and ordered a drink…

“Labatt Blue, please.”

About 20 minutes go by and the second bear shows up. The first bear is surprised to see that his old friend is wearing a tutu and balancing a ball on her nose.

“Wow! Look at you!”

“I’m a circus bear now…do you like my trick? I can also ride a little unicycle and little kids feed me peanut butter.”

While they were talking, the third bear showed up. The other two bears were really surprised when they realized he was wearing a leather collar and was sipping a large latte.

“What happened to you?”

“I’m in show business. I work for Discovery and for Hollywood when they need bears to act in their movies. I look fucking scary on film!”…sip!

So the second and third bear start a long conversation about their wonderful carriers. They compared live performance to movie acting. After a while they looked at the first bear, who had said nothing.

“So, what have you done with your life?”

“Well,” He said, “I don’t fancy having balls on my nose or parading around in a skirt. I don’t act for Hollywood or wear collars.”

“So what do you do then?”

“I take pictures of trees in questionable poses and put them on the internet. Some weird fuck has been posting them on his blog.”


Sorry, Goldie Locks wanted too much money to make an appearance…maybe, next time.

Goin' On Down To South Park...

south park me
Originally uploaded by boabhan sith.

I'm a trendy Mutha-F*&#^a!!

Buckle Up...IT'S THE LAW!!

Okay, where to even start…

This semester I have had to learn to brave rush hour traffic. All of my other classes have been later in the evening. Also, I HATE HIGHWAYS!!! I can’t stress this point enough.

I grew up in Shawnee, Oklahoma. It doesn’t have highways that go through it…they go around it. Why? Because it’s the fucking black hole of Oklahoma, that’s why.

Bitter?

Yes.

So…I have learned the back roads of red man’s land. I know them, I love them, I drive them when ever I can.

Unfortunately I have to use part of a small highway to get to college on time as to not piss off my professors. No biggy. I just make sure to take as many back roads as possible before I get on it.

Well, it worked fine up until now…four weeks from the end of school! You see the Spandex Kings think that rush hour traffic is a good time to hop on their little bicycles and peddle 15 mph along my favorite route. The bastards!

Being the good natured (cough) person that I am…I changed my route. ~For Them!!~

Well, today as I am driving down my “new route” I get stuck behind “Ma” from The Golden Girls. Really…if you have to have a booster seat to drive and you STILL can’t see over the dash then it’s time to give it up!

The speed limit sign says 50 mph. I guess in geriatric that means “we can’t go over 35 mph.” And the purple haired bitch kept hitting the breaks.

AHHHHHH!!!!

Bitch! I have to be on time to take my freakin’ test! This is college…there are no make up tests and if you are late on test day…then you miss the test.

So, we’re going fifteen…then hit the breaks…up to 30…then hit the breaks…25…and she slammed on the breaks. I hit mine and barely missed the Depends Queen and thankfully the guy behind me was paying attention. He slammed on his brakes, locking them and veered off in the small ditch and was hit by the guy behind him.

Why did the Bi-focal goddess slam on her breaks?

To miss a fucking wiener dog!!!

I’d so have run the fuck over that dog…Matter of fact…Who’s up for some Chinese?

It's American Indian Month

Wow!

I've been studying again today. I've got another test tonight in my Native American History class at the college. I can't believe our professor didn't mention it being American Indian Month?

Anyway, I'm going to put up some links for everyone...because I'm stuck doing home work and studying today. Four more weeks...and I'm out for the summer!!!

The Bureau of Indian Affairs

Office of Indian Education Programs

Native Americans of the Plains

Native Americans of the South West

Peoples of the North West

The Arctic

Native American Authors

Native American Organizations

Ed Zachary Disease

A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date or any sex for over 5 years.

She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Tang.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Tang said, "OK, take off all your crose".

The woman did as she was told.

"Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room."

Again, the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr. Tang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me."

As she did, Dr. Tang shook his head slowly. "Your probrem vewy bad". "You haf Ed Zachary Disease". "Worse case I ever see". "Dat why you not haf sex or dates."

The woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Tang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"

Dr. Tang sighed deeply and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your ass."

Oh...the D and the A and the M and the N and the A and the T and the ION...

"Don't blow dry...Blow beautiful!"

*giggling*

Yup, I've got brain overload here...I put too much information in and my mind automatically hits the gutter!

But, come on!! Who comes up with the slogans on these commercials??

So What Am I Doing Today...?

Identify 3 major portals of entry for microorganisms.

The three main portals of entry are the mucous membrane, the skin, and parenteral.
The mucous membranes include the respiratory tract, the gastrointestinal tract, the genitourinary tract, and the conjunctiva.
The unbroken skin is impenetrable by most microbes though some can gain entrance through our hair follicles and sweat glands. Some things such as the hook worm can bore through intact skin and certain fungi can grow on skin and produce enzymes that break down the keratin and then are able to enter into the skin. Microbes that are deposited directly into the tissues beneath the skin or mucous membranes have taken the parenteral route. This is when your skin is punctured or you are cut or bit or have surgery. It is not the organisms that come in through the opening, but the ones that were present on the needle or knife and what-not before you were poked or stabbed or cut.


Contrast CD4+ T cells with CD8+ T cells.

CD4+ cells are T helper cells. They recognize antigens on the surface of the antigen presenting cells and then activate macrophages. This induces the formation of cytotoxic T cell and stimulates B cells to produce antibodies.
CD8+ cells are cytotoxic T cells and are CD4-. They destroy target cells. These cells recognize the antigens on the surface of all cells and kill the host cells that are infected with viruses or bacteria. They recognize and kill cancer cells. They recognize and destroy transplanted tissue. These cells also release a protein called perforin which forms a pore in the target cell which, in turn, causes lysis of the infected cells. The CD8+ cells undergo apoptosis when the stimulating antigen is gone.

...are you guys excited yet!!!??

If you are...HERE's some bloody stuff for you.
I've got to get back to studying for my test now...

What Do You Want On Your sandwich?

Coming home from class tonight I find my husband laying on the bed and the children playing their version of hide and seek ("Aiden, I'm hiding in the bedroom...you can't find me!").

I ask, Rogue Wit what's the matter and he tells me he's just tired and it had just been a long day.

We go through the drill. I ask him how the kids were for him? Have they been good? What did they eat and how well?

He then tells me that they ate just fine, but he kinda lost his appetite.

"What do you mean?" I ask

So he explains:

He'd gone to the trouble of boiling and egg and preparing this and that to make him a sandwich. I prefer just slapping some mustard on some bread and a couple of pieces of chicken or ham. It's easier and faster. Well, Rogue Wit doesn't particularly care for those.

...So on with the story...

As he was about to put the top slice of bread on, my son walks up (non-chalantly[sp?]) and sticks a fresh booger on his sandwich. LOL!

My son is always trying to hand my husband his boogers. I don't know why or what started this, but it's DAMNED FUNNY! (Thank God it's not ME!!!)

Such a Hottie!!! 

Bloody Art!!

In honor of Blog Ho's most recent post, I have done some research on the subject of menstruation.

"As an artist inspired by a romantic notion of menstruation, I find myself amongst a world of bleeding female artists who also find this bizarre cycle an arousing force to create art. A feminine burden, women cannot ignore bleeding for an entire week, on a monthly basis for a good chunk of their lifetime. What is odd is that this amazing natural internal hassle is a socially taboo topic of conversation, and is ‘shocking’ when visually expressed. Why is it shocking, and why does it inspire many artists to create?........"


"In 1998 I joined with photographic artist Gina Macaulay to put together an exhibition evoking concern and controversy. Macaulay froze her own blood, mostly her own menstrual blood and used it in her photographic images. This artist produces shocking images of self-torture, questioning her womanhood with simultaneous hatred and yet celebration......."

You can read about this art and look at one of the pictures HERE.

Since this was taken...we have put the door up and I'm doing the paint touch ups today. My boy is such a faker! 

Remember when you could fill your tank up for about $15-$20? 

Happy FUCKED UP Day!!

Today is “Fucked-up Day.” Really, and it just keeps getting better and BETTER!

[Wait, let me wipe the sarcasm off of my chin…it’s dripping again]

After having a HORRIBLE dream and getting up to get my son something to drink at about…oh, 5:something A-freakin’-M…the day has started off on about the same note.

Let me start with the dream.

In reality, I clean for extra-cash to keep us a float in between my husband’s pay days (which is once a month!!!).
So, the dream was set. I was going to my mother’s house to clean. When I got there it was swarming with zombies and wolves and such. No…that’s not the horrible part. The horrible part was when my mother started to follow me around and tell me about all of her problems…and new illnesses. That!...That is horrible in itself. You see, that also happens in real life (until I stopped messing with that side anyway).

Really, was anyone else here forced to lance a boil on your mother’s ass on the tender age of seven?

You know, if I ever got a boil on my ass…I’m going to the damn doctor, but only if putting some prep. H. on it doesn’t make it go away. (That’s a helpful tip from my best friend, it also-apparently-makes those in-grown hairs on your legs go away as well.) But it would never cross my mind to make my poor children have to deal with that. The worst part was that she was extremely over weight…extremely. So it usually took my little sister to hold the fat rolls out of the way while I lanced it…or visa-versa.

Man was I disturbed this morning.

Then, as I’m walking into the kitchen…squish! Damn it all to Hell! The carpet right next to the tile in the kitchen is wet. Damn it…Damn it…Damn it, the Rogue Wit had fixed that!!! The problem is, is if it is the air conditioner we’re good. We have a 10 year parts and labor warranty on it. But if it is the washer again…we have to do it ourselves…AGAIN. Or rather, the Rogue Wit has to do it again.
…And I can’t remember if it was wet before or after I started the laundry. Man, if it is the washer I’ll just have to let it get wet because I have four giant loads to wash.

*GIANT AGGITATED SIGH*

Thank God, I don’t have class tonight!

Oh sweet pepcid!

It burns!!!

No Farts!! 

Got Memo?

Memo to all employees:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T)

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S. H. I. T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S. H. I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T). Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already. If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).

For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T).


Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T)

Good Day Sun Shine...or is that "Hello!..Moon-shine?"

Today got used up before I became fully awake. I went to clean at my Step-Mother’s house. Wow! They are doing some fantastic arranging of the furniture and the lawn. It really looks beautiful.

Then it was off to visit Smokey Smurf. We, the daughter and I, spent some time playing with Smokey Smurf and her new pet, fellatio. That little vixen was jumping around the floor nipping at our feet. She’s a cutie, she is…and I love the squeaky noises she makes when she gets excited. I did my best to get fellatio riled up, but it was my daughter who finally was able to make her squeak. So after we stroked and petted and kissed fellatio for a while, the daughter and I left.

We then went to my step-sister’s house. Ah…nothing like holding tiny babies and having them belch on your shoulder. I miss those days…and yet…not so much. It’s much for fun to hold a crying baby and calm him down when you know you can hand him over to “Momma” when you’ve had your fill. LOL, that’s the best part of being an Aunt.

Hmm…I have the most ghetto house on the block. Just thought I’d mention that fact. You see with all of the construction associated with the re-modeling we have all of this shit piled on the side of the house and right out in front. Hell, I can’t even get to my lawn-mower to mow the front lawn. Uh, actually I’m not even sure if it will work at this point. God, I’m glad I’m a woman. I’ve got to make the old man look at it. You see, it got left out in the rain once or twice…three times at the most! Does that hurt mowers, you think? Maybe, if I’m lucky again, the next door hottie will offer to do it for me…shirtless. You could bounce a quarter off of his abs. I swear it…and I’d try it just for shits and giggles if I didn’t think his preppy little girlfriend would go psycho. LOL.

…Yeah, so I came home and beat the children. Okay, so I didn’t beat them…but I really thought about it. Why must siblings fight? Where’s my beer?

HO DAY!!

(LOL) With all of this really scientific data that I have collected and analyzed I have formulated a new Holiday.

August 12 shall this day forth be known as Ho Day.

I believe it encompasses most of the wants and desire’s everyone expressed. Why August? …because nothing happens in august (except my anniversary, but it’s not like you guys celebrate that).

Ho Day activities would include:

Cards—I believe Blog Ho has made several good cards that would be appropriate for Ho Day. You can also make your own. Subjects can include (but are not limited to): “Ass-kicking,” “I screwed your man/woman…and your momma,” “Did you know your boyfriend is gay,” and any number of other Ho-like cards that fits your needs.

The Ho-down—This is where everyone dresses up like a Cowboy/Cowgirl and dances around a fire.

The Ho-Party—invited all of your friends and their friends and their friends… Everyone who arrives must greet everyone with, “Hi, I’m (insert name) and I like to (insert sexual preference).” Then the giant orgy begins.

The cool down—After the giant orgy everyone stops by their X’s place and kicks his/her ass!

Belt Buckle City

It was out to the Cowboy Bar again tonight. Yes, I stood in the corner with my friend and we practiced the steps we watched the old cow-polks do.

Men are funny things. You all go to bars to meet women. Okay, don't you all know that that's why America leads other nations in the STD department? Some of that shit, if it doesn't make the little man fall off, can make you blind! Most of them you can't even get rid of...Disgusting.
...And trust me, I've seen enough penises (peni ?) to be an expert!

I watched this guy on the dance floor all night. His dancing is best described as Beavis's "ass-spank dance." The climax was when he dropped into the splits and dry humped the floor.
Leaning over to my friend I said, "Well, he has to have some kind of talent...It's the only thing going for him."

Really, if you know you look like Forest Gump's retarded midget brother...You have to have a gimmick.

Unfortunately, he was laughed off the dance floor by the group of girls (skanks...Cough) he was trying to pick up.

Speaking of skanks...Uh-hum...I mean girls...The bar flies were swarming. It seemed like the more skin you had falling, spilling, bulging out of your jeans and shirt...The more drunk men were hitting on you.

It was embarrassing, so I tucked my left ass cheek back in my jeans. (Okay, so that didn't happen, but I had to spice it up some what)

Next time out...I'm getting on the dance floor...I think I've gotten the steps down. Ain't no way I'm getting a mullet though. All though, I hear Blog Ho has a crotch mullet...and that's just sexy!

My Beautiful Baby Girl! "Awe, Mom..." 

Am I a bad Mother for thinking the super-hero of Lazy Town is DAMNED HOT!?!!! I mean, I think I know how to put all that strength and energy of his to it's best use!!! 

Come Back To Bed

Still is the light
of your room
when you're not inside
and all of your things
tell the sweetest story line
tears on these sheets
and your footsteps are down the hall
tell me what I did
I cant find where the moment went wrong at all

you can be mad in the morning
I'll take back what I said
just don't leave me alone here
its cold baby
come back to bed
come back to bed
come back to bed
come back to bed
come on come back to bed

what will this fix
you know you're not a quick forgive
and I wont sleep through this
I survive on the breath
you are finished with

you can be mad in the morning
I'll take back what I said
just don't leave me alone here
its cold baby
come back to bed
come back to bed
come back to bed
come back to bed...

***guitar solo***

you can be mad in the morning
or the afternoon instead
but don't leave me
98.6 degrees of separation
from you baby
come back to bed
why don't you come back to bed
don't hold your love over my head
don't hold your love over my head
don't hold your love over my head

~John Mayer~

Quote of the Day

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
~ by Unknown ~

...Argh! I'll follow the trail for treasure! 

So...I did something new with my hair and went shopping...Does this outfit make me look fat? 

That Bitter Place In Me

Does it matter what you did you to me?
Should I be bitter still?
Finding you throwing this away
But, begging me to stay.
And what have you to say to me?
What have you to say?

You WERE not worth my time.
Without you I’ve done fine.
You want me when I’m gone
When I was yours you hurt me
When I was yours you made me bleed.
Yours is now the blood to fall.
And the blood you shed for mine is small.

Salty-sweet and bitter cold
Was what we had…a sickly mold.
It rots within us and breaks us
And shakes us and it hates us.
That sickly sour in your mouth
Was put there by your hands…
Clean are my hands.

That distant look in heated passions
Kept me guarded and away.
You jealous, sick bastard
How dare you ask me to stay?
I could breathe the death in us
I could not stand the pain.
Your life was in the wind
My life was in the rain.

here

Emotions are heavy
Are timeless and ready
Are fading but steady
Are fleeting but here,

Screaming loud in my mind
Scared of what I will find
Heavy darkness and blind
Still heavy with fear,

Regret has not got me,
But tempts me and taunts me
And dazzles and haunts me
Yet, I am still here.

When is it time to let go?

Talking with a friend today has made me do some reflecting. The Rogue Wit is truly my soul-mate.

Marriage is hard work…HARD work. Sometimes there is an abundance of joy and happiness and other times it’s scarce. Does that mean it’s time to call it quits?

Not hardly.

There are times in our life when every body wonders about it. We ask ourselves if this is really going to work out. Am I fooling myself?

The point is that wondering about it should re-affirm our loyalties and relationships. Cliché yes, but when you are wondering about “Us,” write down a list of good and bad. Now cross off the silly things on the bad side. Example: snoring, smacking when she/he eats, doesn’t like Hootie and the Blowfish. Then, to be fair, write down your annoying qualities too. Then look at it, really look at it. If there are major problems, can you fix them? Are you the problem? Is he/she the problem? Are they really problems or just annoyances? Can you change something and make things better? Do you want to make things better? Does he/she want to make things better?

It sounds very silly, but the truth is it works.

My friend who I spoke with today was asking for an outside opinion. She knows I’m her friend, but she also knows that I can step back from her situation and look at it objectively. We’ve been friends for a short time, in the grand scheme of things, but we’ve got a friendship where we’re not afraid to tell each other if one of us is fucking up. So, I had her make one of those lists and call me back.

She has some very well founded and serious problems. It was an eye opening experience for her. To place all of that down on paper and look at it…well, let’s just say it made the picture a lot more clear to her. She really needs to leave him. She wants to leave him, but sometimes that’s hard especially if you have kids. I’ve spoken of this friend here before. Her husband was the one who opened a separate bank account with out her knowledge or consent. It’s the things he’s doing that are just odd and the fact that he doesn’t want to see a marriage counselor with her…It’s time to admit that it’s over.

It sounds like it’s been over for a long time…though neither one of them would admit it.

Lover forget me

From my heart I suffer
In my bed I slumber
I remember summer
Speaking softly to me

Your fingers in the wind
I remember in sin
The way you touched me then
It just should not have been

You were wild, I was tame
I was healthy, you lame
I beg, forget my name
It is never the same

Haunted by memories
Just leave me now and please,
Take with you all of these
Regrets of you and me’s.

Spring Time In Oklahoma! 

S & M?

Yes, I know you're gay...thanks for sharing.

Whilst in class yesterday, this dyke (dike?) turns to me and introduces herself (it was her first day, she switched teachers so to speak, but was taking the same class...if that makes since).

"Hi, I'm (not her real name) Elaine, and by the way...I'm a Lesbian."

"K...I'm Devona and not gay." -I mean what the HELL are you supposed to say to that?

Yeah, I think that under our laws you are entitled to get your lovin' however best it floats your boat. That doesn't mean I approve or want to hear about it! I was some what of a fag hag in my younger days, really gay men just think I'm awesome. I'm their shopping buddy and someone they can tell their problems to who isn't like..."It's because you're gay."

So thinking I was maybe a bit rude (though not hardly), I decided to make a little more chit-chat...as to appear more friendly.

"So, does your woman go to college here?" -genuine question...see, I care.

Well, apparently, this is not a good question to ask and I got her gay-rights-activist-panties in a bunch. For now, she is explaining to me the difference between having a "woman" and having a "life partner." Excuse me, but this is Oklahoma and gays can't get married here (unless I heard differently about that vote)...so it makes them "girlfriend/girlfriend." Even still, if they could get married here...I'd call her your gay wife! Come on, you introduced yourself as gay (my bad, Lesbian...Man, am I going to have a test over the terms or some shit?) and then you go off on a tangent because I used the wrong term?! As you can imagine I became pissed off. I was just sitting there waiting for my gimp of a professor to arrived and this crotch-monkey has to get in my face about something that I don't give a DAMN about. So I went off.

I can't remember exactly what I said to her, but be assured it was very witty...well, maybe slightly anyway. I was just happy that she left for another table. God, get over yourself people! I don't care that you want to eat wild beaver, but as for me and my friends...we'll be heading out for some Long Johns. I don't think they should get any laws especially for them. Honestly! It's a sexual preference...just like this bitch kept yelling at me...so they admit that freely. With all the racism (which implies RACE...not sexual preference) who gives a shit about gays. They're wasting our lawyer's time. Bla bla bla...hate crimes, yeah I know, but the majority who commit hate crimes against gays...are gay. It's one of those "in the closet" type things.

My point, and I think I had one, is that I don't go around saying...

"Hi, I'm Devona...by the way, I'm a rider-not a ridee."

Hell, on second thought...maybe we all should make our sexual preferences known to whoever we meet. It might help more people come together and give us a wider range of choices.

"Hello, I'm Bob and I like to be tied up and whipped."

"Hello, I'm Jill and I like to tie men up and whip them."

...See instant match!

So from now on our greetings will consist of names and sexual preference...I mean, that's all anyone cares about anyway, right?

What Would Be Your Holiday?

Okay, due to the lack of comments (which makes me shed a single tear down my left cheek) and ideas for Holidays...I'm creating a few more to add to the 3 we have and giving this another day for more comments.

So Far, we have:

Cowboy Day-
Everyone must dress up like a cowboy/cowgirl. All day long you say things like: "Ain't that yer Ma?" and "That idn't my Pa!"

"O" Day-
It was suggested to bring back the "naked dancing around a bon-fire" solstice celebrations, but this is a family blog...so we don't like the bitches...I mean witches.
Yet, I did like the part about the orgies. So, we have "O" Day.
"I'm going to show her my 'O' face"-Office Space
This will be a day of 'O' faces and orgies...send the kids to the grandparents and...Get-er-done!

Single Mom Day-
Everyone knows at least one single mother. This is the day to help her out...b/c that bastard of a man she left isn't going to.
Celebrations are a plus, but remember the single mom isn't to lift a finger. Everyone should cook something and swing by. The best part is that you don't just drop it off. Nope, you stay for a while and clean and do laundry and beat the kids for your "single mom-type friend" while she takes a nap or is out doing something that she can't ever find time to do.

Bitch Day-
I believe in my heart of hearts that women should celebrate our inner-bitch. One day a year, we should let her out un-provoked and give her lots of alcohol. Further more, men should bewary of this day and make sure they picked up their shoes from where ever they just kicked them off and make sure that they are "where they are supposed to be."
This is the day to let it all hang out, say the first thing that comes to mind, go ahead...make that piss-ant cry. I would think if we got this thing really going that the banks and government offices would close for the day. LOL...no one wants to be a man on Bitch Day.

...come on...let's all participate, now...what would be your holiday?

Some Times, Everyone Needs a Hug

For those of you who don't know, Smokey Smurf is my little sister. I've got the battle scars to prove it. Now, we fought as we were growing up, but I believe that's because it's something all siblings do. I'm learning this by watching my children squabble....AHHH!

Anyway, Smokey Smurf and I even through the fighting have always leaned on eachother. We grew up depressed and from time to time have a relapse. She's having a bit of one right now and it won't be until this weekend that I can get down there to give her a hug and tell her it'll be alright. So I'm asking you, my blogger friends, to go mess with her a bit and/or give her some good advise...something encouraging or just to make her laugh.

Also, she pulled the best April Fool's day prank EVER! I bet if we all bug her a little, she'll write about it.

Vampire's Day, anyone?

I was thinking about starting a new holiday, but as it turns out...someone else was quicker on the ball than I.

It was created by a group of college students who were sick of being left out on Valentine's Day. They then decided that Feb. 14th should also be Vampire's Day! It's still romantic (duh, vampires...neck biting) and it's not romantic at the same time. Brilliant! Vampires' Day is also a non-specific-gender holiday...were as, and I'll admit it, Valintine's day is mostly geared toward the woman.

Damn, so I'm going to have to think up another holiday.

Any suggestions?
(leave some details as to how it should be celebrated as well...and we'll vote on who's is the best in my next post!)

Aloe-vera!!!

I have the worst, WORST sun burn! BUT, I had the best day. We watched the Rogues and the Human Chess Match. Walked around and did some shopping. I stopped by "the house of scented stones" and got some more Stress Relief Linen Spray. That spray is good smelling and helps with allergies.

I posted most of my pictures...I hope you all enjoy them.

the mermaids 

The Human Chess Match! 

elephant rides...